As any of you who are conservative and who has had an argument with a liberal know – and I realize that includes most of you – liberals don’t just disagree with conservatives. They hate them.
They think conservatives are either evil, dumb, or both.
In Bush-Cheney, liberals had one of the greatest joys of their lifetimes, a moment during which they believed they had both dumb and evil in the same White House. It left them never wanting for jokes, snide remarks, and the sneering condescension they love to inflict – ooh, it makes them feel so good inside, so morally and intellectually robust. Oh such glorious Cro Magnon outrage against the Neanderthals!
Reagan of course was The Golden Age, evil and dumb embodied in the same individual. Then George H.W. Bush was elected, and he didn’t seem particularly dumb or evil to them. Liberals weren’t enjoying themselves at all, so they quickly elected Bill Clinton.
Romney was undeniably smart and didn’t seem very evil. The Obama campaign threw all sorts of dirt at him, though I don’t think average voters failed to support him because they thought he was really a bad guy.
But for true liberals, if dumbness can’t be located in a conservative, there must be evil in there somewhere. I recently spoke with a lefty – actually, speaking isn’t exactly what we were doing – who exclaimed to me, “Romney was a whore!”
Really? Romney? A whore?
Obama was sold to us as a new kind of politician who was above politics and could build bridges and blah blah blah blah blah.
Excuse me, I’m not done.
Blah blah blah blah blah.
But he’s just another liberal POLITICIAN who harbors the standard, stereotypical, unintellectual view of conservatives as dumb morons motivated by ill will toward their fellow man, and certainly, fellow woman.
And so, even as the wounded and dead were being accounted for following a mass shooting Monday morning a couple of miles away, Obama couldn’t live the with prospect of having to delay sinking his teeth into his conservative opponents. He’d spent weeks being nice as he courted their support for his Syria bombing campaign. I mean, enough was enough.
And so we got this:
Are some of these folks really so beholden to one extreme wing of their party that they’re willing to tank the entire economy just because they can’t get their way on this issue? Are they really willing to hurt people just to score political points? I hope not.
As you and I have discussed during our secret Tea Party meetings that liberals don’t know about, we need to do a much better job hurting people. It’s great that we’re oppressing the poor and locking the doors to the middle class, but we’ve got much more work to do.
I try to hurt someone before breakfast, and I think you should too. It’s a good routine and gets the day off to a nice start. At least torture an animal. Hurt a child if you can (don’t get physical, just give them a cigarette or a Ring Ding), put a black person in “back in chains” (How did Biden find out about this? Have one of you been leaking information from out meetings?) or, if you’re a dude, write the Republican Party to see what role you can play as a soldier in the war on women.
Wait a second, though. Obama also said this:
And as far as the budget goes, it’s time for responsible Republicans who share these goals — and there are a number of folks out there who I think are decent folks, I’ve got some disagreements with them on some issues, but I think genuinely want to see the economy grow and want what’s best for the American people — it’s time for those Republicans to step up and they’ve got to decide what they want to prioritize.
Did you see that? He said, there are a number of folks out there who I think are decent folks. That is, while most of us on the right are awful, there actually are “a number” of us who are “decent.”
It could be me! I might be a decent fellow after all! It could be you!
Thank God. He’s not completely onto us. Let’s make sure we keep a better lid on those meetings lest he discover the truth.