Many of you may already have read the incredible news, WHICH I AT FIRST THOUGHT MUST BE A PARODY, that the Obama campaign had asked to be placed on people’s registries!
Here’s a screen shot of the request from the Obama 2012 website.
What few people realize is that this was actually the most acceptable of several similar unconventional fundraising tactics the Obama campaign considered deploying.
White House Dossier, through its network of paid sources within the Obama campaign, has unconvered a list of sample messages to donors proposing various other ideas for having them part with their money. We print for you here the top ten very personal fundraising pleas that were rejected by the Obama campaign.
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1. Going to church this Sunday? When they pass the hat, reach in, take the money out, and send it to President Obama.
2. Did your rich uncle recently pass away? Please consider donating a portion of your inheritance in his name to the Obama campaign.
3. Do you yourself have a terminal illness? Make sure your will reflects your commitment to President Obama.
4. Are you one of the few people who shorted Facebook? Don’t forget the Obama campaign. And pick up some Nicorette for him.
5. Planning on robbing a 7-11 this week? Please remember to share a portion of the loot with President Obama.
6. Counting cards in Las Vegas? Don’t forget to share some of the winnings with your president.
7. Running a pyramid scheme for your financial clients? Please send the Obama campaign a portion of the “investments” before the scheme collapses.
8. You know your children don’t keep track of the money in their checking accounts. Remove half of it and send it to President Obama.
9. Planning to kill someone for the insurance money? Assuming you get away with it, please donate a share of the proceeds to Obama 2012.
10. Tired of being criticized for being in the “one percent”? Take a moment to donate enough to the Obama campaign so that you can boast that you are merely a member of the “two percent.”
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Have you heard any we might not be aware of?
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I am so disgusted by this…how low can this guy go??? He keeps disrespecting the office so much and nothing is said by the lame media. Now..if it had been Bush doing this…….(sigh…I do miss him)
Me too from class to this trashy twosome.
I’m also getting sick of being called a racist because I don’t like anything about their policies, their arrogance, or their tactics. Can’t we just not want him to be president again because we just don’t like him????
um. this was a joke. you FUCKING idiot!
Keith, regarding #3……..Wouldn’t these have to be terminal illnesses where the patient would actually pass before the election? Oh wait. Obamacare Death Panels. Sorry, I just answered my own question.
Good point Rick.
They may pass before the election butt you can bet they will still get to vote!!
“Chicago, Chicago, a helluva town….” LOL
“butt”. Fuck. Each and every one of you is retarded
david, You must be a member of the LGBT faction. May you get it in the end.
Your vocabulary reflects your stupidity and lack of knowledge of the English language. Maybe you learned it from our dope smoking Barry. You are as crude as the joker in the WH.
From Chicago Voter, at Weasel Zippers:
“Have a Bris, leave a tip.”
Ouch. Funny.
That’s similar to what the leper said to the prostitute; “Keep the tip!”
At this rate they would take the money donated to the poor school bus lady
that was bullied.
LOL Lizzy, the IRS is visiting her as we speak. “Well, if you made a contribution to the Campaign….”
Barack Hussein Obama = I really don’t care anymore… Obama is a ‘Neo-Socialist’ who was “voted in” by millions of DUMB/IGORANT ‘voters’ who never watch-follow the “News”.
Obama is making the “USA” a pathectic mess… what’s the point? The “Media” are his Sycophants & the ‘Republicans’ just nod & ‘wink’ at him and his Power Grabs (re: GHW Bush…)
This once “Proud Nation” is going to HELL… when will the “Hunger Games/Mad Max” begin…??? (1776-201? A.D.)…
Ah, the smell of fear and desperation that is wafting out of this campaign. Desperation begets stupidity.
11. Has a relative recently passed? Have the mourners give to the Obama campaign in the deceased’s honor.
And make sure they vote for me in November!
12. “Thinking of signing that organ donor card at Motor Vehicles, Folks? Are you aware what cash value is placed upon these precious items? Check out http://www.givebarackyourorgans.com to explore your opportunities to help Obama2012!”
no. 13 stating up a local new black panther group/ why not donate your shakedown proceeds to barry hussein’s campaign and we’ll continue to
direct the DOJ to ignore your misbehaving at the precincts or wherever.
No 14 selling your blood plasma is just one more patriotic way to raise $$$ to keep our messiah in the WH fighting against the hateful republican party which only wants to exploit you…
That was actually in an obit in ’08.
Seriously? Was it in a Detroit paper? Just reading some Politico article about his overseas donations. Of course the article is about his legal or legitimate overseas donations, not the Hamas phone bank he had in 2008. Of course the FEC is turning a blind eye to his disabling of the security feature on credit card donations…just as they did in 2008.
I’m not sure where it was printed. It was just a regular old obit, and at the very end it said something to the effect that the deceased really despised the Bush administration and in lieu of flowers to give money to the Obama election.
There have been a ton of Anti-Obama obit requests since then. lol . This from the HuffPoo (no link because I don’t link them):
Great article of witdom Sir Keith. I could not possibly follow up with something as brilliant and hilarious as your list.
great list
anyone think #2 could really happen?
i sure do
Keith, I beg to differ. At this point you can’t really think these low-lifes would actually reject ANY of these!!!!!!!!!!!!
Instead of chowing down on that double meat double cheese whataburger with onion rings and a 32oz drink…why not give that money to barack obama?
Michelle will thank you for it!
ooohhhhh WHATABURGER & ONION RINGS…..the best, Jerry!
Moved from TX to FL. Had Whataburger for a couple of years here then they CLOSED…yet another reason FL is so messed up! They don’t know what a GREAT burger is…how can they pick a PREZ?
Have a near & dear relative on his/her deathbed? In lieu of flowers, send a donation to “the president’s” campaign!!
11. Suffer from ED? Why pay full price for Viagra or Cialis? Go to Canada and get discounted prices on all your prescriptions and send the difference to Obama2012!
12. Does your local convenience store or gas station have a “Support the Make a Wish Foundation” campaign? Instead of giving to Make a Wish, give to Obama2012, we can do more for sick kids than you can!
13. Are you a local drug dealer? Don’t forget to send a portion of your profits to Obama2012, and we’ll make sure you don’t get prosecuted. (Don’t forget to send an ounce or two also)
14. The high price of gas been getting you down? Well, buy and Volt or a bicycle and send the money you save on gas to Obama2012!
The Obama Admin has CAUSED me to have E.D. (Electoral Dysfunction)!
Ways to get more money for the Obama campaign:
* Forget the casket, just dump Pops in the dirt (he won’t mind)
* No braces for the kids, they don’t need straight teeth to eat.
* Cut back on food, billions of people eat rice and they’re OK.
* Cancel Cable TV, you don’t need to watch FOXnews anyway.
* Take Grandma out of that expensive nursing home, put her in a homeless shelter
* Quit buying pet food for Fido and Fluffy, they can kill their own dinners.
Actually, they tried number 7 with Corzine and it worked well but then the fund crashed and so they decided not to go wider with this one
Won’t his cause more unemployment. The workers who make birthday cards, wedding presents, etc make less of them because the consumer’s money will go direct to Obama. Sales go down thus companies let employees go.
Better add in banquet halls, catering services, and their employees. No need for wedding bands or DJ services either. He’s sucking the life out of this country.
now that IS funny…..to think he cares about unemployment! Great joke!
http://www.americanthinker.com/blog/2012/06/fundraising_frontiers_for_obama_2012.html
Somene did a organ doner registry, ill put the pic on your fb
Jeff that was my article thanks for promoting it!
Best – Jeannie
Looks like the comments have been disabled over at the Obama 2012 Event Registry. Pity. They were funny.
Here’s the latest from the slick Obama machine; “be scrappy”
http://weaselzippers.us/2012/06/23/obama-campaign-to-volunteers-be-scrappy-and-make-phone-calls-from-the-parking-lot-after-your-phone-bank-closes/#comments
Are there any adults in charge in Chicago?
11. Are you receiving Obama food stamps? Show your appreciation by selling a portion of them on the black market – cash for stamps. Donate the proceeds to Big Daddy! Michelle says you don’t need more than 800 calories per day to survive. And besides, you are all too fat!
12. Are you planning to take out a second mortgage on your home because you can’t make ends meet? Please consider doing a small ‘cash-out’ for Michelle and me so that we can stay in our “home” for another 4 years.
13. Are you an ‘early Christmas shopper?” Please consider skipping the presents for the kids this year…and send an early ‘Holiday gift” to Michelle and me. As you know, we do not celebrate this Christian holiday – so we would appreciate your sacrifice.
They don’t celebrate it, but they spend a lot of our money to mask that. Shelly Antonnette had 37 Christmas trees, and they weren’t even home for the holidays!
http://www.nationalreview.com/the-feed/285516/obamas-have-37-christmas-trees
37 trees, and a quarter ton gingerbread house. Either they’re compensating for something, or “methinks the lady protesteth too much”!
Great schemes Keith and everybody. Looks like the grifters have lots of ideas with all the help from Twitter and the blogosphere. My guess is if Laura Wilson is the bright bulb who came up with this fine idea, she’s no longer on King Kardashian’s payroll. This has made him the laughingstock of conservatives.
Tell your kids the Tooth Fairy is donating that quarter to the Obama campaign.
Don’t get that new tattoo, send the price of it to Obama and draw on yourself with magic markers.
What!?! He didn’t ask for a EBT contribution from his loyal fan base.
Dig up your dead relatives and remove their weddings rings and gold dental fillings and send them to Obama.
(Can’t take credit for this one– read it elsewhere.)
UPDATE : JUST ANNOUNCED CHRISTMAS IS NOW SEPTEMBER 25Th.
Santa Claus says Obama has been a good for nothing boy this year. So
folks you can now include those gifts you would receive, and yes your kids would receive on Christmas Day to a very worthy cause. Upgrade your life and donate to The OBAMA 2012 Pressintential re-election campain.
Why yes…forgo the flowers for the funeral and send the money to Obama. Go to the shop.barackobama.com store, peruse the pet collection section, if by chance they have a Presidential Pooper Scooper, order it, offer your services around the neighborhood for a fee and send the proceeds to Obama. But the best one yet is this one…selling one of your spare organs, like a kidney and sending the money to Obama.
http://www.americanthinker.com/blog/2012/06/fundraising_frontiers_for_obama_2012.html
The teens, don’t forget the teens if they have jobs! We know the youngsters are all for The Preezy, King Barack Kardashian. Your teen has a lot of babysitting gigs this summer? Hey, it’s your job to support her. She doesn’t need that money, so let her donate it to the Obozo campaign. You son mows lawns all summer? Well, tell him to work hard and mow those lawns for the Preezy. Send all that lawn mowing cash to the Obozo campaign. From grass to cash….and oh yeah, tell ‘em King Kardashian’s going to legalize weed.
The lottery. Don’t forget to play the lottery every week, “folks”. Should you be lucky enough to won, send the cash to the Obozo campaign. In fact, I hear that King Barack Kardashian will be signing an executive order next week whereby ALL lottery winners will have to fork over half their winnings to the Obozo campaign. Winning The Future, WTF, Bend Forward, yada, yada, yada.
Sperm banks! C’mon, you can do it, guys! The Obozo campaign needs you to donate as often as you can. Get that cash for you little swimmers and send it to the Obozo campaign! See, we all can do something to help out the Preezy.
Ladies, it will take a good deal more sacrifice on your part, but how about donating your eggs? It’s not like you need them or anything, and you could get thousands of bucks for the Preezy’s campaign.
Nah. Democrat guys would want a picture of Obama to masturb@te with, and no one wants what they got anyway.
Between the expense of the glossies, and the fact that the price for Donkey sperm would be low, the whole thing would be a financial wash – at best – for the campaign.
The egg thing presupposes that Democrat women are actually women. Look and Nancy Pelosi or Janet Napoletano for example, and ask yourself if you really want to make that assumption.
Maybe you could collect the sperm from the bath house after an Obama romp with his buddy Rahm? THAT you could get money for, between Democrats that love to swallow for Obama and dictators everywhere who would love to clone him to multiply the damage he’s done to this country. On the other hand, like any good Democrat, I’m sure Obama means for someone ELSE to pony up, not him, not even sperm. That’s what peasants – eh, taxpayers – are for, right?
He only likes it when he can shoot it in our faces from behind a podium.
Keith, when Axelrod gets wind of your list, he’ll be kicking himself that he didn’t think of these himself.
I think everyone should just send all their unwanted gifts,ugly vases,bowls,etc.. and then the campaign can just have one big garage sale.
Seriously it would be funny if there was a big push to send them a bunch of junk. How could we make that happen?
I love this idea.
Re-gift/11
Get Mike Huckabee on it! The governor has agreat sense of humor.
Don’t forget the Christmas Fruit cake.
Open a Vein for Obama, Sell Your Blood !
Hey, the timing of the Registry campaign conveniently started AFTER ValJar’s daughter’s wedding, nice timing ;)
MOTUS has the best “registry” , LOL :
http://www.michellesmirror.com/2012/06/most-arrogant-man-in-world-invites.html
Paying for a family member’s colonoscopy or bowel resection?
Let Obama clean them out instead.
Thumbs up. ^
So what is the wedding planner up to today? Just heard the results of his fabulous Arab Spring initiative. Congrats King Kardashian…Egypt will be ruled by the Muslim Brotherhood, and their first goal is to make Jerusalem their capital. Maybe he’ll squeeze in another game of golf before he decides to comment on his grand diplomatic success story.
NO. I kept checking this morning to see, and it was never announced.
My cousin married and Egyptian. I got into a shouting match with the husband over the last election – staunch Obama supporter (for the environment and the deficit). Anyway, when the stuff started in Egypt, he was all giddy.
He’s gone “dark” lately. I should call him up today.
Lots of his outspoken supporters in 2008 have gone silent in recent months. The Muslim Brotherhood takeover is a Drudge headline story. Dangerous times ahead. I’m sure Israel is ready for them, just hope they don’t entrust any of their plans to the loose lips in King K’s crew.
Israel’s military has had no trouble dispatching the Egyptians for many years. I doubt the Muslim leadership will be any more competent than the secular one was. If it has half a brain it will leave the Israelis strictly alone. Sadat had that figured out. The new boys may have to learn it again.
“wedding planner”….LMAO Next he will be doing valet parking at high profile weddings for the tip $$$
FYI The Marine Band is composing a new song to play with Barack arrives at events. “Hail to the Sleaze”
Great one, Rick! Love it!!!
I wouldn’t blame them a bit for doing that RickW. The Marine Corps Band was forced to play for that party King Kardashian threw for the militant gay activists a few days ago. You know the same guys that flipped off Reagan’s portrait? Yeah, that classless bunch of losers.
Are “we” golfing today?
And by “we” – I mean Bar – ack.
He could be hitting 101 today.
Over and done -he hit 101.
Lisa, he can go even lower…
it just keeps getting better.
Thinking of selling a pint of blood or one of your kidneys?
Give the cash to King Narcissus Maximus.
Obama is golfing today.
What a surprise.
Time for golf, but no time to issue a statement on the Egyptian election results. He doesn’t even try to pretend any longer…
The “White House” issued some sort of congrast to Morsi. Looking forward to working with him …
Of course he played golf:
http://weaselzippers.us/2012/06/24/when-the-going-gets-tough-obama-plays-with-his-putter-101st-round-as-president/
By the way, Monday and Tuesday he’s doing nothing but traveling and fundraising.
I’m looking forward to the pictures of HUGE crowds at his fundraisers. I bet he’ll get at least several dozen.
Planning on donating blood? How about sharing or giving that money to Obama for his campaign?
Instead of paying your child for mowing the lawn and taking out the trash, why not force him/her to fork over his/her hard earned wages and give it to the Obama campaign fund?
Instead of sending your money to help pay off the $15 trillion in debt….why not send that money to the Obama campaign?
When the girl scouts come to your door selling cookies…send them away!
Use that money instead to help President Obama!
JOKE AND SHAME…
Like baseball? Instead of going to “Cominskey field’ stay home and watch the game on tv. Send the savings to Obama!
Need to diet? Fast twice a week and send the savings on your food bill to Obama! You’ll get thin and his wallet will get fat!
Need surgery? Take a pain pill instead and send the thousands saved to Obama!
No need to golf – Obama will golf in your honor. Send him the money you save from the golf fees!
Paint your roof white (remember that?!?) and send Obama the savings from your electric bills!
Sell your forks, before they’re banned as dangerous weapons, and give the proceeds to Obama!
#15 Clunkers for Communists- Why trade that car for cash when you could donate it for the “collective good”
#16 Bakesales For Barry- This probably wouldn’t fly given Michelle’s oppostion to other people enjoying baked goods
Give your Chevy Volt rebate money to Barry…you know it’s the right thing to do.
No more college fund for the kiddies…send it all to Barry.
Did you recently receive a government handout or any indirect assistance from the 50% of the Americans who actually pay income tax? Consider giving a kickback to the Obama campaign. Laissez les bon temps roulez!
I have heard of several other ideas that were floated around:
1. When you get change back from from using your EBT Food Stamp card..send it to Obama…it’s his money anyway.
2. When the pizza guy delivers the pizza, show him the tip and say, “Sorry but the Prez needs this more than you.”
3. All business owners are required to lay-off three (3) people and send that savings to Obama. Since you haven’t done anything to deserve your ill-gotten gain, and you didn’t build this business anyway, you need to work harder and stop complaining about everything.
4. All Military personnel are required to eat MRE’s ( meals that are ready to eat) whether they are stateside or serving overseas. Also, please limit the ammo you carry to 5 rounds. This makes the fight more “fair” and will help change the attitude of those trying to kill you.
5. GM and Jeep/Chrysler dealers need to send those rebate checks back to Obama and not give them to their customers who purchase a new vehicle. Just remember who saved your hairy butt anyway.
6. All children/parents who open or wish to open a lemonade stand (or other immoral capitalistic endeavor) will now be offered an opportunity to share in the historic re-election of our first half-black President (see Morgan Freeman comments). You have a choice of sending your profits for the next ten years to the president or purchasing an Obama Peddlers License for $2500.00.
7. Burger King will be required to change their motto from ” Have it your way” to “Have it Michelle’s way or pay a fine of $20.00″ All fines are sent to the Presidents re-election fund.
8. A little glitch in the Affordable Health Care Act was that everyone facing surgery will only receive 1/2 the amount of anesthesia required. Also, all hospitals are required to use only aspirin and a tongue depressor to bite on to alleviate the pain. All hospitals and surgery centers are required to send the savings from this new provision to the President. IMPORTANT*** If someone asks their Doctor about needing more pain medication they are to be told “Stop being such a wuss and grow a pair.”
9. All of the Hollywood Elite that promised to move to another country if President Bush was elected in 2000 and 2004 would you please go ahead and sell your homes, furnishing, etc and make that move immediately. Please send ALL of those proceeds to the President. No one will know or care you moved but you will have reduced your carbon footprint in Hollywood. Also, it allows Governor Brown to use your homes for the homeless and less fortunate.
10. From this date forward there will be a fine of $25.00 for every time someone OTHER THAN PRESIDENT OBAMA uses the term (whether Spoken or Written) “Blame President Bush”. This will generate untold millions from the President Obama’s most loyal subjects. I mean supporters.
Moyls! Just finished a bris? Don’t forget to send the …..tips to the Obama campaign!
11. Can’t convince your friends to vote democrat? Buy their vote and we will reimburse you! (only if we get re-elected and you are involved in a renewable energy firm, of course)
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