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Obama Runs Out of Metaphors!

by Keith Koffler on October 1, 2012, 3:57 pm

Washington DC – URGENT – Just days before his highly anticipated debate with challenger Mitt Romney, President Obama has completely run out of metaphors.

Obama and his campaign in recent days have been putting out word that while they expect Romney to launch some zingers during Wednesday night’s encounter, Obama himself will stick to policy and reasoned explanations of “the facts.”

But White House Dossier can now reveal that the true reason Obama has decided not to say anything clever is that he and his speechwriting team are stuck on the same metaphors.

Have a look and a listen.

The lack of metaphors could be a devastating handicap for the president, as the debates are often remembered for a single line or two out of thousands uttered during the 90-minute affairs.

A Romney spokesman said it was hard to understand why Obama was out of metaphors, given that he’s been able to put Romney on the ropes and is looking to land a knockout punch. The spokesman added that Romney is hardly down for the count and will use the debates to get back on his feet and ultimately take the Belt from Obama.

{ 14 comments }

Star October 1, 2012 at 4:02 pm

That’ll happen when all the Slurpees, ditches, tonsil-yanking docs, women-haters, old people killers, impoverished zesty young women, and just about every dumb thing in America disappears.

Sara B October 1, 2012 at 4:10 pm

Let’s just hope Romney is punching above the weight the pollsters have him at! Oblamo will be up a creek without a paddle!

srdem65 October 1, 2012 at 4:27 pm

Love that guy. I think his American brother narrated an educational film on personal sanitation in the food industry I was forced to watch, once.

We all know MrO re-cycles his best speech lines from years past, so it’s not surprising that he can’t find some new phrase to describe alliances with European nations that don’t give a fig about what happens to us.

BH October 1, 2012 at 4:57 pm

I doubt he has, at least at home here with the folks who have nothing better to do than sit home all day watching for what the “Kardashians” do next and sucking on the taxpayers “tit”…..Guess he figured that the Scandinavian countries don’t “talk” amongst themselves and he’s trying to sell us the same “bill of goods”. Just wish that Romney would start using some “plain English” and come out swinging for the “fences” instead of jetting around acting like a spoiled and petulant brat. But I guess that the “Etch a Sketch” (dissapearing mistakes) that works for the Liberals doesn’t bode so well for Conservatives due to the fawning of the Liberal Mainstream Press……

RT Boogs October 1, 2012 at 7:37 pm

Hi BH – The list of metaphors runs deep in both parties…lol… No one will come up short on this accord – no one. How can a candidate best make a point that resonates with voters? Ya got to connect the dots with something the (a) great unwashed liberal, blood-sucking, commie card carrying slackers can relate to – like “the Free Lunch is On!” or (b) their counterparts, the couldn’t care less, get my share, wet my beak, 3 issues at max, vote my pocketbook conservatives – “a prize in every box, and we make the prizes, and the boxes, and control the price”….

In business we would say – find the pain, offer a plan to fix it that make sense, fill the need, be responsive and thankful. We’ll see which candidate can frame the debate as it applies to the pain statement and associated solutions…

Hey, no biggie, I think you meant taxpayers “teat”, not that tit does not work. Just sayin’. On that note I have a date and need to shower. Where’s that wash cloth…. The taxpayer milk pipeline is just dripping down my chin, I can not drink fast enough.

P.S. Can I make an appointment at the Emergency Room for my free medical care or can I just walk right in? The lines are killing me, food stamps, welfare, school lunches, etc… I may get literate just filling out all the forms! Wait, I’ve an idea I need to explore to help with our education system… LINKAGE of HEALTHCARE & EDUCATION! Yes!

Julie Brueckheimer October 1, 2012 at 7:21 pm

Dick Morris says that he’s outspending Romney on TV ads although he supposedly is running out of money too. He owes on the Democratic convention and is in hock to the SEIU.

Susan October 1, 2012 at 7:35 pm

Most of the protestors who follow Romney/Ryan on the campaign trail are SEIU employees or paid by SEIU handlers. I can imagine $11 an hour for each Obot puts a dent in his campaign coffer.

Julie Brueckheimer October 1, 2012 at 10:13 pm

A lot of people are going to be owed a lot of money which will never be paid back.

D. Baker October 2, 2012 at 3:22 am

EVERYONE IN THIS WHOLE WORLD LOVES PRESIDENT OBAMA AND HE HAS SUCCESSFULLY UNITED ALL NATIONS IN PEACE, UNITY AND LOVE BECAUSE HE IS FROM HIS FATHER GOD ALMIGHTY. HE IS VERY CHRISTLIKE, LOVING , PEACEFUL AND I LOVE HIM A GREAT AMOUNT SO DOES GOD ALMIGHTY OF THE UNIVERSE

ImNoDhimmi October 2, 2012 at 8:38 am

Please, seek out psychiatric help. You really, really need it.

Susan October 2, 2012 at 9:51 am

Jeremiah 14:14

Langley Spook October 2, 2012 at 7:05 am

Here’s a CRAZY idea… why dont “politicians” (Dem/Rep) just speak PLAIN ENGLISH!
If you see B.S. call it B.S., If you dont have an ‘answer’, say you dont have an answer. I guess this wouldnt work because “politicans” would then have to tell some “truth” and “know” what they are talking about.

jukin October 2, 2012 at 12:34 pm

IIRC, all countries also “Puched above their weight.”

regina October 2, 2012 at 3:04 pm

just when you think it can’t get worse… it always does and why do i keep thinking it can’t.