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Daily Archives: January 5, 2013, 1:37 pm

Top Ten Reasons 85 Republicans Backed the Fiscal Cliff Bill

After extensive interviews in the Speaker’s lobby just off the floor of the House, White House Dossier was able to ascertain why 85 House Republicans voted for Fiscal cliff legislation that raised taxes but did almost nothing to cut spending.

What follows, based on these interviews, are the top ten reasons why some Republicans supported the legislation:

1. Obama threatened to take away their chocolate pudding

2. Pelosi told Republicans they had to pass the bill in order to find out what’s in it.

3. Grover Norquist reduced supporters’ penalty from a primary challenge to a brief spanking.

4. Last minute calls from Michelle promising to cut federal spending by taking three vacations this year instead of four.

5. Measure includes coded language handing the election to Romney.

6. Democrats arranged to allow deceased members of Congress to vote, including moderate Republicans.

7. Chris Christie, who took Obama’s side in the battle, defeated Eric Cantor in a hot dog eating contest.

8. Biden threatened to put Republicans “back in chains” – and make each one listen to him for an hour.

9. The bill includes new tax on character assassination by Obama against political opponents, which may raise more money than expected.

10. Republicans finally decided, “Yeah, stick it the rich, they didn’t build that!”


Have you done any reporting on this? Are there any reasons you’ve heard about? Or, in all seriousness, WHAT’S YOUR EXPLANATION? Because, I don’t have one.