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Obama Says Tax on Wealthy is Really a Penalty

In an exclusive interview with White House Dossier early this morning at the White House, President Obama denied that he was proposing raising taxes on those making more than $250,000 per year, terming the idea a “penalty on success” instead.

“Isn’t that what conservatives call it?” Obama snickered. “So, there you go.”

Obama, who was found by White House Dossier ducking behind a tomato bush with a cigarette in the first lady’s vegetable garden, agreed to participate in a brief interview on the condition that White House Dossier not reveal that he was smoking.

The president, who was also sipping a milk shake, said people who make over $250,000 a year were abusing others and neglecting their responsibilities.

“Nobody claws their way to the top without stepping on some corpses,” Obama said. “By taking so much time to earn large salaries, these folks are either grabbing money that others could have or taking time away from their obligations to perform social work and prevent Japanese whaling. So a penalty is clearly in order.”

Obama argued that people who make more money had inherent advantages over those who do not.

“Just because someone was born with a willingness to work hard doesn’t mean he should prosper while someone who had the misfortune of being born lazy should not,” Obama said.

“I would argue that lazy people are in particular need of big screen TVs,” he continued. “My proposal would allocate some of the new cash the government receives to allow lazy people to purchase big screen TVs. And of course, remote controls.”

Obama insisted that the “penalty” would actually help small businesses people who incur it.

“People who run small businesses work too much, neglecting their families, their health, and their golf,” Obama said. “If I can tax them out of business, they can start working eight hours a day at a convenience store and lead happier lives.”

Obama denied that making his plan to penalize the rich a central portion of his campaign amounted to class warfare.

“Was it class warfare when Marx said, ‘Workers of the world unite?’ Or when Lenin lopped off the heads of the Kulaks? I don’t think so.”

It was at this point that White House Chief of Staff Jack Lew interrupted us.

“Mr. President, your shrimp cocktail is waiting for you in the Oval Office.”

Obama nodded. “Well, Keith, I’ve got to go. I have to take care of some of the nation’s important business during a meeting with my shrimp cocktail, and then I’m off to campaign.”

With that, he was gone. The president is spending the rest of the day on the campaign trail in Virginia.

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18 Responses to Obama Says Tax on Wealthy is Really a Penalty

  1. I have to agree with the Prez; people who are quarter-millionaires could not possible have made that much money without cheating someone. They are almost unAmerican and the epitome of the freeloader class; they never march in the streets in protest, and they expect their employees to work for them while they pretend to do paperwork in their cushy offices.

    America is the land of the free and as our national anthem, Me & BobbyMcGee, claims “freedom is when you have nothing left to lose”.
    MrObama is our hero and the saviour of our freedoms.

    • Well, his policies have already downgraded us from millionaires (we saved a LOT for our retirement) to “quarter-millionaire” status. We even lost our miserable GM stock. One of these days, I fully expect him to declare that we can’t keep the paltry amount of our savings that we have left in our 401Ks.

    • The real problem is that we have raised a generation that buys the crap that he shovels. It is either selfish or stupid to think that this country can survive his socialist/debt policies. We are in big trouble, and the problem is not obama. It is 48% of the population that is willing to vote for him.

  2. Obama has taken away our freedoms since he took office. He shouldn’t be taxing anyone. the upper class did earn their income and why should they provide for the freeloader class who get their food stamps, air conditioning, apartments, medical insurance, cell phones, ect. We need to decrease government at every level. Get rid off all the social programs and entitlements. Get rid off all the unions and most of the government unions and useless government jobs..ex. Czars. Stop providing for the illegals in this country and send them packing which would provide jobs for the teenagers and people who are out of work.

  3. Houston, we have a problem! We have a runaway POTUS who has created a permanent underclass for the purpose of votes. When does this reach the level of election tampering? When can we expect an arrest? We are now in a state of lawlessness!!!

    OBAMA’S IMPERIAL PRESIDENCY GUTS WELFARE REFORM
    http://blog.heritage.org/2012/07/13/morning-bell-obamas-imperial-presidency-guts-welfare-reform/?roi=echo3-12545797535-9134079-ce2a0e168c4103963432ceaac72adb92&utm_source=Newsletter&utm_medium=Email&utm_campaign=Morning%2BBell

    • Do you think we can make a citizen’s arrest? Otherwise, I don’t think there’s anyone in Washington that will do arrest him. People in Congress will complain but do nothing. Our Constitution has been shredded. Years of sacrifice by our founding fathers and their families have been made worthless. It’s an outrage.

  4. I started reading at “‘Nobody claws their way…'”. Sweet mother of God, I thought this was a real interview. Not far off, that’s my point. Keith, you have to dream up far more ridiculous satire to separate from the reality.

    • You aren’t the only one who thought it was real. The bad thing is, I can see him taxing people who make more than 40k a year and calling it a “penalty”, because you must be penalized when you think and do for yourself outside of the claws of the government.

  5. Keith: if nothing else, you know when the blogging/reporting gig is up, stand-up comedy will take you with open arms. Very funny. No, very very very funny!

  6. I remember when the “White House Press Corps” asked REAL questions to a “US President” & worked for a living…

    now its just all propaganda.

    • Worse, news “anchors” who interview the President and give them a free pass. Witness, Charlie Rose speaking with The President. It was basically a prime-time campaign speech in which Obama got to attack Romney, Bain, and continue his litany of lies. I thought better of Charlie Rose. Guess not.

  7. Um, and apparently he and Michelle Antoinette just so happen to have all their money AND be in the same category. Nothing to do with them, right? So they couldn’t POSSIBLY be big, fat (no pun intended) hypocrites.

  8. The wealthy are business owners….raise their.taxes and they will automatically raise their price of goods or services they provide. The wealthy wont suffer..this would ultimatly hurt alot of families. Only ppl who arnt wealth will be hurt.Not to mention it will put out alot small business.. in which unemployment will rise….