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WHD Exclusive: Romney Was Conservative in the Womb

Mitt Romney gave a major address at the Conservative Political Action Conference in Washington last week at which he described himself as having “lived conservatism,” saying that his philosophy had originated from “my family, from my faith and from my life’s work.”

But an investigation by White House Dossier, based on extensive interviews – along with phone tapping, break-ins, and other illegal methods – has found that Romney in fact first became a conservative IN THE WOMB.

The Romney campaign declined to comment for this story, saying Romney himself had no recollection of the experience. But medical records and sources who knew the Romney family at the time paint a picture of a fetus steeped in conservative ideology. Romney’s conservatism at that stage was apparently already very severe.

This sonogram of Mitt Romney in the womb – an early example of the technology’s use – was obtained exclusively by White House Dossier. It clearly shows a pre-natal Romney reading “The Road to Serfdom” by Friedrich Hayek.

According to friends of Mrs. Romney – his mother Mrs. Romney, not his wife Mrs. Romney – a pregnant Mrs. Romney sang the following lullaby to her gestating baby Mitt:

Twinkle, twinkle little star,
The Soviet Union isn’t up to par;
Free markets are always right,
Liberals are so uptight;
Twinkle, twinkle little star,
A true conservative, yes you are.

According to three eyewitnesses who were with Mrs. Romney at times when she sang this lullaby, kicks could be felt on her abdomen as the fetal Romney reacted with joy to the melody and its words.

Fellow Republican presidential candidate Newt Gingrich questioned whether Romney was really a conservative at such an early stage.

“As a historian, I can think of only three people who were conservative in the womb: Me, William F. Buckley, and Lyndon Johnson, though environmental factors subsequently changed Johnson into a liberal.”

The campaign of Rick Santorum claimed to have eggs extracted from his mother’s ovaries which would demonstrate that he was conservative even before conception. However, the campaign has refused to release the eggs or provide documentation of any analysis that would show them to be conservative.

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19 Responses to WHD Exclusive: Romney Was Conservative in the Womb

  1. Hilarious Keith. The way all these candidates are fighting over who is the most conservative is really a good sign. The Tea party is proving to be a positive influence on the Republican party and conservatism is on the rise!

  2. What a brave womyn Mrs. Romney, Sr., is. In addition to enduring the kicks and elbows of the L’il Mitten…she also ENDURED an early version of what Joy Behar (wasn’t her show cancelled?) calls a “Taliban*” inflicted ultrasound.

    What a gal!

    *(or for those in the WH inner circle “TaahLEEbonn”)

    FWIW, Myth. Rick, and Noot all need to focus (like a laser) on Dear Leader. NOT each other.

  3. HI KEITH. MY FRIEND. THIS IS PETE FROM ILLINOIS, WE CHATTED ABOUT 4 MONTHS AGO. ON A SUBJECT, ABOUT POLITICS, BUT I DID NOT GIVE YOU ALL THE INFORMATION, BUT DO YOU KNOW OUT OF ALL THE ITEMS A PERSON SENDS THROUGH E MAIL, YOU… MY… FRIEND WAS THE ONLY ONE THAT ANSWERED MY MAIL. AND TO THAT I THANK YOU. ALSO I LISTEN A LOT TO ALL THE HUB BUB, THAT IS BEIN SPREAD, AND SOMETIMES IT IS A REAL….CIRCUS. I KNOW A PERSON IN YOUR POSITION CANNOT THINK OF ALL THE FOLLOW UPS, AND THINK OF ALL TE LITTLE THINGS THAT I DO, JUST WHEN I AM SITTING IN THE CHAIR. BUT IF YOU WOULD ALLOW ME I WOULD LOVE TO SEND YOU SOME FOLLOW UPS, ABOUT DIFFERENT SUBJECTS, AND TH CHANNEL, AND THE TIME, AND THE NAME OF THE PERSON, YOU ARE VERY GOOD, A I LOVE READING YOUR MAIL. BEING I HAVE A PERSON THAT I CAN ENJOY , I WOULD LIKE THAT VERY MUCH. IF NOT…. JUST KEEP SENDING ME THE MAIL. OHHHHHHH THE STORY YOU JUST SENT ME ON ROMNEY THE CON. NOW MY FRIEND THAT IS A VERY YOUNG CONSERVATIVE, BUTTTTTTTTT MAYBE THEY NEW THAT 9 MONTHS BE HE WAS WELCOMED IN TO THE WORLD. THANK YOU HOPE TO HEAR BACK IN YOUR SPARE TIME. LOL LOL SEE YA PETE

  4. Search this [the mormon plan for America and the rise of Mitt Mitt Romney]and[Romney…..The man who would be God]and[The truth about mormons and Christianity]and[is Mitt Romney’s candidacy part of the Eteral plan of the mormon church?]Now do you still believe Romney is conservative or a conservative mormon?…………..the red neck from western pa

  5. Hilarious, Keith.

    We may also observe that though he was conservative in the womb (slogan: “No womb for liberalism”) it’s been downhill ever since.