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Top Ten Things Obama Might Say to Bush at his Library Dedication

President Obama Thursday plans to attend the dedication of the George W. Bush presidential library in Dallas.

Well, that might be uncomfortable, given that Obama has been badmouthing Bush since taking office, attributing most of his problems to the former president.

One can only imagine some of the things he might say. Here’s ten possibilities.

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1. George, can you get some more towels for the dispenser in the men’s room?

2. I know I’ve said a lot of bad things about you over the last four years. But I’m not going to say them today, because you’re here.

3. At the Obama library, no member of the middle class will have to pay a late fee for overdue books.

4. I guess you’re planning on building an additional wing later showcasing how I cleaned up your mess.

5. Not too impressed with the Cheney section. You should have put it in a secret, undisclosed location.

6. This is the great thing about America. That a man who can’t even read can have his own library.

7. I saw the section you had on appointing the first black secretary of state. Well, I can definitely do you one better.

8. I hope you realize I’m going to blame all the problems I have at my library on your library.

9. I think it’s nice that even if you are a bad president, you get a library.

10. Sucks not to have an exhibit about killing Bin Laden, doesn’t it?

*******

Any ideas that you have?

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51 Responses to Top Ten Things Obama Might Say to Bush at his Library Dedication

  1. What’s scary is that the person who penned this quips probably has them ready to go for the Gridiron Dinner next year in DC. I can hear Zero saying some of these things, and expecting to get a laugh, which he will from the lamestream media in attendance.

  2. I don’t think Obama’s own writers can do better than # 5 Why can’t I find the Cheney section? Is it in a secret, undisclosed location?

    To quote Kenny Bannya on Seinfeld, “That’s gold, Jerry!”

    Others:

    11) You have your own Sept 11th, section and I’ll have mine. What’s the Difference how many died.
    12) Finally Laura can get a real job as a librarian.
    13) I heard this place was built on schedule and under budget. I have no idea what either of those things mean.
    14) Let’s face it. Condi was no Beyonce.
    15) I see someone spilled coffee in the foreign policy section. Do I have to clean that up too?
    16) Hey, it’s really Good to see all of you Racists again.
    17) George, “Hail to the Chief” is my song. Your song was written by Greenday, “Hail to the Thief”.
    18) Where are the solar panels? Oh, the company in charge went out of business? Oops.. My bad.

    19) I’d like to give you as a present, an audiocopy of my biographies on an 8track tape.
    20) ‘Sup Colin?

  3. Over heard at the library:

    Obama: Boy, George. Bet you’re glad you didn’t have to put up with things like Hurricane Sandy and the Boston bombing. Those were a really b!tch!

    Obama: Hey George, are you actually going to let Netanyahu use the front door?

    Obama: George, nothing personal about all the smack talking over the past five years. It’s kinda like being out on the court with my peeps. We just give each other sh!t for the fun of it.

    Obama: Remember when Chaney shot that dude in the face? Can he go hunting with Biden?

    • “Obama: Boy, George…” – Shofar

      Boy George? Did he write this song 20 years ago for just this occasion?

      (Bush sings to the O at his dedication),

      “Do you really want to hurt me
      Do you really want to
      Make me cry”

      More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/b/boy_george/

      (Obama)

      Don’t be stupid. It’s nothing personal, George. I don’t really hate you – any more than I hate anyone else that’s White, rich, and American. Which, now that I think about it, is kind of a lot, but it’s not just for you.

      You’ve really been good to me as a whipping boy, though. Gives the sheep someone to hate, and I can do as I please with no consequences.

      Step away now, there’s cameras, and I don’t share…

  4. ‘Barack Hussein Obama’ = NO CLASS, NO RESPECT.
    Who the H#ll cares what ‘he’; that no leadership (NO “life story”)/neo-socialist/anti-USA/arrogant has to say…

    • What WILL the OBAMA Library look like, since we can’t talk about – or even KNOW about – anything he did before he was a Senator? Will the exhibit hall start there, or will there at LEAST be a copy of the statue they built of him as a youth in Indonesia?

      http://www.intellasia.net/indonesias-controversial-obama-statue-to-be-moved-120296

      Might be easy to get the orignial, though, as Indonesia doesn’t want it any more…

      I suppose the BIGGEST part of an Obama library would be The Victory Mosque. Muslim conquerers usually build these at or near the site of their greatest victory. This would probably mean The White House would have to be demolished for the Bammy Library/Mosque combo then.

      A special feature for Obama, though, would be the attached bath house (Men Only, preferably ripped, athletic ones). The ladies can stroll through the Michelle Obama Veggie Garden, just as soon as someone actually plants one, and purchase a souvenier ornament off one of the 72-odd “Christmas” trees that the Obamas never stayed in The White House to enjoy during the Christmas season. All proceeds will go to Organizing for Action, natch.

      Bear in mind, however, that the Obama Library will be closed to the general public until Congressional Republicans surrender all budgetary and non-budgetary authority to Obama. Until then, it will be for the private use and enjoyment of the Obama family only, plus Beyonce and Jay-Z, and other sufficently leftist celebreties such as George Clooney. These and others will be invited to taxpayer-funded soirées in the library, midst the paintings and statues picked up at the Hugo Chavez estate sale and “Memories of Cuba” knick-knacks, but no others may presume.

      Talk to your congressman if you don’t like it, peasant.

      And, of course, it will have a Catherdral of Hate dedicated to…George Bush. He will be depicted something like this;

      “The statue in the center of all this monstrosity that was a statue of George Bush, and an unflattering one. Fifty feet tall if it was an inch, there was not an inch of it that wasn’t crammed with insult to its subject matter, and fifty feet of that sort of thing would be enough to make any subject feel bad. From the small pimple on the side of his nose to the poorish cut of his dressing gown, there was no aspect of George Bush that wasn’t lambasted and vilified by the sculptor.

      George appeared as a gorgon, an evil, rapacious, ravening, bloodied ogre, slaughtering his way through an innocent Universe.

      With each of the thirty arms that the sculptor in a fit of artistic fervor had decided to give him, he was either braining a rabbit, swatting a fly, pulling a wishbone, picking a flea out of his hair, or doing something equally vile.

      His many feet were mostly stamping on ants. ”

      (Apologies to Douglas Adams, “Life, The Universe, and Everything).

      I can hardly wait. Of course, the BEST thing about it would be that suchlike are build AFTER a President retires. So that would be a GREAT source of joy to us all.

      Let’s encourage that!

  5. … I saw your Katrina section and it’s still a mess.
    … I thought Beyonce would be here?
    … You have a nice finger paint exhibit.

  6. Fantastic top ten, Keith. Bravo to my fellow WHD posters too. The irony is that Preezy Revenge is a typical narcissistic poser. He’ll throw nonstop verbal bombs at Bush behind his back, but when they meet face to face the little weasel will feign politeness and respect. He might talk like a big shot, but he carries a little stick.

  7. 11. OMG, those drones are way more fun than waterboarding.
    12. So, I gotta ask…….Don’t you just love the inside of AF1?
    13. How on earth did you manage to get up so early every morning, George?
    14. What do you mean the media has been nasty to you? They’ve been excellent to work with.
    15. This is a gun free zone isn’t it? 90% of the population is with me on this gun control stuff you know.
    16. Did you invite any fun people to hang with?

  8. I think its only fair that we consider something Bush might say to Obama:

    “Barack, Laura and I wanted to make a donation to your library. Here’s a pressure cooker. We both autographed it”

  9. #11 – I just saw the design of MY new library, they figured out where to put the 18 hold golf course and the indoor basketball court.

    #12 – You may have a lacking Chaney section, but wait to you see my Reggie and Rahm wing!

    #13 – Thanks to the new immigration policy my library will get free landscaping and lawn care

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