The White House announced Friday that indeed, it too will be facing the sequester cuts. White House Dossier has obtained an exclusive list of the ten most painful cuts the White House will incur:
1. Obama to begin drinking Poland Spring instead of Fiji water.
2. Biden’s nanny no longer paid to work weekends.
3. Blue Room and Green Room to be painted eggshell white.
4. Mrs. Robinson – Michelle’s mother – doesn’t have to pay rent, but she must cover utilities.
5. Secret Service to be equipped with double barrel shotguns.
6. Obama family forced to walk the dog at least once a day.
7. Lobster tails no longer permitted for breakfast. Drawn butter will remain.
8. Michelle’s planned trip to Phuket, Thailand to “research healthy foods” cancelled.
9. Situation Room no longer open to B-List Hollywood stars. A-List may continue to use at their leisure.
10. Rented Oval Office bust of Raul Castro to be sent back to Cuba.
Please let us know if, through your own investigative reporting, you have found any additional cuts that will be made.