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Top Ten Remarks Obama Made to Romney at Lunch

Updated 10:25 pm ET

Though the White House has refused to release much information about today’s lunchtime meeting between President Obama and Gov. Mitt Romney, White House Dossier was able to implant a microphone in Romney’s hair this morning and listen to the whole thing.

While a thick coating of hairspray interfered with the recording, WHD was able to pick up much of the conversation, including many surprising remarks by the president.

What follows are the top ten things Obama said to Romney during today’s meal.


1. Would you like to split the check?

2. Sorry about destroying your reputation.

3. The Postmaster General job will be opening up. Why don’t you leave your resume?

4. Would you like your milk on the rocks?

5. I guess your Mormon God couldn’t stop Hurricane Sandy, could he?

6. I do have an assignment for you. I want you to go to Lichtenstein immediately and see what you can do to improve relations.

7. I guess I can tell you now. Clint Eastwood was working for me.

8. How’s your Big Mac?

9. It’s amazing what Chris Christie will do for a chocolate milkshake.

10. You know, the more time dogs spend on the roofs of cars, the tastier they are.


Please help us with our reporting and let us know if you are aware of anything else Obama said to Romney today, or vice versa!


20 Responses to Top Ten Remarks Obama Made to Romney at Lunch

  1. 11. You’d be amazed at the Big F’ing Deals that Joe got at COSTCO today.
    12. Between me and you, I wouldn’t eat the radishes. Their from Michelle’s garden and haven’t been washed.
    13. I need a new ambassador in Libya. Any interest?
    14. Good to see you Mitch…
    15. Let me give you some advice. Always bet on black.
    16. Oh you don’t gamble?? That was for real? And you don’t drink? WTF? No wonder why I kicked your butt.

  2. 11) How do you cut deals without nicotine or alcohol?
    12) I’m the icecream man and all my flavors & favors are guaranteed!
    13) Where in Utah could I hide a mountain of debt?
    14) If you don’t say nice things about me I’ll have the IRS go medieval on ya!

  3. “1. Would you like to split the check?” – Barry Soetoro

    This is obviously a false quote. The taxpayers are already picking the check up, as they do everything Obama wants, has, and needs; therefore, he could care less about the check, and may not even know that there is one.

    Were this NOT the case, he would in no wise offer to “split” anyway. He’d just find some pretext to stomp off to be with “‘Shell and the kids”, as he did with Bibi Netanahu, and leave Romeny with the whole thing.

    He says, “You didn’t build that!”. Well, no matter what it is in his life, personal or “professional”, the appropriate rejoinder would be “YOU didn’t buy that!”

  4. “Governor, remember that crazy ‘47% that would never vote for you” remark. Well, it was actually 51%! Hahahahaha!”

    “Tell me how you keep the grey hair only at the temples? That’s not the real deal is it. Think you could hook me up with your hairdresser, er uh, barber?”

  5. I know a fly on the wall who heard the following from Obama:
    1. It looks like that 47 percent thing was more like over 50 percent.
    2. If you really wanted to win you shoulda lied like me.
    3. Your just too white , Mitt!
    4.You should try wearing one of those hidden mikes next debate like I did.
    5. You shoulda picked Rubio.
    6. Don’t put your feet up on the furniture,Mitt. Only I can do that.
    7. Mitt, never underestimate the power of a woman who doesn’t want a baby.
    8.Your kids are also too white Mitt.
    9. We worked on Ann we tried, damn she is just too good . No dirt there.
    AND 10. No one is ever gonna feel as good about electing an old white guy as they will about electing a poor young black man. So Mitt you were screwed from the beginning.
    THEN Mitt was heard saying. I’m just curious Barack,, how are you gonna blame this escalating nightmare on me 4 years from now?