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Drop Biden Into the Supreme Court

by Keith Koffler on May 22, 2012, 11:33 am

There is growing talk that Vice President Biden will be booted off the ticket by President Obama. But dumping Biden begs an urgent question: Where to dump him?

Just dropping him in Delaware to roost and reminisce is an indignity that would redound politically against the president, who would seem harsh and ungrateful.

So most people are suggesting installing Biden at Foggy Bottom. But the problem with making Joe the Secretary of State is that the job description says something about using “diplomacy,” which is not what Joe is good at.

But there’s always the Supreme Court. Biden, the former chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee, knows the law, can’t make any trouble there, and will be a reliable liberal vote.

Obama could try to convince one of the two septuagenarian liberals on the Court to remove themselves after the spring term ends next month. Or, he could assure Biden of an eventual appointment and announce that Biden will not run for reelection because Obama would have to appoint a vice president after Biden resigns to go on the Court, and vice presidents should be elected.

But garrulous, backslapping Joe would never take the offer, you say?

Well, I doubt Biden is happy being marooned in the vice presidency. And if he maintains any of his ability to reason – let’s assume for the sake of argument he does – he knows he will never win the presidency in 2016.

The Supreme Court may not satisfy Biden’s thirst for the microphone. But the microphone is a tool that is increasingly getting him in trouble anyway. And a Supreme Court nod would address something of perhaps even greater psychologically urgency: It would assuage the deep insecurity of the man.

Remember, this is a person who insisted when running for president in 1988 that his IQ was higher than that of someone he encountered on the campaign trail, that he had graduated in the top half of his class in law school, won the “international moot court competition,” was ”the outstanding student in the political science department” and ”graduated with three degrees” from college.

Here’s a trip down that little memory lane.

Actually, he was 76th in a class of 85, got one degree from college, and was unfortunately not ”the outstanding student in the political science department”

It’s the same guy whose head nearly popped off his neck last month as he fulminated incongruously about his mother and father believing he could grow up to be president, shrieking that they “dreamed as much as any rich guy dreamed.”

As a Supreme Court justice, Biden will get to walk around in a special robe. He will arguably be an historic figure, having served in the Senate, as vice president, and on the Supreme Court. And he will actually get to have an impact on the nation.

It’s a deal he just might take, and a role where he might thrive. I mean, apparently, he did win the moot court competition.

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The Original May 22, 2012 at 11:48 am

That is just frightening. I can see BO promising Biden the SC if he drops out to let Hillary run. Then think of the idiots who would just vote for BO to let Hillary have a foot in the door as President. Can you imagine Biden on the SC bench? What a disaster.

I can see this happen.


sportinlife10 May 22, 2012 at 11:49 am

I suppose if Al Franken can be a senator, Joe Biden could be a “wise plagiarizer”.
Hasn’t SCOTUS suffered enough?

Girly1 May 22, 2012 at 11:51 am

Personally, I would just drop him off at the nearest AMTRAK station – he needs to spend ‘more time with the family’. As for the robe you speak of, Keith, I would suggest a nice terry cloth bathrobe and a comfy pair of slippers!

SnarkEsq. May 22, 2012 at 4:23 pm

Ha ha, Girly!

Alex Scipio May 23, 2012 at 6:09 pm

Drop him in the Atlantic… far out in the Atlantic…. farther…..

Alex Scipio May 23, 2012 at 6:09 pm

Drop him in the Atlantic… far out in the Atlantic…. farther…..

Joel May 24, 2012 at 11:06 am

There was a time in this country when the incumbent President, once defeated, would walk down the hill from the White House to the train station for the trip back home.

Biden has 0 qualifications to be a SC Justice. He’d never get confirmed by the Senate. Only a tool would even suggest it.

Moe May 22, 2012 at 11:52 am

I sure hope this is satire, and rumors going around.

Moe May 22, 2012 at 11:52 am

and not rumors I meant…

srdem65 May 22, 2012 at 12:00 pm

Good Golly Molly, (shudder). no. words.

indipete May 23, 2012 at 5:35 pm

Well put.

kmbog May 22, 2012 at 12:23 pm

I hope Joe finally gets around to it one day and lets us know his staggeringly high IQ.

MichelleIndependent May 22, 2012 at 12:26 pm

I hear the circus is hiring, or maybe Joe can get a job at a Delaware 7/11.

Pronghorn May 24, 2012 at 12:36 am

I wouldn’t trust him to get my Slurpee right.

Susan May 22, 2012 at 12:33 pm

I doubt Mooch would ever allow Hillary to be her meal ticket’s running mate. From the interviews with Ed Klein on his book “The Amateur”, it is evident that Mooch and ValJar are running this whole con game. Mooch appears to be extremely jealous of any female associations with the puppet in chief, and it could just destroy his fragile ego to know a woman who is more competent than him is one breath away from the throne. Not saying it’s an impossibility, let’s just hope old Joe doesn’t suffer a stroke the next time he’s screaming the party line to an audience of union members…

srdem65 May 22, 2012 at 12:44 pm

Agree. There are a lot of arguments against throwing MrBiden under the bus; the main one being that he protects the President from any impeachment proceedings. Who would want to impeach MrO only to have MrBiden take the helm.

MrsClinton is too smart to take on a losing proposition as VP even though her husband is goading her to take the step.

RRDRRD May 23, 2012 at 4:34 pm

Flip side of this concept is that Hilary as VP makes impeachment awfully appealing to both sides.

Andrew P May 23, 2012 at 8:57 pm

I find the prospect of Hillary as President to be truly scary – much worse than Obama. If you need reminding of her real nature, you need to watch “Hillary The Movie”. Hillary is a hard boiled Socialist just like Obama, but she is as COMPETENT as she is ruthless. I would rather see old harmless Joe “The Clown” Biden in the VP position.

bluesdoc70 May 23, 2012 at 5:54 pm

Mooch probably doesn’t want Hillary waddling around her digs any more than she does Oprah.

langley spook May 22, 2012 at 12:38 pm

University of Delaware… must be so proud of Joe Biden… but they would be, because that place has become a ‘wanna be’ Ivy League university, with a ‘liberal/lefty lean’ a US Vet & “College Republican” I ran into a lot of Bull Sh*t @ UD before they kicked me out years ago because my Lupus and ‘failing’ a few classes because of “health issues”…

veritaseequitas May 22, 2012 at 12:40 pm

Supreme Court Jester maybe?

RRDRRD May 23, 2012 at 4:36 pm

I like it – he could have a chair off to the side and utter non sequitors during the time that Thomas doesn’t use for questions.

veritaseequitas May 22, 2012 at 12:41 pm

And here’s the other thing. Biden is not Obama’s problem. Obama is Obama’s problem.

Rick May 22, 2012 at 12:46 pm

OUTSTANDING, Veritas! I’m sure with all his Hollywood friends, Bam can get Joe a nice gig playing cocktail lounges in Northern California.

LivnLaVidaBroka May 22, 2012 at 12:47 pm

I can see this happening too. Obama is in real trouble this time around and Axelrod and Messina know it. Hillary would be just the ticket (pun intended).
Especially if Romney picks Christie or Rubio as his running mate. Either one of these men during a debate would make Biden look exactly like the asinine baffoon he is (as if he needs any help!). Will this be the October surprise? Although, I am certainly enjoying watching “the desparate one”. His face has changed – and, not in a good way. Michelle must be ragging him to death about his poll numbers. I can just hear it, “Barack – DO SOMETHING!” “Barack! Barack!” Even the dead people voting won’t bring him to the finish line this time. I don’t even think Hillary can save him. He needs a slap down like nobody’s business – BIG TIME. This is AMERICA you despicable jerk.

Alex Scipio May 23, 2012 at 6:11 pm

My high-schooler would run rings around Biden…. dumbest employed man in America.

ECM May 22, 2012 at 12:51 pm

And who is going to take his place? Hillary? If she really is the ‘smartest woman in the room’ she wouldn’t want anywhere near the swiftly sinking SS Obama.

creeper May 22, 2012 at 5:05 pm

Hillary has already shown us how much distaste she has for Obama by going to work for him for four years.

Andrew P May 23, 2012 at 9:00 pm

Being Sec State gives her a no-fail job, and puts her 4 heartbeats from the Presidency. in the event of a terror attack that kills the Pres, VP, and the whole Congress, the Sec State would be President.

A.J. May 22, 2012 at 1:06 pm

I firmly believe Biden should be dropped into SOMETHING. I don’t think the SCOTUS did anything bad enough to deserve Joe.

ol gator May 22, 2012 at 1:18 pm

all from the man who was guilty of plagiarism and was forced out of his presidential bid back in the 80′s.. he’s so dumb & arrogant , its scary !

Beedogs May 22, 2012 at 1:19 pm

We the people will laugh the country across the oceans if they think we will stand for the idiot Court Jester moving to the Supreme Court.

Lizzy May 22, 2012 at 1:22 pm

Rendition? Well he already blew the undisclosed the ‘secret’ location. I’m
kidding about Rendition;) Ambassador to Iceland?

Alex Scipio May 23, 2012 at 6:13 pm

Iceland piss you off about something?

65andcounting May 22, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Keith: care to expand on your comment “there’s growing talk”. Are you hearing more than the rumors we have been hearing?

I have LONG contended that Obama has put Biden out there to be the fall guy, the idiot, so Obama can look better. I personally feel Biden’s gaffes are orchestrated so Obama can come in and change up the team. Legally, does anyone know how far into the campaign one can change Veeps? What is the process? Does the President have to give a reason? I’m curious.

creeper May 22, 2012 at 5:07 pm

Given that the parties can run anyone they damn well please, qualified or not, it seems reasonable to assume that they could change horses right up until any state’s deadline for filing to be on the ballot.

Rick May 22, 2012 at 2:53 pm
Susan May 22, 2012 at 3:16 pm

Don’t let old Joe give you a headache with all that head slamming. As the idiot court jester that he is, he is tasked with throwing out the trial balloons. He’s just following Axelrod’s order to create a new enemy. The American people weren’t falling for the “hate the rich” meme, so now they’re rolling out the “hate the Tea Party” campaign. Too bad most of us in flyover country are either members of the Tea Party movement or supporters of Tea Party principles of fiscal responsibility, constitutionally limited government, and free markets.

sportinlife10 May 22, 2012 at 3:23 pm

…as George Will says, “Ending spending.”

Rick May 22, 2012 at 5:02 pm
JC May 22, 2012 at 3:37 pm

Everyone assumes Hillary would accept the VP spot. But, would that really set her up for Pres. in 2016…history says no. She would be better off sitting out this one and pinning her hopes on the next election…no matter who wins in Nov.

Andrew P May 23, 2012 at 9:05 pm

Yup. It is VERY rare for one party to win 3 in a row. There is only one advantage for Hillary as VP, and that is her Pakistani billionaire friends might try to get rid of Obi themselves to make their best buddy President.

SnarkEsq. May 22, 2012 at 4:21 pm

Keith, please stop scaring me like this. I really can’t take it.

Iska Waran May 23, 2012 at 3:13 pm

And while Biden’s being dropped into the Supreme Court, maybe we could drop a three-toed sloth in as a Nobel laureate in physics.

RRDRRD May 23, 2012 at 4:41 pm

Well, if Obama, Arafat, and IPCC are the standard for the Peace prize, they may be reconsidering the standards for the other awards.

Wild Bill May 23, 2012 at 3:13 pm

Not a chance. Too old.

Fred Mack May 23, 2012 at 3:17 pm

what makes you think he would ever be confirmed…this is a stupid, stupid article

Wes Miller May 23, 2012 at 7:22 pm

Senators always cut members and former members a great deal of slack. Biden’s qualifications won’t even be questioned, and he’d be confirmed nearly unanimously. It’s a sick club.

JB May 23, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Well, at least with such a nomination, we’ll know for absolutely dead certain where the nominee stands on every issue. And we’ll know he’s lying should he tell us that he will be impartial on any issue and will only rule “according to the law and Constitution.” And the filibuster in the Senate would be fun, wouldn’t it?

JerryA May 23, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Isn’t there a law about ‘cruel and unusual punishment’ that would prevent Joe from going on the Supreme Court? (the punishment, of course would be to ALL of the United States should that travesty occur)

Patrick May 23, 2012 at 3:23 pm

Joe Biden is basically a drooling moron. I can’t think of anyone dumber in politics. To put this laughable buffoon on the court is unthinkable. Unless you made a pact that whatever way Joe voted, the court would decide the opposite. It’s the only safe way to put a narcissistic half-wit like Biden on the court: The Biden Rule, do the opposite of what Joe Biden recommends – always.

David May 23, 2012 at 3:26 pm

OMG…you’ve got to be kidding. I thought only medieval courts had jesters.

Mike Cragar May 23, 2012 at 3:28 pm

LOL – yeah, Brilliant Joe the Serial Plagiarist – bottom-of-the-class grad at prestigious Widener Law School.

Yeah. that makes a lot of sense in Obamaland.

Mike Cragar May 23, 2012 at 3:29 pm

OTOH, Sotomayor got confirmed, so drooling morons have been confirmed before.

Ernie Banks May 23, 2012 at 3:31 pm

This article is all about what is good for Biden. What about what is good for the country? A justice on the Supreme Court is supposed to have good judgement. Does anyone believe at this point that Biden has good judgement?

Not me.

silencedogood May 23, 2012 at 3:32 pm

This isn’t funny, even as a joke. Biden would be, bar none, the most unqualified nominee ever for the Supreme Court. It amazes me he can muster the mental acuity necessary to tie his shoes every morning. Let’s give him a gold star for that and leave the critical government institutions in the capable hands of others.

Steven Franklin May 23, 2012 at 3:37 pm

Why would Republican Senators allow a move which would so strengthen the Democratic ticket?

j011254 May 23, 2012 at 3:42 pm

No, no, no! Aside from his penchant to run off at the mouth, what qualification does he really have for the Surpreme Court? Remember Harriet Miers? He could not get confirmed in the Senate. He does not have the intellectual capacity to sit on the Surpreme Court. He would be an embarrassment every time they held oral arguments. Think about it. Sitting in oral arguement he could not keep his mouth shut. Just one of those famous sneers of his and uttering the dreaded words “It’s not rocket science” would set a new low for legal debate.

BusyDad May 23, 2012 at 3:43 pm

If this happens, it would be poetic justice to see him treated to the same character assassination that he dished out to Robert Bork, one of the most qualified men to be a Supreme Court justice in history.

I hope it gets so bad for him that the term is changed to “Bidening.”

Paul in Colorado May 23, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Only a complete idiot would want their’s to be the heartbeat that separates the Clintons from the Oval Office. Fools rush in where angels fear to tread, Mr. President.

reheiler May 23, 2012 at 3:50 pm

The writer says the problem with Biden at Foggy Bottom is that the jobe entails diplomacy, which is not his strong suit. The Supreme Court would seem to require judgment, which is also not Joe’s strong suit. Come to think of it, Joe’s strong suit is saying thing so bonecrushingly stupid that anyone near him looks brilliant by comparison. In Back to School, Rodney Dangerfield tells his big-and-tall store clients, “You wanna look thin? Hang out with a lot of FAT PEOPLE.” That would seem to be analgous to the criteria Obama employed in tapping Biden for Veep in the first place, revealed in his head-patting absurdity that “nobody messes with Joe.” Moreover, that may be the only decision he’s made that turned out as planned. Why drop the one guy capable of making everyone sincerely hope that you don’t get hit by a bus?

Truth in Paradox May 23, 2012 at 3:59 pm

This is a joke, right? Who would write his opinions, Neil Kinnock? Besides, the hair-plugs are too expensive to waste in such a non photo-op position as SCOTUS.

jred May 23, 2012 at 4:08 pm

I particulary enjoy the statement: “And if he maintains any of his ability to reason – let’s assume for the sake of argument he does ”

Doesn’t this statement also assume that he possessed such an ability in the first place?

JungleCogs May 23, 2012 at 4:14 pm

Oh that would be just great; Biden has a donut hole for a brain.

Chugiak Tea May 23, 2012 at 4:15 pm

Wow, you have got to be kidding…..

J Wingate May 23, 2012 at 4:17 pm

Great idea, nominate a 70-year old to the bench. Makes no sense whatsoever. Also, Joe is indeed probably dreaming of 2016. Most likely he stays on the ticket, because Obama has no choice (unless O is more Machiavellian than Machiavelli himself). In the end, both O and Joe wind up losers. Weak policies — and politicians — don’t win 2nd terms.

Mike May 23, 2012 at 4:31 pm

Only in America! Graduate 76th in a class of 85, proven liar and general baffoon. Grow up to be Vice President & possible Supreme Court Justice. Just shows all the opportunities this country offers, even to idiots.

Alex Scipio May 23, 2012 at 6:18 pm

ESPECIALLY to idiot. Successful people we demonize….

snapper451 May 23, 2012 at 4:33 pm

We don’t need “stupid” or a “fool” on the Supreme Court – no thank you! This is a man who got rich on the government dole, probably a good bit of it from insider trading. It’s also a guy who served as a Senator from Delaware for years, who tried to go to a movie at a Wilmington area theater during the Christmas holidays just before being inaugurated as VP – and was unrecognized by the crowd. I say let’s send him to the “loony bin”.

Kizar Sozay May 23, 2012 at 4:34 pm

Every time I think Joe Biden can’t be any more stupid and obnoxious, he takes it as a personal challenge.

retired military May 23, 2012 at 4:35 pm

I dont think Hillary wants to hitch her post to Obama. Why do that when she would have the Obama millstone around her neck 2016. Why not just run as someone who can save the country after Romney’s 4 years. I think Romney is only slightly more able to run the country than Obama. But then Snoopy would be better than Obama.

JES, Stafford, VA May 23, 2012 at 4:42 pm

I am amazed at all the people who believe that Shillary will save 0bama’s butt in 2012. Shrillary and (and intern-diddling Bill) each bring their own steamer trunks of political baggage to the ticket. Lastly, as someone else has noted, 0bama’s trouble is NOT Biden (God bless him) it is 0BAMA.

kvn May 23, 2012 at 4:45 pm

Obama’s campaign does not have a Biden problem. They have an Obama problem.

Burke May 23, 2012 at 4:56 pm

Is this The Onion ?

Cranios May 23, 2012 at 4:58 pm

By all means, drop Biden into the Supreme Court. Let’s also drop GW Bush in a job in a theoretical physics lab – both would be equally qualified!

Mike May 23, 2012 at 7:29 pm

Think Dubya would be far more qualified for a physics lab than Joe would be for the supreme court.