As of now, I am in control here, in the White House

Monthly Archives: January 2013

Beyonce Admits She Lip Synced the National Anthem

She said she practiced until her feet bled, but decided to use the recording anyway.

I’m not sure how her singing caused her feet to bleed, but she should definitely have this checked out.

What I’m still trying to figure out is, if she wasn’t singing, why did she pull the earpiece out of her ear midway through the song? Was that to, say, GIVE US THE WRONG IMPRESSION?

Alright, enough writing. I might break an ankle.

Top Ten Secret Obama Requirements for Path to Citizenship

Not to stir up trouble, but White House Dossier has uncovered a private White House list of President Obama’s requirements for granting illegal immigrants a “path to citizenship.” Apparently, it’s not a stringent as some people think, and some of it appears either silly or designed to mint new Democratic voters. With the realization that… Continue Reading

Michelle Tweets Cabbage to Show Support for Let’s Move

First Lady Michelle Obama tweeted a photo of some cabbage and broccoli and a link to a recipe on the Let’s Move website to demonstrate that she still maintains an interest in her kids health initiative. The tweet came just hours after an article¬†was posted in White House Dossier Tuesday noting that Michelle appeared to… Continue Reading

Actual Beyonce National Anthem Recording Uncovered

White House Dossier has gotten ahold of the actual singing Beyonce did at the Inauguration. Her true rendition of the National Anthem could be heard by those on the podium with her. It turns out the prerecording was broadcast to the TV audience and the rest of those in attendance at the Inauguration because Beyonce… Continue Reading

Carney: Republicans to Blame for Slack GDP

White House Press Secretary Jay Carney, the spokesman for the blame-free administration, suggested today the Republicans were at fault for the sudden CONTRACTION in GDP, asserting the the economy faces “headwinds” created by the GOP. Let’s be clear. That GDP contracted by 0.1 percent in the fourth quarter of 2012 reflects concern about the Fiscal… Continue Reading