As of now, I am in control here, in the White House

The Top Ten Reasons Biden Will Stay on the Ticket

He’s not getting dumped. Here are the top ten reasons why:

1. The White House is concerned he will go out, get a real job, and potentially do serious damage.

2. Last time Obama mentioned him getting off the ticket, Biden took off all his clothes and locked himself in the Blue Room.

3. The news would make Biden’s combover stand up on end.

4. Michelle thinks he’s a perfect fit for her vegetable garden.

5. While not a genius himself, he makes Obama feel like a genius.

6. He vowed to chain himself to the colonnade and “never leave.”

7. Obama realizes that with Biden as vice president, the Republicans will never impeach him.

8. Sasha and Malia have started calling him “grandpa.”

9. He has promised during the vice presidential debate to simply keep repeating, “My name is Joe Biden and I hope you are having a nice day.”

10. He’s the first mainstream Caucasian-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy.

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32 Responses to The Top Ten Reasons Biden Will Stay on the Ticket

  1. 11. He promised to make a big #@(%# deal out of it if dropped.
    12. Personally responsible for given Obama the new “cow patty” line to use against Romney.
    13. Plans to deliver the Catholic vote by personally paying for all contraceptives and not forcing this ObamaCare provision on the church.

    • 14. Personally knows how big Obama’s “big stick” is.

      15. (goes with number 7) Assassination insurance – Just like a good neighbor, Joe Biden’s there!

      16. If dumped from the ticket has threaten to move next door to Bill and Hillary.

      17. Knows the secret handshake to get into the Tides Foundation meetings.

  2. 10. He’s the first mainstream Caucasian-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy dumber than a fence post and has the personality of an over the hill lounge comedian. FIFY

  3. Sorry to be O/T…. just heard that there will be 18 Million more potential young voters turning 18 since the last election in 2008! Wouldn’t be surprised if Obama sets up voting booths in every high school, community college, and university in the country! Scary!

  4. I like #2 (had an Uncle who would pull the same prank every time Auntie talked about a nursing home).

    Serious now.
    The Dems have painted themselves into a sticky corner and no matter what happens from now until electon day they have to keep VPBiden on the ticket.
    No lightning strike, no accident, no illness will be believed by the public as an excuse to ditch the old man.

    • Everybody has one of those crazy uncle’s srdem ;-)

      Agree with you about old Joe…if something happens to him now the stink of a hit job, whether real or imagined, will destroy the Democrats…

    • With this group of Dems, you must always look beyond and behind the curtain. Why bring up the drug use now? Are we headed to a about-face on legalizing maryjane use on a national level, or are we supposed to understand that no matter how many drugs a teenager indulges, he can grow up to be the POTUS.
      We all know that “medical” marijuana is a sham to give cover to those who want to smoke their brains at the same time they blacken their lungs.

      • Should have realized there was a method to their madness, srdem. Learning new things about these people behind the curtains every day…and it’s not a pretty sight.

    • Susan – love the term “Pookie” for The Wonce. But “Pookie” is my best friend’s cats name – I would hate to insult her.

      • Michael Berry, a Houston-based talk show host, frequently plays an audio of Obama telling an audience of drones to go get cousin Pookie off the couch to vote. While I stewed about what a layabout this guy has been his whole life, that was the first thing that came to mind. Apologies to your friend’s cat, Boo. Any disrespect was intended solely for the fraud in chief.

  5. Ugh:

    Next Thursday, president Obama will welcome Former President George W. Bush and Former First Lady Laura Bush to the White House for the official unveiling of their portraits.

    It waited this long, I wish they had just waited another eight months to do it when President Romney and Ann Romney are there.

  6. Too funny Keith!
    In all seriousness, he makes Obama look good and allows the media to over look all of Obama’s gaff; i.e. “navel corpseman” “57 states” yadda yadda yadda.

  7. Hey Keith,
    I also think that the only other person who could actually unite the demos at this point is Hillary and she is definately not interested in filling the lackey’s shoes and possibly the most unproductive, buffoon in the history of the white house. Besides, she will run in 2016 I think. Joe is beyond anything I have ever heard of.
    Regards from TX,
    Sharon

  8. Reason 11, Biden is the only Democrat (besides Debbie Whatshermouth Schultz) stupid enough to echo moronic policies with a straight face.

    Reason 12, You can’t beat Reason 7!