Updated 10:25 pm ET
Though the White House has refused to release much information about today’s lunchtime meeting between President Obama and Gov. Mitt Romney, White House Dossier was able to implant a microphone in Romney’s hair this morning and listen to the whole thing.
While a thick coating of hairspray interfered with the recording, WHD was able to pick up much of the conversation, including many surprising remarks by the president.
What follows are the top ten things Obama said to Romney during today’s meal.
1. Would you like to split the check?
2. Sorry about destroying your reputation.
3. The Postmaster General job will be opening up. Why don’t you leave your resume?
4. Would you like your milk on the rocks?
5. I guess your Mormon God couldn’t stop Hurricane Sandy, could he?
6. I do have an assignment for you. I want you to go to Lichtenstein immediately and see what you can do to improve relations.
7. I guess I can tell you now. Clint Eastwood was working for me.
8. How’s your Big Mac?
9. It’s amazing what Chris Christie will do for a chocolate milkshake.
10. You know, the more time dogs spend on the roofs of cars, the tastier they are.
Please help us with our reporting and let us know if you are aware of anything else Obama said to Romney today, or vice versa!