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White House Dossier Signs Up for Flat Earth Society

by Keith Koffler on June 25, 2013, 7:25 pm

With his usual contempt for those who disagree wit him, President Obama today said those who don’t see the light on the need to meet the “challenge” of global warming belong to the Flat Earth Society, adding that they appeared to have their heads stuck in that same flat earth.

Have a look at the president who can barely stand you:

So much for Obama’s “charm” tour – his recent unserious and mostly aborted effort to build bridges to Republicans. They really dig being called idiots.

But this Flat Earth Society sounded interesting to me, and I immediately inquired about joining.

I found out that the Flat Earth Society – as Obama suggests – includes people who agree there may be a human contribution to climate change, but aren’t sure enough that this is such a pressing or proven problem that we need move quickly in a draconian way, attacking a weak economy and harming the poor and the middle class.

These Flat Earthers, I discovered, are aware that the earth hasn’t warmed in 15 years and all the previous models constructed by members of The Round Earth Society about how the climate was supposed to behave turned out to be wrong.

Round Earthers like Obama are also counseling vehicle fuel mileage standards that will result in lighter cars that will kill thousands of people. So it appears that the Flat Earthers – who tell me they also remember the global cooling scare three decades ago – want to not only save the economy, but save lives too.

As you can imagine, in the end I signed White House Dossier up as a member. I’ve also put out feelers to The Association of Unenlightened Neanderthals and the Union of Knuckle Draggers to inquire about membership in their groups as well.

BTW, here’s a golden oldie, some enviro contempt from a couple of years ago that backfired on this particular Round Earther.


Carriem June 25, 2013 at 7:43 pm

What’s with the giant veins on his temples? Never noticed those before.

ImNoDhimmi June 26, 2013 at 7:00 am

The creepy veins appear when Barry is angry or whenever anyone has the temerity to disagree with him.

Star June 26, 2013 at 12:32 pm

Saw those last nite as he railed! I thought, better check his BP!

Not Nabob the Knothead June 25, 2013 at 7:59 pm

When I heard about this Flat Earth Society all I could say was “sign me up”!
P.S. I’ll drink to that.

Lizzy June 26, 2013 at 10:09 am

Calling for a much larger ‘tea trolley’:-) Fat Flat Earth sign me up too!

srdem65 June 25, 2013 at 8:08 pm

Welcome to the group. As a lifelong member of the Flat Earth Society (or as we call ourselves, the FESsers) it’s very rewarding to know that our numbers are not dwindling as the MSM implies.
The round earth people are to be pitied for their mistaken beliefs; after all common sense tells us that if the earth were round, we wouldn’t be able to stand up without falling down, cars would roll off the street, and buildings would topple over on themselves..
Goodness, a round earth, how silly.

Star June 26, 2013 at 12:33 pm

I always liked the part where it said–THERE BE DRAGONS.

Julie Brueckheimer June 25, 2013 at 8:10 pm

He, of all people, should talk about the future ‘we’ are leaving our children and grandchildren. I listened up to the flat earth part but after he brought up the chiiiiilllllldren, I couldn’t take any more.

Keith Koffler June 25, 2013 at 9:24 pm

What? Julie, are you against the children?? Did you know oil company executives eat children in their boardrooms? It’s true.

Personally, as srdem notes, I’m worried my children are going to fall off this round earth they’re talking about.

A.J. June 25, 2013 at 10:26 pm

I personally like children, if they’re cooked properly!!

A.J. June 25, 2013 at 10:27 pm

And remember, as Hilary says, “It takes a village to eat a child”!!

A.J. June 25, 2013 at 10:38 pm

Retract both of those. As the dems like to say, “I was quoted out of context”. Actually, I’ve had a really bad day and I’m crankier than usual. I was doing a plumbing job, I’m not a plumber, my wife wants it to look professional when it’s done and if I keep whining I’ll be able to run for public office.

Julie Brueckheimer June 26, 2013 at 12:19 am

I dunno, you do a pretty good Jonathan Swift imitation.

JBH June 26, 2013 at 9:59 am

They taste like chicken!

Pbb June 25, 2013 at 8:22 pm

The beat goes on………..the beat goes on. He has the sound bites he needs to show that he is willing to work with anyone. At the same time he has a sound bite for his base showing if you disagree with my premise your from the dark ages.

When you can’t win the argument resort to name calling, Really???

If he so concerned stop taking unnecessary world trips and quit flying FLOTUS on a separate plane every trip. Her goodwill trip to Ireland really helped didn’t it?

Carriem……the veins on his head are huge!

Sadie June 25, 2013 at 8:23 pm

I was going to join the Flat Earth Society but Hank Johnson warned that it could tip and capsize. Lucky for me, three men in a tub offered me a boat ride.

srdem65 June 25, 2013 at 8:52 pm

Please reconsider your decision. Hank is one of those sad round-earthers who think that islands are like cruise ships floating in the sea.
When the actress, Tina Fey, pretended to be Sarah Palin and said she could see Russia from her house as a joke, she didn’t realize how stipid that sounded. Of course, if you look West from Alaska you’ll see Russia. Why? Because the Earth is flat.

So, give us a second chance. We love having new people.

Sadie June 25, 2013 at 10:12 pm

Just as soon as I have a manicure for my “knuckles” – wouldn’t want to join the club looking shabby. ; – )

rawheadrex June 25, 2013 at 8:29 pm

The most significant contribution to “global warming” is collective BHO and other liberal oral flatulence. This is the result of belches conversing among themselves as to whether they should use routine avenues or exercise the alternative escape by which they become “stinkers.” The problem arises due to the belches losing direction because the opposing exits of BHO and liberals are so indistinguishable the belches cannot decide and take the typical “easy” choice.
Open flames are discouraged in the presence of liberals.

anneinarkansas June 25, 2013 at 8:51 pm

Thank you Keith for expressing my thoughts exactly….I have fumed all day after that strange speech by Obama.
He looked crazy to me…….

Mari June 26, 2013 at 11:16 am

Looked? Try ‘is’ and leave out the ‘to me’…

Junius June 25, 2013 at 8:54 pm

Such concentrated evil in one human being is both amazing and frightening. His biggest regret in life right now is that he cannot give vent to all of the evil and rage that swirls inside of him against this Country and its citizens by giving free reign to his supressed bloodlust and ordering mass executions of all of his perceived enemies by decree. But make no mistake folks if he could he would in the blink of an eye. Truly Dictator Obama is cut from the same sinister cloth as a Stalin, Mao, or Hitler.

A.J. June 25, 2013 at 10:31 pm

You are exactly right. And I am VERY sad that that is so!!

Star June 26, 2013 at 12:36 pm

I would not go that far–but he does flail about alarmingly in some of these speeches.

ArnoldLayne June 25, 2013 at 9:35 pm

I read recently that 40% of the ‘carbon pollution’ in this country comes from electricity generating power plants. In an unrelated story, the federal government continues to encourage use of all- electric vehicles.

A.J. June 25, 2013 at 10:43 pm

No, no!! You don’t understand. Electricity is “CLEAN”. We don’t even need to THINK about where it COMES from. In fact, in a perfect “progressive” world, we don’t need to think at all ’cause our leaders will do that for us. And if you keep having insights like this, Eric Holder will have to do something to you that he won’t be able to remember when questioned about it by cingress.

ArnoldLayne June 25, 2013 at 11:48 pm

and BTW, at the same time, we’re supposed to ‘conserve electricity’ by installing mercury-filled bulbs, keeping the indoor temperature uncomfortably warm, and by letting Pacific Gas & Electric install monitoring and controlling equipment in our homes.
And at work, my employer, being a good ‘greenie California’ corporation, turns up thermostat on hot afternoon, making my top floor, West- facing office, uncomfortably warm. Liberal utopia is just great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

gracepmc June 25, 2013 at 9:42 pm

Now I am confused. I could have sworn one of Barack’s bffs Thomas Friedman of NYT fame said The World is Flat.

Sadie June 25, 2013 at 10:14 pm

Much like a flat tire – only at the bottom.

A.J. June 25, 2013 at 10:49 pm

OK, if the Earth ISN”T flat, why do my Triple A maps display dragons at their edges. (I’ll admit, some of my maps (charts) are a bit old. I picked them up at the AAA dead sea office).

Sadie June 25, 2013 at 10:54 pm

Silly – you picked up the maps on the Jordanian side of the Dead Sea. ; )

A.J. June 25, 2013 at 11:03 pm

You must be right. If I remember correctly, I got a real good deal on a pair of Air Jordanians at the open-air market. Right between the cell phone shop and the guy selling AK-47s.

Sharon Rondeau June 25, 2013 at 11:03 pm

How about he hates America and everything it stood for?

A.J. June 25, 2013 at 11:05 pm

I’d make some smart-ass comment but sadly you have spoke the plain, unadulterated, simple, succinct truth!!!!!

A.J. June 25, 2013 at 11:07 pm

And “stood”, the past tense. Painfully profound!!

Kimbly June 25, 2013 at 11:50 pm

You can add a bitter clinger to the membership, Keith. I actually attended a talk by one of the climate panel scientists years ago. Wish I was bold enough to ask questions of her. Basically they created a model of the entire earth’s climate and the hockey stick graph printed out of the computer. No chance for model error there…

Playrighter June 25, 2013 at 11:54 pm

So says the man who successfully stuck HIS head in the sand for months over Benghazi. Guess he was fine with the “flat earth” left behind after our American brothers were killed over there.

Julie Brueckheimer June 26, 2013 at 12:21 am

Stuck his head in the sand or turned his back?

Playrighter June 26, 2013 at 2:24 am

Point well taken. Would that make one a turncoat?

Suzanne Bourbeau June 26, 2013 at 3:35 am

Well….I can barely stand him. So go ahead and hack my email (again).
And send summer to your lii hometown Hawaii cuz it’s global cooling here since your last vacation.

Island Girl June 26, 2013 at 3:38 am

Ooops that wasn’t me:)

Anne Lieberman June 26, 2013 at 7:24 am

Round earth, flat earth, what difference at this point does it make?

Guillermo Grande June 26, 2013 at 7:27 am

Perfect. The very definition of Arbitrary Assumption: in the absence of fact, if enough people repeat it, it must be true. Only Obama could use belittling falsehood to perpetuate an even bigger lie this flatly. The obvious case is the Global Warmer’s are not Copernicus or Galileo, rather the oppressive church. Anything not from them will be heresy. (Not bashing the church…just historical perspective.) If there is one thing we have learned from history, it’s that we didn’t learn a damn thing.

AFVet June 26, 2013 at 10:02 am

I love the last sentence.
Can I steal it ?

Guillermo Grande June 26, 2013 at 12:49 pm

Sure thing! Truth in advertising, you won’t be stealing from me. While creativity is good, plagiarism is faster!

Star June 26, 2013 at 1:30 pm

Doris Kearns Goodwin, right?

Guillermo Grande June 26, 2013 at 1:48 pm

Bazinga! nice one Star.

Star June 26, 2013 at 2:09 pm


JimK June 26, 2013 at 8:03 am

Squirrel!!! ( What scandals?? )

Rinminbi June 26, 2013 at 8:33 am

If he represents the round earth, I’ll stay with the flat earth and keep trying to push these type of mutants off my planet!

This man may be the biggest douche bag in the history of this rock. And what’s really scary, he has the potential to kill more people than Napoleon, Hitler, Stalin or Mao could ever dream of.

We’re walking into a brutal dictatorship…well I should say everyone else is…cause I’m getting the hell out of dodge.

cincycinco June 26, 2013 at 9:43 am

Just a sideshow to get us off Benghazi.

Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain…

OldTimer June 26, 2013 at 11:09 am

I think the debate about Global warming should be shifted to see just who is doing the greenhouse emissions. From what I can see after a brief search is China does 23.50% of CO2 emissions vs. the USA’s 18.27%. Then I compared the size of the GDP. The USA is twice the size. So at that rate China should be emitting half of what the USA is doing or just 9% vs their present 23% So with Obama’s special gift of speech he should learn Chinese and go over there and get them to get their emissions under control. After all he is talking about Global warming not just warming of the Western Hemisphere.

Kem Cho June 26, 2013 at 1:59 pm

I thought Obama’s speech will be terrific, if you substitute Climate Change with Social Security and Medicare.

Not Nabob the Flat Earther June 26, 2013 at 8:06 pm

Member since 1954.

Nick Kraus July 9, 2013 at 4:19 pm

Global Warming is still a theory but Mr Obama wants people to accept it as fact. Even though there is data to show otherwise.