As of now, I am in control here, in the White House

No Jokes Tonight, Mr. President

It’s just too soon.

President Obama will appear Saturday evening at the annual White House Correspondents’ Association Dinner. Normally, the president tells jokes, sometimes pretty funny ones. But please, not tonight.

You’ve just completed memorial services for the victims of the Boston bombings and the West, Texas fertilizer plant explosion. The survivors and their broken bodies lie strewn throughout hospitals and rehabilitation centers in Massachusetts and Texas, wondering how to carry on without the limbs they’d always had and with pain they’d never imagined.

You are the leader of a nation that was just attacked, and the comforter of those whose lives were blown apart in the duel tragedies. It’s a serious task demanding the projection of seriousness.

You supposedly felt moved enough this week to, um, share a moment of silence with your photographer in the Oval Office. You can make some amends for this crassness event by staying classy tonight.

So let the hired help, Conan O’Brien, perform the simple task of amusing an already tipsy crowd giddy that they just met Kim Kardashian. You can say a little bit about the horrible past two weeks, deliver the usual nonsense about how much you respect the press and it’s crucial role in our society – while, meanwhile, your aides do their best to suppress and intimidate it – and then sit down and enjoy the dinner.

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36 Responses to No Jokes Tonight, Mr. President

  1. If he doesn’t reel off pre-written so-called jokes, he will be thumping for immigation changes or something. Is this tonight? I need booze. Just watch the sycophants in the audience bray with amusement.

  2. What an optimist! We wouldn’t expect anything less than jokes made at the expense of Repubs, conservatives, and FOXnews from our Preezy.
    He’ll be in fine form tonight, standing in front of the very people who got him into office by covering his faults and who make sure that nothing bad touches his hem that would besmirch his imagined legacy. He’ll assume that all the glitterati from the entertainment world sitting in the audience will applaud him no matter what he says, laugh at his mean-spiritied jokes, and adore him above all leaders
    Of course, he’ll also use this venue to promote his anti-constitutional agenda of gun-control and ignoring our laws wherever and whenever he deems suitable.
    .
    I’ve replenished my tea supplies,and have the Cheetos at the ready for tonight’s gala. ( A cleanup of orange stuff from the TV screen is a small price to pay).

    • Nice image there — for an on-color TV joke fest. (For those wondering, that is not a racist comment, rather a clarification on modern televisions and off-color jokes).

      Agreed that in light of the past weeks, some respectful decorum would be in order — and that’s far too much to ask of our Celebrity-in-Chief. We can guess some of his “Won-liners”: shots at GW Bush for his library event, Boehner for all those delayed passengers (due, BTW, to Obama’s sequester), and all those “dumb tax cuts” — brought about by Obama’s sequester.

      Undoubtedly, his speechwriters are putting together a fittingly warm and fuzzy ending to his performance which will have the media legs all-a-tingly tomorrow over his wonderfulness.

  3. “No Jokes Tonight, Mr. President” – Keith Koffler

    Impossible. When they intone “Ladies and Gentlemen, the Presidents of the United States” – and Obama walks out – THAT is a JOKE.

    It can’t be made otherwise. Sorry, Mr. Koffler…

  4. “Didya hear the one about what Suspect 2 said before he was Mirandized? (yucking) “Ammonium nitrate? Who knew?” (more yucking) I got a million of them, Folks!”

    Any President with class would say something politely greeting the guests and then sit down. Orator #1 will speak for 20-35 minutes.

    • “Orator #1 will speak for 20-35 minutes.” – RickW

      …But only with a TelePrompTer, right? Can you IMAGINE what dark and scary paths we would travel down if our Indonesian “leader” were to speak extemporaneously for a half-hour? BRRR!

      I don’t think even our beloved press “corpse” would be able to run THAT much cover for him…

      • Cincy, I, of course, assumed TOTUS would be attending. In fact, I understand “he” is receiving a quick Rust Oleum touchup of black and white to emulate formal teleprompter attire.

  5. It seems that the WHCD has become another “star studded” event with the rich and shameless being invited to attend so as to give the press a chance to rub elbows with the Hollywierd elite.

    Even Brokaw has spoken out against the association and it inviting of the left coast most idiotic (http://www.politico.com/story/2013/04/tom-brokaw-white-house-correspondents-dinner-90427.html).

    These past 4+ years seem to have caused the dinner to drift from what was its intent, a light hearted night of fun and the chance to see those that reporters wrote about in a more human light. Now it is just another gala with all the pomp and pimping that goes on with any red carpet affair.

    Perhaps it is time for Ed Henry to rethink the focus of the WHCD and put aside the fund raising philosophy and bring it back to what it was intended.

    Seem like the last that had any level of respectability was when Craig Ferguson was the featured act. Oh wait, GW Bush was still president that night. Seems to be a pattern.

    • Brokaw, I am sure by sheer coincidence – NOT, chose this year to show his displeasure with the WHCD. Note, how he shows no displeasure with the soft ball questions thrown at BHO, but waited until Ed Henry was president this year.

  6. Obama the Narcissist won’t be able to avoid jokes. What’s not to laugh about? Please note #7 on this list of DSM IV diagnostic markers for Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I’ve included the rest of the list for contextual support of the differential diagnostic reasons why the “President” should more properly be seeking treatment for his condition instead of yukking it up with his media fellow travelers, but #7 is the most germane to the topic at hand;;

    1. An exaggerated sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)

    2. Preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love

    3. Believes he is “special” and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)

    4. Requires excessive admiration

    5. Has a sense of entitlement

    6. Selfishly takes advantage of others to achieve his own ends

    7. Lacks empathy
    Translation: They are unwilling to recognize or sympathize with other people’s feelings and needs. They “tune out” when other people want to talk about their own problems.
    In clinical terms, empathy is the ability to recognize and interpret other people’s emotions. Lack of empathy may take two different directions: (a) accurate interpretation of others’ emotions with no concern for others’ distress, which is characteristic of psychopaths; and (b) the inability to recognize and accurately interpret other people’s emotions, which is the NPD style. This second form of defective empathy may (rarely) go so far as alexithymia, or no words for emotions, and is found with psychosomatic illnesses, i.e., medical conditions in which emotion is experienced somatically rather than psychically. People with personality disorders don’t have the normal body-ego identification and regard their bodies only instrumentally, i.e., as tools to use to get what they want, or, in bad states, as torture chambers that inflict on them meaningless suffering. Self-described narcissists who’ve written to me say that they are aware that their feelings are different from other people’s, mostly that they feel less, both in strength and variety (and which the narcissists interpret as evidence of their own superiority); some narcissists report “numbness” and the inability to perceive meaning in other people’s emotions.

    8. Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him

    9. Shows arrogant, haughty, patronizing, or contemptuous behaviors or attitudes

    http://www.halcyon.com/jmashmun/npd/dsm-iv.html

    Please note that you don’t have to have ALL of these to satisfy the clinical diagnosis of NPD, but Dear Leader – ever the overachiever – manages to do so anyway.

    Interestingly, NPD is unlikely to be included in DSM V. Why do you suppose that is? Remember, at one time, Emperor Caligula set the standard of sanity for Rome with himself as the exemplar…

    It’s only inappropriate joking if OBAMA says it’s inappropriate joking. To say otherwise automatically makes you a racist hater. Sorry, I don’t make the rules, I just see them for what they are.

      • I guess YOUR prof wasn’t like THIS one;

        “In a December 30th New York Times OpEd, Georgetown law professor Louis Michael Seidman calls to abolish the U.S. Constitution. He refers to its provisions as “archaic, idiosyncratic and downright evil.” In his piece, he argues that blind obedience to the Constitution is the major reason for the impasse Congress faces in attempting to fix America’s economic and fiscal chaos. “Instead of arguing about what is to be done, we argue about what James Madison might have wanted done 225 years ago.” Why in the world, he argues, should we follow the dictates of rich white men who knew nothing of our current current situation and instituted constitutional protections for slavery?”

        http://www.dailycensored.com/georgetown-law-professor-wants-to-abolish-theus-constitution/

        I think Obama may have gone to school with him, though. It would certainly explain a lot. It’s a little hard to tell, though, since all of Obama’s academic records and much of the rest of his past are sealed up tight, and no one in his supposed schools seems to remember him…

        • I keep thinking this is going to become major when they build his library. I bet, in interest of the economy, he will propose to skip the whole library idea. It would only be as empty as he.
          It was so wonderful to see the Bushes and the masses of people that turned out to honor them’
          Of course, all of the welfare folks would turn out to honor Obama. That’s a lot of “SNAPy” people.

  7. Oh, Obama will say or do something weird at the dinner, to be sure. He has a history or strange and bizarre responses and actions to events, and we’ll see that at the dinner.

  8. He forgot about all of the victims of the these two horrific events the minute he climbed the stairs of Air Force One. Do you think he thought about them for one minute while he was golfing today?

    • Wow they’ve been downgraded to events already? They at least
      grudgingly we’re called a tragedy before but if you’ve got no feelings doesn’t matter to you at all a President devoid of emotion.

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