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The Feel-Good Anti-Gun Campaign

by Keith Koffler on January 14, 2013, 6:11 pm

I thought this cartoon from our friends at Terrell AfterMath was pithy:

guns out the door

This is why you heard President Obama today repeating what will be the slogan for the White House gun control effort: “If there is a step we can take that will save even one child from what happened in Newtown, we should take that step.”

That has to be the theme, because whatever steps are taken to control guns won’t save many more than one child, and they might end up getting more than one child killed.

Guns are already prolific in this society, and gun control is often little more than closing the stable door after the horse has bolted. But it will sure does make left-wing politicians feel good, and it gives them a chance to stick it to those who cling to their guns.

If we are really going to make policy based on whether it might save one child, here are some ideas for the White House:

1. Mandatory jail sentences for drunk driving.

2. Mandatory jail sentences for texting while driving.

3. Mandatory jail sentences for driving.

4. A no-fly zone over Syria

5. A ban on backyard pools

6. A ban on monkey bars.

7. A ban on baby walkers – yes, they can kill. About one child per year.

8. Cut ethanol and other farm subsidies that raise the price of food and increase the chances of starvation.

9. Outlaw the use of bicycles by children.

10. Invade North Korea, where millions have died because of government policies.

See? Now we’re talking.


lc southern January 14, 2013 at 6:23 pm

I would support #1

Keith Koffler January 14, 2013 at 7:04 pm

I would too.

veritaseequitas January 14, 2013 at 6:29 pm

A ban on abortion. That would save many more than one child.

Scottso January 14, 2013 at 8:48 pm

actually partial-birth abortions which Obama wouldn’t vote to ban them.

SUSANM January 16, 2013 at 9:58 pm



sportinlife10 January 14, 2013 at 6:52 pm

Okay, Keith, you rock.

Keith Koffler January 14, 2013 at 9:23 pm


rulierose January 14, 2013 at 6:55 pm

WAAY too logical, Keith. they’d never go for it. they’ll want a maximum clip size of 2 biodegradable bullets and a 5-year waiting period–THAT’LL fix it!

srdem65 January 14, 2013 at 6:58 pm

They overestimated the will of the country and underestimated how much Americans cling to their constitutional rights.
MrO and his supporters all seem to find polls that agree with their position on gun control as if it were a mandate for them to act upon, but ignore four years of polls that show a majority of Americans want Obamacare reapealed.

Guns, fast cars, 4th of July, and apple pie=Americans.

rulierose January 14, 2013 at 7:34 pm

I don’t know, SR. I would’ve agreed with you on November 5. but after that election, watching people sleepwalk to the polls to reelect a disastrous president–I just don’t know WHAT my fellow citizens are thinking or how much will they still possess. I’m not even sure most Americans could even NAME their “constitutional rights.” (I bet a majority of low-info Obama voters think “free health care” is one of them.)

Langley Spook January 14, 2013 at 8:22 pm

The stoopidity of Obama ‘voters’ knows no limits.

Its all “bread & circuses” nowadays anyway…

James Crawford January 14, 2013 at 7:44 pm

According to the FBI:

Twenty-five thousand children 11 and younger were murdered.

Only four thousand of these young children were murdered with guns.

James Crawford January 14, 2013 at 8:18 pm

These murders were from 1980 through 2010

Not Nabob January 14, 2013 at 8:35 pm

While we are at it, let’s outlaw Democrats. Because they are really the ones killing us.

Scottso January 14, 2013 at 8:46 pm

With all seriousness:

According to the CDC the biggest cause of death among children 1-4 (after birth defects and suffocation) is: Drowning. 1/2 of these took place in swimming pools. Blacks have a higher drowning rate than whites or hispanics.

The Number 1 cause of death among children 5-18, Motor Vehicles accident.
about 7,800 children died in 2010 5-18 years old in a MV accident.
4,100 children 5-18 died by firearm accident/homicide. However if you add suicide by firearm the total number jumps to 6,200.

Draw your own conclusions…

Shofar January 14, 2013 at 10:24 pm

How about outlawing all street drugs, things like crack, coke, heroin, pot, hash, meth and all the other things that teens get hooked on and end up dying in the street from.

Oh, wait. We’ve been doing that for how many generations. How’s that War on Drugs doing politicians?

Jeff1000 January 15, 2013 at 4:35 am

Ban Marxism.

TimG January 15, 2013 at 6:39 am

Excellent Keith!

#11 Brain scans and psyche evaluations to ensure that those planning to breed do not posess a predisposition to kill their own children.

If we sterilize one future killer we could save one child!

MarjoJimbo January 15, 2013 at 6:57 am

No, that is so politically incorrect. My state is still dealing with eugenics. There is an entire agency devoted to it.

How about we hire psychics who can look into the future and determine who are the best candidates for parenthood.

TimG January 15, 2013 at 7:06 am

Ah yes the psychic breeding panel to be appointed by politicians who, you can be sure, think they know what is best for us.

Just2old January 15, 2013 at 10:13 am

Outlaw the use of toys and breathing by children

In 2009, choking and suffocation accounted for one-third of all toy-related fatalities reported to the U.S. Consumer Product Safety

Star January 15, 2013 at 11:06 am

How will they know if something saves “one child”? How do they know the rules we already have are not saving a thousand people a day? Do they really think they can enact some half-baked ideas and compare deaths a year from enactment and find one less death? Or any less?

James Montgomery January 15, 2013 at 11:23 pm

It occurred to me that hunters win 95% of the time. It doesn’t matter if everyone is armed.None would be protected. The hunter wins. Ask any military man who planned a raid any honest hunter,any war game player. The target is studied,his routine mapped out . He who is hunting has the advantage period.