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Top Ten White House Obamacare Comparisons

White House Press Secretary Jay Carney Wednesday compared Obamacare to “an apple that’s fresh and delicious,” as opposed to the apple full of worms represented by the current health care system.

But White House Dossier has found that this is just one of the many comparisons White House officials make when they speak in glowing terms about Obamacare. Here are the top ten other ways they frequently describe the Affordable Care Act.

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1. It’s like an EPA regulation that’s fresh and delicious.

2. It’s better than sex.

3. It’s better than communism.

4. It’s like a large bowl of happiness soup.

5. It’s like being twerked by Helen of Troy

6. It’s as if Yoko had never broken up the Beatles.

7. It’s like getting to choose your vice president again.

8. It’s like being told you won the lottery, then being told you didn’t win the lottery, and then being told, No, wait a second, you actually did win the lottery!

9. It’s like having Michelle as your personal nutritionist.

10. It’s like getting to use the IRS against your enemies.

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22 Responses to Top Ten White House Obamacare Comparisons

  1. I’d rather have Helen of Troy as my nutritionist–I like Greek food. And Michelle is so hip, BFF Beyonce and all that, maybe she’d be good at Number 5.

      • Obamacare will be the death of America. The cloture vote is the battle of the Alamo for the Republican party. Are the Republican senators going to get behind our William Barret Travis (Cruz) who has drawn a line in the sand? Or are they going to turn tail and surrender to Santa Anna (aka cryptkeeper) Reid? The RINOs need to remember that Santa Anna not only killed every soldier at the Alamo, he killed the turncoats too.

        • “Santa Anna not only killed every soldier at the Alamo, he killed the turncoats too.” – Susan

          True that. No one stands with a traitor. Not even another traitor, in a party of traitors. Just ask Arlen Specter how that works…

  2. Let’s hear him say “Obamacare is like the plan we who spend our days in Washington have!”

    I was going to say “Work” in Washington, but that would be stretching…

  3. “It’s like spending the WHOLE DAY in my personal situation room with Jay-Z, WITHOUT Beyonce and Michelle around – wait, who let the President write one?”

  4. “Obamacare – it’s like the bestest, brightest, shiniest, most juicy apple in the WHOLE Garden of Eden!

    C’mon, just one little bite and it’ll change your WHOLE LIFE…”

    • If one wanted to get technical, one could say that the forbidden fruit looked like grapes, not apples, according to one ancient (if disputed) source.

      From the Book of Enoch, Chapter 31:

      In this garden I beheld, among other trees, some which were numerous and large, and which flourished there.

      Their fragrance was agreeable and powerful, and their appearance both varied and elegant. The tree of knowledge also was there, of which if any one eats, he becomes endowed with great wisdom.

      It was like a species of the tamarind tree, bearing fruit which resembled grapes extremely fine; and its fragrance extended to a considerable distance. I exclaimed, How beautiful is this tree, and how delightful is its appearance!

      Then holy Raphael, an angel who was with me, answered and said, This is the tree of knowledge, of which thy ancient father and thy aged mother ate, who were before thee; and who, obtaining knowledge, their eyes being opened, and knowing themselves to be naked, were expelled from the garden.

      That said…once we DO eat this fruit, the operating phrase may well turn out to be, “How about dem apples?”

  5. “Obamacare – it’s like getting the President to promise an Executive Order forbidding it to pay for abortions so you can vote for it…

    Darn it, guys, now your letting Bart Stupak write these? He doesn’t even WORK here any more!”

  6. “5. It’s like being twerked by Helen of Troy” – Keith Koffler

    I like this one and it’s pretty accurate to what they want us to believe, but it’s also pretty much a Western Civilization reference in an administration with nothing but hatred for Western Civilization. I suspect Obama wouldn’t approve it, because Obama wouldn’t get it.

    I COULD be wrong, but without his school records, how will we ever know…

  7. Reminds me of what Hitler did prior to the 1936 Olympics. He made
    Berlin and it’s people look like it was the happiest place on earth all
    the tourist were so impressed. Well we all know that didn’t end well
    did it? Like this Trojan Apple Obamacare.

    • I’m not laughing. I get tears in my eyes when I think of our Hitler in the White House. And the Republicans could stop this train but now they won’t. They are just as bad if they don’t. This socialist/communist new medical plan will be forever if the House purse doesn’t stop it. And if the Republican party lets this trashy medical go into effect,I will NEVER vote again.