In private, senior White House officials are bitterly complaining about the reasons for the Obamacare website fiasco, offering up excuse after excuse for its failure. We share with you now the top ten excuses they are making for what seems to be an otherwise inexplicable catastrophe.
10. “B Team” claimed to be the “A Team.”
9. Biden insisted on doing some of the coding himself.
8. Programmers spent too much time making out in the snack room with geek-adoring HHS staffers.
7. Complacent Obama aides figured, Hey, this is a U.S. government project. Of course it’s going to work!
6. While working, programmers sang, “The knee bone’s connected to the thigh bone, the thigh bone’s connected to the hip bone, the hip bone’s connected to the back bone,” but in web design, it’s the other way around.
5. Website built by “extremists,” “suicide bombers,” “kidnappers,” and “arsonists.”
4. Programmer dropped a piece of his Ring Ding in the software, screwing up everything.
3. Should have used orangutans to perform quality control instead of chimpanzees.
2. Dog ate my website.
And the top excuse for the Obama website crash is . . .
1. You just can’t get a decent website for $394 million these days.