As of now, I am in control here, in the White House

White House Hints at Ways for Egypt to Keep Aid it Should Lose

In Washington, a town populated by lawyers and not English professors, words can come to mean strage things. I give you, for example, the Affordable Care Act – AKA Obamacare – which is already making care less affordable. Or the term “sexual relations.” You all remember that one.

And so the Obama White House, which makes a specialty of reinterpreting the language of laws to suit its needs, has decided to further diminish its vanishing stocks of credibility by refusing to acknowledge what would be obvious to any pimple-faced high school student taking his first world affairs course: that the military overthrow of the democratically-elected government in Egypt was a classic, unambiguous coup d’etat.

But there’s a problem. President Obama doesn’t like laws that create inconveniences for his policies, as he has shown with respect to immigration, health care, and on other matters. And U.S. law states that we simply cannot provide aid to nations whose militaries throw out elected leaders. Even if we don’t like the elected leaders.

How annoying, Obama must have thought to himself. However, I am Obama. Congress makes the laws. But I make the rules.

And so White House Press Secretary Jay Carney today said the bureaucracy is now studying whether the coup was a coup, and whether lollipops come on a stick. And – hint, hint, nudge nudge, see what I mean? – the bureaucrats will be watching to see whether democratic procedures begin to return to Egypt and reconciliation starts to take place.

Lemme translate:

GIVE US A SUITABLE FIGUREHEAD, TRY TO MAKE NICE WITH THE ISLAMISTS, SCHEDULE AN ELECTION OR TWO, AND YOU CAN HAVE YOUR MONEY.

Obama’s not going to cut off aid to Egypt, because it’s bad policy. But we do have laws in this country.

For me, it’s always inconvenient to have to pay before exiting the supermarket. But there are those damned laws . . .

And so to preserve democracy in Egypt, Obama will subvert it here in the United States.

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8 Responses to White House Hints at Ways for Egypt to Keep Aid it Should Lose

  1. As Washington-speak goes, I like “free” the best. Free healthcare, free to speak your mind, free to worship, and free to pursue one’s happiness. Yeaah, right.

    The President could order a low-level flunkie at the CIA to call a presser to describe the action as a “putsch”, or bring out the guy who gets everyone coffee at the State department to claim that since Morsey is “still in the building” that a transfer of power has not been completed by the military.
    Goodness knows we want the President to be able to shower our enemies with our hard-earned money.

  2. I can’t get my knicker in a twist about this because I favor doing anything to kick out, and keep out, the Muslim Brotherhood.

  3. Color me shocked. In a time when bullies win the day, the lawless rule and a president does whatever the heck he wants – wake me up when it’s all over.

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