As of now, I am in control here, in the White House

Hollywood to Produce Hillary Hagiography

The sophisticated Hillary 2016 machine is ramping up – courtesy of its Hollywood allies – with a full length feature movie about the beautiful young Hillary Clinton and her intrepid pursuit of the evildoer Richard Nixon.

Hillary, you may be aware, was on the staff of the House Judiciary Committee that ultimately impeached Nixon. I’ve never seen any suggestion she played more than a bit role in the affair. Wikipedia states that she “helped research procedures of impeachment and the historical grounds and standards for impeachment.”

But that won’t concern Hollywood. Among those being considered to play Clinton are several stunning actresses, including Jessica Chastain, Reese Witherspoon, and Scarlett Johansson. No doubt she’ll be portrayed discovering that one clue needed to impeach Nixon, even as shadowy figures and jealous rivals try to derail her vital work.

There are reports circulating now that she was actually fired from her job, though I can’t substantiate them. If it’s true and it makes the movie, no doubt her dismissal will have been engineered by some malignant Republican desperate to save Nixon by thwarting our noble heroine.

I’m thinking a better movie might have been made – kind of an action-buddy flick with Chelsea – about her brave bullet dodging in Bosnia as first lady.

Stay tuned for an inevitable flick about Joe Biden saving the nation from Judge Bork.

78 Responses to Hollywood to Produce Hillary Hagiography

  1. Keith, I’ll admit I had to look up “hagiography” I thought it was a documentary about a hag………Come to think of it. I like my definition better than Webster’s.

      • Boo Hag maybe….
        According to the legend, Boo Hags are similar to vampires. Unlike vampires, they gain sustenance from a person’s breath, as opposed to their blood, by riding their victims.
        They have no skin, and thus are red. In order to be less conspicuous, they will steal a victim’s skin and use it for as long as it holds out, wearing it as one might wear clothing. They will remove and hide this skin before going riding.

  2. Did I just see these words “the beautiful young Hillary Clinton”?
    Excuse me, but she has been homely from the get go!
    Look us some of the pictures of her when Slick Willie was governor of Arkansas. Brown, mousey hair, no make-up, big glasses and plain as home made sin…..then look again during his campaign for president…head band, long stringy hair and black leggings to hide the piano legs…a “Make Over” was done and it lasted for years.
    As Secretary of State she mostly looked tired, bedraggled, and fat.
    Maybe I am too critical but I do not think so!

    • “Anne, please turn around and place your hands on the wall……( Is there anyone you’d like us to notify that you’ve been arrested?……No…No lawyers….”

    • LOL. You shredded her to pieces. I’ve seen her earlier pictures and definitely homely looking. What she lacks in physical looks, she makes it up in cunning, deceit and some smarts.

  3. She will be 69 years old when she is running for President, but she is counting on the low info voters thinking that the young chick up on the big screen is really her in 2016. If it’s true that she was fired, the storyline will portray her being attacked by none other than Haldeman and Erlichman personally.

  4. Oh good. Perhaps Michael Bolton can do all the music for this “movie”, seeing how “he’d walk across the country to get Hillary elected.”

    Another Hollywood flick with no substance. Yawn.

  5. Michelle Obama’s Mirror has suggestions of who else could play Clinton like “Bobby Redford . . . he was born to play an old lesbian.”

  6. I’ve been enjoying reading the casting call articles for this movie. Seems like all the beautiful young actresses in Hollywood are coveting this role …. to demonstrate their “range” and it has award bait all over it!

    Like the liberal version of Sarah Palin, this too will be a “fictional” account of how Hillary is perceived by Hollywood.

  7. It’s not fair. Just because she’s powerful and famous is no reason to chonicle her life instead of mine. I’m much more interesting that she is.

    the opening scene of “An Interesting Life”; we watch with bated breath as the 16yr old srdem struggles to pass the driver’s test 3-point turn in a car with a “stick shift”. Success! the music cresendos as the newly minted driver drives away, blowing off the Stop sign at the exit of the testing facility. Local police see the violation and take off after the new driver.
    Violins play in the background as the new driver gets a traffic ticket.

    It gets even better as srdem travels through life, dodging the loan company that wants to repossess the Buick, failing to sell just one atomic bomb fallout shelter, and later in life finding the success that we all dream about.
    Oscar material, for sure.

  8. No doubt Jerry Zeifman won’t be asked to collaborate on this epic saga. He kept a diary of the Judiciary Committee goings on in 1974, and is no fan of Shrillary. In fact he fired her from the committee after Nixon proffered his resignation. Why was she fired?

    “Because she was a liar,” Zeifman said in an interview last week. “She was an unethical, dishonest lawyer. She conspired to violate the Constitution, the rules of the House, the rules of the committee and the rules of confidentiality.”

    • Hillary got a job working on the investigation at the behest of her former law professor, Burke Marshall, who was also Sen. Ted Kennedy’s chief counsel in the Chappaquiddick affair.

  9. “You know, I’m not sitting here like some little woman standing by my man, like Tammy Wynette. I’m sitting here because I love him, and I respect him, and I honor what he’s been through and what we’ve been through together. And you know, if that’s not enough for people, then heck, don’t vote for him.”