I’m sorry, I hope I didn’t make you spit out your coffee. Or your whiskey sour. I mean, it’s just about cocktail hour here on the East Coast.
But this is what White House Press Secretary Jay Carney tried to piously suggest today in response Mitt Romney’s assertion that he couldn’t reach 47 percent of voters who rely on some form of government handouts and were surely Obama supporters.
President Obama, Carney intoned, is “president of all the people” and does what’s best for them without focusing on one groups or another.
Of course, Carney had to be joking. But get this – the White House press corps was so rude – nobody laughed at all! I mean, they sat there stone faced as Carney delivered all his best lines.
When you’re president of the United States, you are president of all the people, and not just the people who voted for you” Carney said. You’ve heard the president say so many times, because he deeply believes it, that we’re in this together, all of us . . . What unites us as Americans is far greater than the things that divides us.
Carney was clearly making fun of Obama for the continuous stream of class warfare emanating from the president’s mouth. What unites us, of course, is resentment of those who don’t realize that they’ve reached the point where they’ve made enough money, as Obama once put it.
Carney was just warming up, but I thought I already had almost broken a rib, I was laughing so hard. Lucky I wasn’t in the briefing room, since it seems like I was the only reporter getting the joke.
Carney, whose monologue is going to be rebroadcast next week on Comedy Central, next delivered this:
You’ve heard this from the president It does not matter to him whether they’re Republican, Democratic or independent , because we’re all in this together.
OMG, I thought, you’re totally killing me! I mean, everyone remembers Obama’s admonition to Hispanics to “punish your enemies” at the polls. I was in a state of delirium, and then Carney laid this one on me:
When he fought to pass healthcare reform, he didn’t wonder whether 129 million American with pre-existing who would be helped by this reform . . . were likely to be with him or against hin in 2012 – that’s just not how he thinks.
Good one. I mean, let’s be honest here, how many Republicans don’t have health insurance?
I’d calmed down a bit but was still kind of giggling when I heard this:
He didn’t ask whether auto workers were supporters. He didn’t ask whether auto executives were supporters. He did what was right.
Stop, stop, stop, stop! This was the very same bailout that put Obama’s friends in the autoworker unions in front of GM’s creditors, a reversal of where they would have been had Obama just let the automakers go bankrupt and reemerge without such ruinous union contracts.
Asked about the President of All the People’s contention four years ago that a portion of All the People were bitterly clinging to their Bibles and guns, Carney seemed annoyed that someone would interrupt his act.
“That happened four years ago and was discussed in abundance at the time,” he complained.
Gosh, some reporters have no sense of humor at all.