As of now, I am in control here, in the White House

Top Ten Rejected Obama Fundraising Schemes

Many of you may already have read the incredible news, WHICH I AT FIRST THOUGHT MUST BE A PARODY, that the Obama campaign had asked to be placed on people’s registries!

Here’s a screen shot of the request from the Obama 2012 website.

What few people realize is that this was actually the most acceptable of several similar unconventional fundraising tactics the Obama campaign considered deploying.

White House Dossier, through its network of paid sources within the Obama campaign, has unconvered a list of sample messages to donors proposing various other ideas for having them part with their money. We print for you here the  top ten very personal fundraising pleas that were rejected by the Obama campaign.

*******

1. Going to church this Sunday? When they pass the hat, reach in, take the money out, and send it to President Obama.

2. Did your rich uncle recently pass away? Please consider donating a portion of your inheritance in his name to the Obama campaign.

3. Do you yourself have a terminal illness? Make sure your will reflects your commitment to President Obama.

4. Are you one of the few people who shorted Facebook? Don’t forget the Obama campaign. And pick up some Nicorette for him.

5. Planning on robbing a 7-11 this week? Please remember to share a portion of the loot with President Obama.

6. Counting cards in Las Vegas? Don’t forget to share some of the winnings with your president.

7. Running a pyramid scheme for your financial clients? Please send the Obama campaign a portion of the “investments” before the scheme collapses.

8. You know your children don’t keep track of the money in their checking accounts. Remove half of it and send it to President Obama.

9. Planning to kill someone for the insurance money? Assuming you get away with it, please donate a share of the proceeds to Obama 2012.

10. Tired of being criticized for being in the “one percent”? Take a moment to donate enough to the Obama campaign so that you can boast that you are merely a member of the “two percent.”

 *******

Have you heard any we might not be aware of?

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on RedditShare on LinkedInEmail this to someone

100 Responses to Top Ten Rejected Obama Fundraising Schemes

  1. I am so disgusted by this…how low can this guy go??? He keeps disrespecting the office so much and nothing is said by the lame media. Now..if it had been Bush doing this…….(sigh…I do miss him)

  2. Keith, regarding #3……..Wouldn’t these have to be terminal illnesses where the patient would actually pass before the election? Oh wait. Obamacare Death Panels. Sorry, I just answered my own question.

  3. Barack Hussein Obama = I really don’t care anymore… Obama is a ‘Neo-Socialist’ who was “voted in” by millions of DUMB/IGORANT ‘voters’ who never watch-follow the “News”.
    Obama is making the “USA” a pathectic mess… what’s the point? The “Media” are his Sycophants & the ‘Republicans’ just nod & ‘wink’ at him and his Power Grabs (re: GHW Bush…)

    This once “Proud Nation” is going to HELL… when will the “Hunger Games/Mad Max” begin…??? (1776-201? A.D.)…

      • no. 13 stating up a local new black panther group/ why not donate your shakedown proceeds to barry hussein’s campaign and we’ll continue to
        direct the DOJ to ignore your misbehaving at the precincts or wherever.

        No 14 selling your blood plasma is just one more patriotic way to raise $$$ to keep our messiah in the WH fighting against the hateful republican party which only wants to exploit you…

      • Seriously? Was it in a Detroit paper? Just reading some Politico article about his overseas donations. Of course the article is about his legal or legitimate overseas donations, not the Hamas phone bank he had in 2008. Of course the FEC is turning a blind eye to his disabling of the security feature on credit card donations…just as they did in 2008.

        • I’m not sure where it was printed. It was just a regular old obit, and at the very end it said something to the effect that the deceased really despised the Bush administration and in lieu of flowers to give money to the Obama election.

          There have been a ton of Anti-Obama obit requests since then. lol . This from the HuffPoo (no link because I don’t link them):

          James Francis “Fitz” Fitzgerald Sr. of Janesville, Wis., who once owned the National Basketball Association’s Milwaukee Bucks and Golden State Warriors, died on Monday at 86. His 14 paragraph-long obituary that ran in Tuesday’s edition of Madison’s Wisconsin State Journal sounds pretty normal: He was married 62 years, served in the Navy and was a successful businessman.

          Then, in the final sentence of the final paragraph, things suddenly get political: “Memorials may be made to St. John Vianney School in Janesville, St. Coletta of Wisconsin in Jefferson, or whoever is running against Barack Obama.”

  4. Instead of chowing down on that double meat double cheese whataburger with onion rings and a 32oz drink…why not give that money to barack obama?

    Michelle will thank you for it!

    • ooohhhhh WHATABURGER & ONION RINGS…..the best, Jerry!
      Moved from TX to FL. Had Whataburger for a couple of years here then they CLOSED…yet another reason FL is so messed up! They don’t know what a GREAT burger is…how can they pick a PREZ?

  5. 11. Suffer from ED? Why pay full price for Viagra or Cialis? Go to Canada and get discounted prices on all your prescriptions and send the difference to Obama2012!

    12. Does your local convenience store or gas station have a “Support the Make a Wish Foundation” campaign? Instead of giving to Make a Wish, give to Obama2012, we can do more for sick kids than you can!

    13. Are you a local drug dealer? Don’t forget to send a portion of your profits to Obama2012, and we’ll make sure you don’t get prosecuted. (Don’t forget to send an ounce or two also)

    14. The high price of gas been getting you down? Well, buy and Volt or a bicycle and send the money you save on gas to Obama2012!

  6. Ways to get more money for the Obama campaign:
    * Forget the casket, just dump Pops in the dirt (he won’t mind)
    * No braces for the kids, they don’t need straight teeth to eat.
    * Cut back on food, billions of people eat rice and they’re OK.
    * Cancel Cable TV, you don’t need to watch FOXnews anyway.
    * Take Grandma out of that expensive nursing home, put her in a homeless shelter
    * Quit buying pet food for Fido and Fluffy, they can kill their own dinners.

  7. Actually, they tried number 7 with Corzine and it worked well but then the fund crashed and so they decided not to go wider with this one

  8. Won’t his cause more unemployment. The workers who make birthday cards, wedding presents, etc make less of them because the consumer’s money will go direct to Obama. Sales go down thus companies let employees go.

  9. 11. Are you receiving Obama food stamps? Show your appreciation by selling a portion of them on the black market – cash for stamps. Donate the proceeds to Big Daddy! Michelle says you don’t need more than 800 calories per day to survive. And besides, you are all too fat!

    12. Are you planning to take out a second mortgage on your home because you can’t make ends meet? Please consider doing a small ‘cash-out’ for Michelle and me so that we can stay in our “home” for another 4 years.

    13. Are you an ‘early Christmas shopper?” Please consider skipping the presents for the kids this year…and send an early ‘Holiday gift” to Michelle and me. As you know, we do not celebrate this Christian holiday – so we would appreciate your sacrifice.

  10. Great schemes Keith and everybody. Looks like the grifters have lots of ideas with all the help from Twitter and the blogosphere. My guess is if Laura Wilson is the bright bulb who came up with this fine idea, she’s no longer on King Kardashian’s payroll. This has made him the laughingstock of conservatives.

  11. Dig up your dead relatives and remove their weddings rings and gold dental fillings and send them to Obama.

    (Can’t take credit for this one– read it elsewhere.)

  12. UPDATE : JUST ANNOUNCED CHRISTMAS IS NOW SEPTEMBER 25Th.

    Santa Claus says Obama has been a good for nothing boy this year. So
    folks you can now include those gifts you would receive, and yes your kids would receive on Christmas Day to a very worthy cause. Upgrade your life and donate to The OBAMA 2012 Pressintential re-election campain.

  13. Why yes…forgo the flowers for the funeral and send the money to Obama. Go to the shop.barackobama.com store, peruse the pet collection section, if by chance they have a Presidential Pooper Scooper, order it, offer your services around the neighborhood for a fee and send the proceeds to Obama. But the best one yet is this one…selling one of your spare organs, like a kidney and sending the money to Obama.

    http://www.americanthinker.com/blog/2012/06/fundraising_frontiers_for_obama_2012.html

  14. The teens, don’t forget the teens if they have jobs! We know the youngsters are all for The Preezy, King Barack Kardashian. Your teen has a lot of babysitting gigs this summer? Hey, it’s your job to support her. She doesn’t need that money, so let her donate it to the Obozo campaign. You son mows lawns all summer? Well, tell him to work hard and mow those lawns for the Preezy. Send all that lawn mowing cash to the Obozo campaign. From grass to cash….and oh yeah, tell ’em King Kardashian’s going to legalize weed.

    The lottery. Don’t forget to play the lottery every week, “folks”. Should you be lucky enough to won, send the cash to the Obozo campaign. In fact, I hear that King Barack Kardashian will be signing an executive order next week whereby ALL lottery winners will have to fork over half their winnings to the Obozo campaign. Winning The Future, WTF, Bend Forward, yada, yada, yada.

  15. Sperm banks! C’mon, you can do it, guys! The Obozo campaign needs you to donate as often as you can. Get that cash for you little swimmers and send it to the Obozo campaign! See, we all can do something to help out the Preezy.

    Ladies, it will take a good deal more sacrifice on your part, but how about donating your eggs? It’s not like you need them or anything, and you could get thousands of bucks for the Preezy’s campaign.

    • Nah. Democrat guys would want a picture of Obama to masturb@te with, and no one wants what they got anyway.

      Between the expense of the glossies, and the fact that the price for Donkey sperm would be low, the whole thing would be a financial wash – at best – for the campaign.

      The egg thing presupposes that Democrat women are actually women. Look and Nancy Pelosi or Janet Napoletano for example, and ask yourself if you really want to make that assumption.

      Maybe you could collect the sperm from the bath house after an Obama romp with his buddy Rahm? THAT you could get money for, between Democrats that love to swallow for Obama and dictators everywhere who would love to clone him to multiply the damage he’s done to this country. On the other hand, like any good Democrat, I’m sure Obama means for someone ELSE to pony up, not him, not even sperm. That’s what peasants – eh, taxpayers – are for, right?

      He only likes it when he can shoot it in our faces from behind a podium.

  16. I think everyone should just send all their unwanted gifts,ugly vases,bowls,etc.. and then the campaign can just have one big garage sale.

    Seriously it would be funny if there was a big push to send them a bunch of junk. How could we make that happen?

  17. Open a Vein for Obama, Sell Your Blood !

    Hey, the timing of the Registry campaign conveniently started AFTER ValJar’s daughter’s wedding, nice timing ;)

  18. So what is the wedding planner up to today? Just heard the results of his fabulous Arab Spring initiative. Congrats King Kardashian…Egypt will be ruled by the Muslim Brotherhood, and their first goal is to make Jerusalem their capital. Maybe he’ll squeeze in another game of golf before he decides to comment on his grand diplomatic success story.

    • NO. I kept checking this morning to see, and it was never announced.

      My cousin married and Egyptian. I got into a shouting match with the husband over the last election – staunch Obama supporter (for the environment and the deficit). Anyway, when the stuff started in Egypt, he was all giddy.

      He’s gone “dark” lately. I should call him up today.

      • Lots of his outspoken supporters in 2008 have gone silent in recent months. The Muslim Brotherhood takeover is a Drudge headline story. Dangerous times ahead. I’m sure Israel is ready for them, just hope they don’t entrust any of their plans to the loose lips in King K’s crew.

        • Israel’s military has had no trouble dispatching the Egyptians for many years. I doubt the Muslim leadership will be any more competent than the secular one was. If it has half a brain it will leave the Israelis strictly alone. Sadat had that figured out. The new boys may have to learn it again.

        • I wouldn’t blame them a bit for doing that RickW. The Marine Corps Band was forced to play for that party King Kardashian threw for the militant gay activists a few days ago. You know the same guys that flipped off Reagan’s portrait? Yeah, that classless bunch of losers.

  19. Instead of paying your child for mowing the lawn and taking out the trash, why not force him/her to fork over his/her hard earned wages and give it to the Obama campaign fund?

    Instead of sending your money to help pay off the $15 trillion in debt….why not send that money to the Obama campaign?

    When the girl scouts come to your door selling cookies…send them away!
    Use that money instead to help President Obama!

  20. Like baseball? Instead of going to “Cominskey field’ stay home and watch the game on tv. Send the savings to Obama!

    Need to diet? Fast twice a week and send the savings on your food bill to Obama! You’ll get thin and his wallet will get fat!

    Need surgery? Take a pain pill instead and send the thousands saved to Obama!

    No need to golf – Obama will golf in your honor. Send him the money you save from the golf fees!

    Paint your roof white (remember that?!?) and send Obama the savings from your electric bills!

    Sell your forks, before they’re banned as dangerous weapons, and give the proceeds to Obama!

  21. #15 Clunkers for Communists- Why trade that car for cash when you could donate it for the “collective good”
    #16 Bakesales For Barry- This probably wouldn’t fly given Michelle’s oppostion to other people enjoying baked goods