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Obama’s Top Ten Other “Red Lines”

The “red line” President Obama drew over Syria’s use of chemical weapons is only the most famous of a roster of red lines he has drawn during his presidency.

White House Dossier has obtained a copy the list, written by Obama and stuffed in the top drawer of his desk.

We bring to you here the top ten of these red lines. Obama warns that there will be dire consequences if . . .

1. Netanyahu keeps telling lies about Iran’s peaceful nuclear program.

2. Holland makes its move against Denmark.

3. Bo continues to refuse to stand when I enter a room.

4. The White House chef forgets to include a pickle with my roast beef sandwich.

5. Harry Reid calls one more time to exclaim, “the war in Iraq is lost.”

6. Eric Cantor keeps saying Rihanna is hotter than Beyonce.

7. Sylvester Stallone decides to make “The Expendables 3”.

8. Biden asks me again to play strip Parcheesi with him.

9. Kim Jong Un keeps sending pizzas to the White House at 3 am.

10. Michelle continues to suggest requiring background checks for purchases of Ho Hos and Little Debbie snacks.

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Urgent: Are there any other Obama red lines that you are aware of?

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28 Responses to Obama’s Top Ten Other “Red Lines”

    • Whats the plot line, LS? They take on the evil AARP CEO? Attack Social Security HQ? Are they to be tortured with unsaturated fats?

      :>)

  1. according to my sources I also heard:
    there will be dire consequences if:
    * The NY Times reports anything negative about his golf game.
    * John Kerry keeps looking for his medals on the White House lawn.
    * Joe Biden brings a AR-15 to their daily lunches.
    * Reggie Love tries to block the President’s shot
    * The Chicago Whitesox doesn’t retire his number, “44” (currently used by Jake Peavy)
    * Michelle doesn’t arrange a 3 way with California’s Attorney General

    • “* Michelle doesn’t arrange a 3 way with California’s Attorney General” – Scottso

      You misinterpret is information about Obama’s interest in Ms. Harris. His rapture with her appearance is simply that he would LOVE to be able to dress like her HIMSELF. You know how some transvestites pattern after Bette Midler or Diana Ross? Like that.

      He’s just not into gals that OTHER way. Rahm and Reggie would get all green-eyed and stuff if he did. Fortunately, one look at “Mrs” Obama, Ms. Napolitano, Ms. Clinton, or Ms. Pelosi – or pretty much ANY Dem woman at close range – would be sufficient to quash ANY man’s enthusiam for women.

      This helps keep him “Straight”, as it were, with the guys…so no worries with that PARTICULAR “red line”.

  2. “3. Bo continues to refuse to stand when I enter a room.” – Keith Koffler

    Stand? The poor thing probably runs as fast as his little legs will carry him when Obama comes into the room, just to avoid the fate of the OTHER 93 “Bo(s)” that the Obama’s have had since he decided he needed a prop dog for The White House. It’s said that a dog can smell a person who has dined on dog before…

    Even if this is not THIS Bo’s IMMEDIATE fate, Obama seems the type that would look for SOMETHING smaller and weaker than himself to kick when he doesn’t get his way (like in the Gun Control vote, for example). He’d be a wife beater if Moochie didn’t have those manly arms, so SOMETHING’s got to pay…unless it’s Tuesday; in which case nothing relieves stress like a good drone strike…

    EIther way, I think Bo #94 would be up and gone when Hopey’s around. Lucky for HIM there’s golf courses…

  3. “12. Violaters of the “No Gurlz” sign at the bath house will be SEVERELY prosecuted, ESPECIALLY if he’s with Rahm…”

  4. “#13. There WILL be lawsuits against people who call him “Worst. President. Ever.” AFTER they’ve seen what Michelle’s Presidency is like…”

  5. “#15. You WILL be terminated if you tell him about ANY act of Islamic terrorisms BEFORE it’s too late to do anything about it.”

  6. The only REAL red line in Obama’s life has to do with golf – anybody messin’ with the country club lifestyle will see real Obama rage.

  7. Strip Parcheesi, haha, can’t better that one. Although that is with DOCTOR Biden It’s Strip Go Fish with Joe.

  8. 11. If my budget doesn’t get passed, I’ll order a double sequester.
    12. If I hear one more question on Benghazi or Fast and Furious, I’ll call in the drones.
    13. If you bitter clingers don’t stop harping on me, I’ll order Janet to increase the purchase of ammo three-fold.

    OK, so these seem to totally be his style.

  9. 16. Nutrisystem wants to name a new diet “Less Moo for You!”

    17. Biden gave me a referral to his hair plug guy

    18. Someone changed my HOME screen to White House Dossier

  10. There will be dire consequences if Jason Collins decides he is not gay after all. BUT if he marries Sandra Fluke then he is redeemed.