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Top Ten Secret Obama Requirements for Path to Citizenship

Not to stir up trouble, but White House Dossier has uncovered a private White House list of President Obama’s requirements for granting illegal immigrants a “path to citizenship.” Apparently, it’s not a stringent as some people think, and some of it appears either silly or designed to mint new Democratic voters.

With the realization that this could create an uproar and shatter the emerging bipartisan “consensus” on immigration reform, White House Dossier presents Obama’s secret top ten requirements for a path to citizenship.

1. Must be able to lip sync the national anthem.

2. Must know difference between a Big Mac and a Quarter Pounder.

3. Must attest that you have read the Constitution, the Declaration of Independence, and “Dreams from my Father.”

4. Must be willing to support a Constitutional amendment allowing third term for a president.

5. Must present proof of being disliked by the French.

6. You don’t have to learn English, but you must promise never to oprima numero dos para español.

7. Must have children who play soccer but refuse to watch it on TV.

8. Must attest that you support asylum for Aunt Zeituni.

9. Must agree to stop putting Tabasco sauce in everything.

10. Must be willing to vote Democratic, even after you have died.

28 Responses to Top Ten Secret Obama Requirements for Path to Citizenship

  1. 11. Must agree to raise the level of political discourse above the level of the evil, violent, stupid, coniving, malevolent, dastardly, uneducated, moronic, racist, sexist, want-to-kill-grandparents-and-children reTHUGlicans.

  2. 12) Must be willing to say you have been skeet shooting in your former country and plan to resume it here in the US if you are granted citizenship.

  3. 11. Must agree to never allow their children to run up to a car stopped at a light and clean the windshield for money.

    12, Must agree to keep cock fighting a secret, and not get caught by the SPCA.

    13. Must disavow the Catholic Church’s stand regarding Obamacare and birth control.

    14. Must be willing to have at least five (5) children, and promise to raise them Democrats.

    15. All persons over the age of 18 will be required to join the Obama civilian, internal security department for at least two years.

    16. If living in California, must swear to never vote for an actor again.

    17. Promise and swear to send Michelle a low cal recipe for flan that can be used on the Let’s Move web site, and will not disclose under penalty of deportation that that you sent it to her.

  4. I don’t think too many illegal aliens actually want to go to all the trouble to be American citizens, they just don’t want to be arrested and deported.

  5. 11. Don’t be White. We don’t really welcome that here anymore. You know what your ancestors did, shame on you!

    Oh, and keep that Christian or Jewish thing to yourself, if you know what’s good for you. Otherwise, get out of the way if a Muslim wants in…

  6. 101. Must never watch FoxNews or any ‘news’ other than those approved of
    by the Reich Obama Media Center. Note don’t try and cheat we’re watching
    you.. Really.

  7. This administration has no intention of enforcing any conditions. Most importantly,
    Obama/Holder/Napolitano are geared up to have every illegal registered to vote by the
    next election. Without a strict requirement to show proof of citizenship to register to
    vote, illegals will control all future elections. Republicans get dumber every day – which
    isn’t easy to do!

  8. Leave Tabasco out of it. That is a Louisiana hot sauce, and the ONLY hot sauce in my opinion. I am a WASP, 3rd gen Texan, and die-hard Tabasco user. Love your blog!

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