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Oh No. Jimmy Carter is Headed to North Korea.

by Keith Koffler on July 29, 2013, 4:49 pm

This is bad. Jimmy Carter is reportedly going to North Korea to try to free an American citizen being held there.

You see, here’s the problem. Jimmy Carter is like 107 years old and has no idea what he’s doing. I mean, he’s in pretty good possession of his faculties, but he has never known what he’s doing when it comes to foreign policy or anything else that doesn’t involve constructing cheap housing by hand in low income neighborhoods.

Jimmy Carter 2

No problem, I got this

So he’s going to negotiate with the North Koreans to release someone named Kenneth Bae, who supposedly went into the country as a missionary and found out too late that the tyrants who run the place really aren’t into that sort of thing. And so instead of converting the Godless he wound up as a pawn of international diplomacy.

I feel for Kenneth and I think we should be making efforts to get him released. But really, he should have thought this through a little better.

Now, the North Koreans see Carter, and they think, Ahh, here comes Obama. Because, even though the White House emphasized that this is a “private trip,” the North Koreans won’t think it is because they assume that Jimmy is still part of the government in some fashion because where they live, nobody leaves senior government service with his head still connected to his thorax.

Heck, I’m not even sure Carter isn’t up to something on behalf of the White House, given the haphazard way this administration conducts foreign policy.

And so, Carter will start negotiating, and all of a sudden the North Koreans will put something significant on the table, and Carter will call the White House, and they’ll be like, “Oh no, what do we do now?”

And all of a sudden Jimmy Carter will be negotiating nuclear proliferation issues AND THAT’S LIABLE TO END US UP IN A BIG WORLD OF HURT.

Because he doesn’t know what he’s doing.

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{ 80 comments }

Rod July 29, 2013 at 5:01 pm

Can we just trade Kenneth for Jimmy? Jimmy the Pious can just stay in N Korea to round out his days…

WNY_ROC July 29, 2013 at 5:17 pm

^^ ;-) ^^

Annette C. Alber July 29, 2013 at 7:40 pm

my best friend’s ex-wife makes ($)85 every hour on the computer. She has been out of work for 7 months but last month her pay was ($)19690 just working on the computer for a few hours. Read more on this site… c­a­n9­9.ℂ­ℴ­M

Annette C. Alber July 29, 2013 at 7:45 pm

my best friend’s ex-wife makes ($)85 every hour on the computer. She has been out of work for 7 months but last month her pay was ($)19690 just working on the computer for a few hours. Read more on this site… http://www.Ç­a­n9­9.ℂ­ℴ­M

srdem65 July 29, 2013 at 8:12 pm

Gee, Annette, I think your best friend’s wife is lying to you.
$19690 divided by 85 makes it 232 hours for the month or a 58 hour workweek.
I bet he’s lying to you about the hourly wage, too.

BTW, we know it’s a scam, so scram.

sassy July 29, 2013 at 8:40 pm

Please go away. I am so tired of seeing this post on every site I visit. Why is it always someone you know vaguely but not you?? Just go away.

Star July 30, 2013 at 11:24 am

Second that–there is only one sin here–boring us.

Bob Vedari February 9, 2014 at 7:58 pm

My friend’s husband saw your friend’s wife on his sex webcam. He asked for a refund.

Girly1 July 29, 2013 at 5:06 pm

Why not just have Jimmah and Dennis Rodman flip a coin?

Shofar July 29, 2013 at 5:08 pm

Perhaps his real motivation for going to N. Korea is not to secure Kenny boy’s release, but rather to encourage the teenage tyrant to allow Habitat for Humanity to start building low cost homes in Pyongyang.

Sadie July 29, 2013 at 5:09 pm

Prisoner swap – Dumb for Dumber.

Frederick July 29, 2013 at 5:13 pm

While Carter is there, he should ask for the US Pueblo back.

Langley Spook July 29, 2013 at 5:36 pm

USS Pueblo (AGER-2)

over/under the North Koreans will get a photo-op with Carter at Pueblo for propaganda…?

gracepmc July 29, 2013 at 6:45 pm

What a bumbling fool to go there on the heels of the Nork show and tell of the Pueblo.

Mandy Manners July 29, 2013 at 5:16 pm

I’d ask if we could get them to keep him, but those poor people have enough problems.

Bob Baldwin July 29, 2013 at 5:32 pm

so what is the deal Trade a few bags of peanuts ,Smile a lot and MAYBE they will free the hostage ?

Of course if he is released OBOZO will take FULL CREDIT for doing so !!

Invite LIL KIM DONG WONG over for a full State Diner praising the whole world his Humanitarianism and recomend him for a NOBEL PEACE PRIZE !

Michael July 29, 2013 at 5:26 pm

If things get really heavy, we can fly Dennis Rodman out.

When an agreement looks promising, how about sending Hillary (aka Piaps) to burnish her foreign policy credentials?

The Business July 29, 2013 at 5:46 pm

Feed JC to the hungry.

Marcus July 29, 2013 at 5:48 pm

Hmmm. Must be an election coming up in N. Korea. Carter will certify the election as “clean and honest”.

srdem65 July 29, 2013 at 5:56 pm

Nobody with a working brain cell believed that the three Americans were “hiking” near the Iraqi/Iranian border when they were captured a few years ago.
Likewise, the holy man did not just “go into” N Korea to spread the word of his religion to starving peasants. Nobody just “goes into” N Korea without being noticed.

All the reports of his capture in N Korea make it sound like he just booked a flight to Korea, rented a car from Enterpise, and mapped out the countryside, but ran afoul of some local regulations. Didn’t happen, he’s not there to spread the word of whichever mission he worships, and , really, does he even speak Korean?

As for the elderly MrCarter, sure, why not send him to negotiate with the young tubby. It’s likely that he’s carrying some special gift or gifts for the youngster; the latest edition of GrandTheftAuto, or Wolverine, or even some tasty treats that are hard to get in NK like a sack of KFC or some Baskin/Robbins treats.

Just a reminder, MrK. — Some of your sharpest readers and commenters are not spring chickens, either. Age slows the body, not the mind.

Mandy Manners July 29, 2013 at 6:05 pm

Yes, he speaks Korean.

http://www.cnn.com/2013/07/03/world/asia/kenneth-bae-korea-interview

As to the people captured by the Iranians, what else could they be but idiotic tourists? Spies?

srdem65 July 29, 2013 at 7:16 pm

I sit here corrected. The news account quotes him a admitting his crimes against NK. He looks as if he is of Korean descent.

IMO: He was sent there to spy for us under cover of a pious missionary.

Mandy Manners July 29, 2013 at 9:00 pm

What idiot let a civilian do such a dangerous thing? Who’s in charge of the CIA: Pee-wee Herman?

Star July 29, 2013 at 6:31 pm

I thought of that last. I always liked Carter. That Iran thing was just more indecisiveness–and the chopper crashed–he wasn’t piloting. We have indecisiveness now. I think Carter, unlike the current president, put in the time and study. Yes–mixed results. And he is not 107!! Jeez, Keith, way to diss the older people!

Star July 29, 2013 at 6:33 pm

I meant that “last” from SrDem–defending the elder part of elder statesman.

Keith Koffler July 29, 2013 at 9:05 pm

I know, I’m hoping to get old myself one day! At least as opposed to the alternative. And I do rely on the wisdom of my elders around here. But he’s pushing 90. I hope it’s no insult to my readers to say that might not be the perfect age for nuclear arms control negotiations!

Time for him to return to Plains and watch the peanuts grow.

Mandy Manners July 29, 2013 at 9:22 pm

And kill more kitties!

:- (

Keith Koffler July 29, 2013 at 9:35 pm

His worst sin of all.

Mandy Manners July 29, 2013 at 10:59 pm

Well, his affiliation with anti-Israel groups is beyond the Pale.

He’s an old, Jew-hating bastard, and I won’t shed a tear when he’s planted six-feet deep.

I despise him.

Star July 30, 2013 at 11:23 am

Meaning???

Star July 30, 2013 at 11:26 am

Mandy–I thought you were against wishing people dead. I am confused.

DMcG July 29, 2013 at 6:04 pm

Agreed that Carter doesn’t know what he’s doing. And that Obama doesn’t know what he or Carter is doing. Perhaps we should send Dennis Rodman over there, just to keep some semblence of order?

Star July 29, 2013 at 6:34 pm

Didn’t Bill Clinton get some gals out of there–was it N Korea?

Mandy Manners July 29, 2013 at 6:58 pm

Were they tall, blonde and not-too bright?

Julie Brueckheimer July 29, 2013 at 7:45 pm

Speaking of blonde and not too bright young ladies, a poll shows that 72% of young women in NYC support Anthony Weiner even while Drudge has said that in general his support has ‘shrivled’ and he is now in fourth place. This is a very scary demographic of the electorate. The Democrats brag about what they do for women, but they have enslaved a whole generation who cannot think critically.

Mandy Manners July 29, 2013 at 9:15 pm

Power supposedly is a powerful aphrodesiac, but if my dog looked like Anthony Weiner, I’d shave his butt and make him walk backwards.

Julie Brueckheimer July 29, 2013 at 11:58 pm

rotflmao

Star July 30, 2013 at 11:27 am

Guess you don’t recall the incident.

rawheadrex July 29, 2013 at 6:16 pm

Ah, the Ennui Missile! America’s secret weapon is launched.

Mandy Manners July 29, 2013 at 6:36 pm

*shakes cane*

Rick Clark July 29, 2013 at 6:47 pm

If they are going to send a lib; why not Bill Richardson. Oh I forgot he’s being investigated. How about Hillary; oops not liked or respected. Why doesn’t obi go. Same reaction as Hillary. Sounds like a problem.

deehra July 29, 2013 at 7:13 pm

How would anyone in the Zero regime know the difference if Jimmy gives away the country ? I hope Bozo Does take credit for whatever insanity Carter achieves.

rulierose July 29, 2013 at 7:14 pm

NOBODY is going to make an Amy Carter joke? am I the only one on this board who remembers when Jimmah lost a debate by saying he had “discussed nuke-ya proliferation with mah daughtah Amy…”?

Mandy Manners July 29, 2013 at 11:01 pm

What joke is there to make about her?

If you have one, bring it on.

Star July 30, 2013 at 11:28 am

As far as I know, Amy is a decent person–are we going to savage her now? Man–this is an ugly thread. I am out.

AZ Granny July 29, 2013 at 7:40 pm

I’ve never understood why people will go into a hostile foreign country with expectations that everything will go all right. Given that he has family and medical conditions that are deteriorating, I have to wonder what did he expect. Perhaps I’m just not a gambler…

Julie Brueckheimer July 29, 2013 at 7:47 pm

I’m with srdem: I think he was spying. A real Maxwell Smart type.

Mandy Manners July 29, 2013 at 11:22 pm

Cone of Silence.

AZ Granny July 30, 2013 at 1:48 am

Julie, I agree. That’s the only logical explanation.

AZ Granny July 29, 2013 at 7:42 pm

I also meant to ask is it really true that the Congressional Black Caucus wants Sheila Jackson Lee nominated to replace Napolitano at DHS?

DeniseVB July 29, 2013 at 8:14 pm

Latest I heard the Black Caucus has recommended her, that’s as far as it’s gone … so far.

srdem65 July 29, 2013 at 8:14 pm

Yep.

sassy July 29, 2013 at 8:44 pm

What a laugh——dumb, dumber, dumbest! Is she the best they can come up with? ;-)

Bonnie July 29, 2013 at 11:28 pm

Where then does Maxine Waters fit in this pyramid?

Danceswithtruth July 30, 2013 at 9:02 am

Maybe they’re testing a new reality TV series.

Mandy Manners July 29, 2013 at 11:04 pm

Bring. It On.

AZ Granny July 30, 2013 at 1:59 am

Thanks, I thought I had read a satire piece. Hopefully, it goes no further than this recommendation.

Junius July 29, 2013 at 8:22 pm

“Because he doesn’t know what he’s doing.” Are you sure your not talking about Barack Obama?

Mandy Manners July 29, 2013 at 11:15 pm

GRAMMAR, JUNIUS, GRAMMAR.

Jeff July 29, 2013 at 11:11 pm

Actually if Carter can go for the photo-op and tour and secure the guy no problem. He has been there before and isnt as big a threat over there as say, anywhere near Israel..
Because we all know Obama wont lift a finger..Let him go.

Mandy Manners July 29, 2013 at 11:17 pm

Jimmah is one of the premier Jew-hating bastards nowadays.

Star July 30, 2013 at 11:31 am

I bet this, even if true and I would need evidence, the family of that hostage is plenty glad to have a former president, however old, try to help them. and he might succeed–even if it’s just to give the admin a slap.

Brett July 30, 2013 at 8:56 am

I don’t know what Carter hopes to accomplish. They see him as a pathetic weakling regardless of his personal vitality.
Kim Il Sung, Kim Jong Il; they’ve always seen Carter as weak
Perceived weakness in the DPRK has the effect of a pheromone.
All I know is that a few months ago Lil Kim was really raising Hell…then he disappeared for three weeks.
He appears to have had an attitude adjustment
I believe the Chinese offered Kim and his aunt a bullet to the back of the head or a lengthy sabbatical in a facility in rural China before yanking a knot in their tails and sending them home with their “heads right”.
War on the Korean peninsula is bad for Business.

qestout July 30, 2013 at 9:10 am

Keith, this is hilarious. Thanks :)

cinc joe August 6, 2013 at 12:09 pm

the best we could expect is that NK will keep carter, the worst is that they won’t. A fundamental problem with the “peanut” cruncher from GA is that although he forfeited the position of worst POTIUS since James Buchanan of PA who held the title for almost a 100 yrs to BHO, this trip could conceivably put him back into contention for #1 again. Re-read the book, “Ex-Presidents Club” about the most exclusive club in the world, currently there are only four members. Started by Truman, it never had more than 5 members at one time – it does explain a lot….

SMOKEY August 6, 2013 at 1:06 pm

Heck, I’m not even sure Carter isn’t up to something on behalf of the White House, given the haphazard way this administration conducts foreign policy.

While reading your post, I thought the same thing…Silence on issues, scandal after scandal…I guess I’d stay quiet too…Go get em’ Jimmy

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