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Obama Temporarily Steps Down; Will Campaign Full Time

by Keith Koffler on February 13, 2012, 3:42 pm

President Obama today announced that he is stepping down as president until after Election Day so he can focus all his time on campaigning.

“Let’s just forget it,” Obama said in an interview with Barbara Walters. “Nobody’s buying this. I’m already mainly campaigning. This just formalizes the arrangement.”

Obama’s decision to temporarily cede the presidency to Vice President Joseph Biden comes amid criticism that the budget he released today does more for Obama’s political prospects than the country’s economic future.

Obama announced the budget at a rally this morning in Annandale Virginia, using much the same language he does on the campaign trail, as Politico noted.

Obama confirmed to Walters that his campaign had in fact written the budget, and that he had sent the entire staff of the White House Office of Management and Budget on maternity leave back in November.

“The new budget I released today was produced at our campaign headquarters in Chicago by David Axelrod,” Obama told Walters. “He’s is a wizard with numbers, though mostly it’s been with polls. This is the first time he’s tried writing a federal budget. I think he did just great.”

Obama admitted, though, that Axelrod had some trouble with addition while composing the budget.

“We kept tellin’ him, ‘Hey Axe, if you spend more than you take in, it’s not going to add up.’ And he was like, ‘Naww, it works baby!’ and I’m like, ‘You, Axe, are a character!’”

The White House budget would spend $3.79 trillion in 2012 while collecting $2.47 trillion, resulting in a deficit of $1.32 trillion, the fourth year in a row the deficit has exceeded $1 trillion. Obama would do almost nothing to rein in entitlements, the chief driver of the deficit, while raising taxes on the rich.

“Soak the rich! Soak the rich!” Obama yelled to a stunned Barbara Walters, who is very rich. “I mean – damn – I mean, everyone has to do their fair share . . . blew it, sorry.”

Meanwhile, the budget has billions in new spending on priorities that will form the centerpiece of Obama’s campaign, like funding for education and renewable energy – not to mention a $476 billion six-year transportation spending initiative.

Obama blamed Republicans for the deficit. “They’re making me do this. They upset me, and when I’m stressed, I spend. I’m working on it.”

Top White House aides fanned out on TV Sunday to defend the president’s proposal.

“Our strategy for combatting the deficit is to keep right on spending,” said White House Chief of Staff and former OMB Director Jack Lew during an appearance Sunday on Meet the Press. Lew, who appeared to have been drugged, continued, “By continuing to spend trillions more than we can afford and hardly touching entitlements, we can solve all our nation’s fiscal problems.”

Lew than added, “Our strategy for combatting the deficit is to keep right on spending.¬†Our strategy for combatting the deficit is to keep right on spending,” before being led out of the studio by White House political adviser David Plouffe.

Reached in the game room at Washington’s Sproul Naval Observatory, where he resides, Biden appeared thunderstruck by the news he would temporarily assume the president’s duties.

“Wow, I don’t even know where I am half the time. Does anyone have a chocolate bar?”

Meanwhile, Chinese President Hu Jintao expressed satisfaction with the new leverage his country would have over the United States as China increases its lending to fund America’s spending.

“Bark like a dog, USA! Speak! Roll over.”

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{ 32 comments… read them below or add one }

judybeth February 13, 2012 at 4:00 pm

Keith, Thanks! “Laughter is the Best Medicine” and it is free! After hearing the BHO Budget Plan, I suddenly needed something for a “recurring headache” that started in 2008! Now, you have cheered me UP a little….
My most despised words/phrases/sounds that give me headaches are: trillion, deficit spending, fair share, & BHO’s condesending, smirky voice! jb

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FromMissouri2 February 13, 2012 at 4:01 pm

You keep this up Keith and MM will have you on there LIST! Great article and funny to say the least!

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pianogirl88 February 13, 2012 at 4:01 pm

Czippy will do less damage to the country if he is out of the WH and on the campaign trail, so this is a good thing. Joe “JOBS is a three letter word” Biden will just look goofy and happy and do what ME-chelle Antoinette tells him to do.

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TJ February 13, 2012 at 4:15 pm

terribly sorry, but that would be “cede” the office, not “seed” the office. unless you’re trying for some sort of farm joke…

-tj

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pianogirl88 February 13, 2012 at 4:18 pm

With all due respect, with all the manure in and around the WH, and with ME-chelle’s garden, I do believe “seed” is the correct word! :~)

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srdem65 February 13, 2012 at 4:31 pm

good one!!

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Jojo February 13, 2012 at 4:43 pm

You said manure… LOL

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pianogirl88 February 13, 2012 at 8:27 pm

I almost used the “S” word, but didn’t want to get banned!

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rulierose February 13, 2012 at 6:07 pm

I’m glad I’m not the only Fussy Proofreader on the interwebs! I was going to note this as well.

but I’m kind of liking all the manure-talk that goes with “seed” ;-)

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Mark Davis, MD February 13, 2012 at 4:19 pm

I read the first words of the article and became elated at the thought Obama was stepping aside, even for a short time. Then the second sentence came into sight. Thanks for the few seconds of elation, MD

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MarjoJimbo February 13, 2012 at 4:45 pm

I thought it was for real at first. It didn’t take too long to realize it wasn’t: too good to be true.

Thanks for the laugh, Keith.

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Lizzy February 13, 2012 at 7:20 pm

As did I might as well be:). Keith stealth humor.

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Star February 13, 2012 at 4:23 pm

The Daily Brash?

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Star February 13, 2012 at 4:27 pm

I did hear Lew was giving a Webinar on how to demean the voter;s intelligence.

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Star February 13, 2012 at 4:38 pm

This from a voter who can’t punctuate–sigh.

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Lanie February 13, 2012 at 4:30 pm

Truly a gift to all of the little “I’s”. (It’s all about me!) Facebook (I, I, I), I-Wireless (I, I, I,), IPOD, IPAD (triple I, I, I).

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srdem65 February 13, 2012 at 4:34 pm

How could you play with us? LOL….
“President” Biden would play out like a skit on SNL.

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Jojo February 13, 2012 at 4:45 pm

I keep watching Greece and wondering when that is going to be us… If Obama is in the WH another 4 years, it will definitely be sooner, rather than later…

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rawheadrex February 13, 2012 at 4:53 pm

Thanks for a laugh as the country continues its collision course with the iceberg of fiscal insanity.

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DeniseVB February 13, 2012 at 5:05 pm
Susan February 13, 2012 at 6:01 pm

Love Steven Crowder’s comedy. Even AlfonZo Rachel made an appearance in his ‘rap video’. Both these young men are patriots.

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lc southern February 13, 2012 at 5:12 pm

Ha-ha best laugh I’ve had all day. Thanks!

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Susan February 13, 2012 at 5:37 pm

Got a great laugh out of this Keith. Thank you. That Lew guy sounded more like a zombie than an intelligent, thinking bureaucrat. He answered every question by repeating the talking points issued by rear leader’s propaganda team (Media Matters) without ever really answering the questions. Not to mention the big lie about Republicans filibustering the budget in the Senate. They can’t and he knew it, but that didn’t stop him from flat out lying about it.

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creeper February 13, 2012 at 5:53 pm

I wish.

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anneinarkansas February 13, 2012 at 6:23 pm

Too bad it is satire as the facts are the facts.

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Brenda A. February 13, 2012 at 6:37 pm

Cede.

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William February 13, 2012 at 6:43 pm

Stepping down? Based on everything he’s been saying, it sounds like he has yet to take office.

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Knothead February 13, 2012 at 8:38 pm

As far as I’m concerned Mr. Obama would have to step up to step down.

Meanwhile Eric “Snake in the Grass” Holder slithered into Houston Texas today to scout out donors and prep for Obummer’s fundraiser with people to stupid to realize they are just pawns.
And to play the race card again.

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QueenOfScott February 13, 2012 at 8:40 pm

Well, three years in and finally some turth! Even if we get it sarcastically…

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Cooper February 13, 2012 at 9:55 pm

Great laugh piece Keith! If only it were true, sigh.
Biden certainly could do no worse and would be even more entertaining as the pompous ass white guy.

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AlwaysHappy February 14, 2012 at 12:47 pm

If this isn’t the dumbest thing I have ever heard! Since when and how does a President ‘step-down’ from office in order to campaign??!! Is his status that shakey?? I have never heard of such a thing! Is it even legal?? Joe Biden? What a joke! I wouldn’t trust Joe Biden in the Senate barbershop! Our President was elected to run our country! So please run it!!!

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Doug Pearson February 15, 2012 at 5:18 am

After reading this you experience four hours of sustained laughter… call your doctor.

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