What was that speech supposed to be?
Even the usual cast of media characters who have been weeping with appreciation following speeches throughout the Democratic convention seemed distinctly nonplussed.
This was not the speech Obama needed to give.
KNOCK KNOCK! IS ANYBODY HOME IN THE OBAMA SPEECHWRITING SHOP? Are these people on some kind of morphine drip? Talk about a group that needs to be out of work.
Did you not get the sense you’d heard all of this before, like, many times? Can’t these people write some new songs? This was like getting for Christmas a digitally remastered mix of an album you’ve been listening to for years.
Honestly, I’m not exaggerating, I fell asleep. About a third of the way through. Then I heard my son saying, “Dad, are you listening to this?” I woke up, walked around a little bit to get my blood going, and steeled myself for the rest of it.
This was nothing more than a particularly vacuous, standard-issue political speech by a politician trying mask a complete absence of substance with a plethora of slogans and promises.
The delivery was okay, I guess. He at least got the last portion of it right. Have you noticed, with these conventions speeches, they’re like a fireworks display. A steady stream of flourishes until that grand finale when rocket after rocket is sent up to keep the sky constantly ablaze.
Or like something else that moves in a crescendo and culminates with a finale. Okay, sorry, there may be children reading.
Anyway, Obama got the last part right, but the rest of it was just kind of a little above average. And he needed to be Casanova all night long.
Okay, I’ll stop.
Anyway, my point is, the man is running for president offering almost not a single idea about how he’s going to do what he wants to do. And I’m not even sure what he wants to do.
I mean, there were a couple of education proposals that I guess the Chinese will fund. He wants to raise taxes on those making more than $250,000 an year – we knew that.
Oh, here’s a proposal – turning economically disadvantaged little girls into Steve Jobs:
The little girl who’s offered an escape from poverty by a great teacher or a grant for college could become the next Steve Jobs, or the scientist who cures cancer, or the President of the United States, and it’s in our power to give her that chance.
Now there’s a solid, tangible proposal. Oh, and there are goals. Nice goals:
I’m asking you to rally around a set of goals for your country, goals in manufacturing, energy, education, national security, and the deficit; real, achievable plans that will lead to new jobs, more opportunity, and rebuild this economy on a stronger foundation.
Hey, I’m going to tell all my friends that I have a goal of making $1 million this year, and I’ll give them each a thousand dollars just for being there for me!
I’m sure they’ll be ecstatic. They’ll thank me and tell me they just knew I could do it.
Uh oh. What if they’re not idiots?
This is what the speech amounted to – trust me, I’ll do great things. We’ve gone from “Hope and Change” to “I Hope Things Change.”
We can help big factories and small businesses double their exports, and if we choose this path, we can create a million new manufacturing jobs in the next four years. You can make that happen.
Really? How are we going to do that?
By mysterious magic – okay, you cynics? Until Election Day, the Obama campaign is on a magical mystery tour.
Step right this way . . .