As of now, I am in control here, in the White House

Obama: Happy Birthday Zooey!

President Obama recently sent actress and singer/songwriter Zooey Deschanel a happy birthday letter.

He loves his Hollywood connections, and personally I think he believes it’s just really cool that he can commune with hot actresses who admire him. Nothing salacious. Just a little arrested development issue.

Remember that email penpal thing he had going a few years ago with Scarlett Johansson?

And, really, why was Angelina Jolie over at the Oval Office the other day? They said it was to discuss her international charitable work. I mean, she does a good job on this, but please.

Here’s the letter to Zooey.

A “Dear Zooey” letter from the president of the United States.

YOU CAN’T MAKE THIS UP!

Anyway Zooey, for all you do – and whoever you are, and whatever it is you do for people – White House Dossier and, I think the rest of America, thanks you as well.

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35 Responses to Obama: Happy Birthday Zooey!

  1. Oh. My.God. I finally watched one of her shows, it was all about her difficulty saying the word “penis”. Cue laugh track. Though I can imagine our President giggling like a 13 year old silly boy during the whole episode. Geeesh.

  2. So, who is this person? A campaign contributor?

    Yeah, our cool Prez making cool with cool celebs. How cool. I am so glad that our President and Mrs. are so down with today’s celebs. Maybe they’ll let The Wife appear on some more award shows.

    • She played Elf’s girlfriend. Also SJP’s roommate in Failure to Launch, but I don’t think anyone saw that movie ;) Also has a sitcom, The New Girl (who lives with a buncha fellas platonically).

  3. Surely the WhiteHouse didn’t release this letter, so it must have been published by the actress or her agents. Assuming that it isn’t a hoax or a forgery, something’s really gone wrong in Obamaland.

    He’s flying to DisneyWorld to give a short speech before he flies to NewYork to shake down some donors. DisneyWorld?

    • Why is he going to Disney World? He already lives in “LaLaLand.”

      Both Deschanel sisters are actresses, and Zooey is the cuter of the two; as far as acting skills, both are very stiff in their performances and even in interviews. Maybe that is why Obama is so enamored with her, one stiffy to another.

      • Don’t knock success, (of the Deschanel sisters) it is unbecoming. I can only guess what the older one makes going into the eigth year of BONES. definitely in the 1 percent.

        • Mike,
          I’m not knocking the Deschanel sister’s success, I think it is great. I enjoy the show “Bones” although Temperance is not my favorite character. It is just that I think their acting is stiff, and they also appear that way when they are in interviews. That is simply my opinion, not a knock at their success.

          Sorry if you took it that way.

  4. He manages to do everything except the job he was elected (?) to do! Why is he allowed to run for re-election after being M.I.A. for 3 years??? He should get a four year term in Federal prison for dereliction of duty and mis-appropriation of funds….not to mention abuse of power!

    • As I was saying before WordPress had a conniption–this is tacky. I think you can request such a letter for people turning 100–a la Willard Scott–but H’wood hotties, that I had not heard of.

  5. Sounds like the same kind of drivel Teen magazine would come up with. We have a pop star wannabe serving as president of the US. We sure are paying the price for the avarice of our fellow Americans who look to him as their own American idol.

  6. Who names their kid “Zooey”??? And the way it’s spelled, it should be pronounced “Zoo – ee,” not as in Zoey, Zoe, etc., whatever.

    Why can’t we have normal names anymore? Or normal names that aren’t spelled phonetically?!

      • I feel sorry for anyone who has to take orders over the phone. Anytime they ask for a name, even a simple name, they’ll have to ask for the spelling.

        Michael?
        Mychel?
        Mikeal?

        or

        Julie
        Jewlee
        Juleigh

        you get the point

        • Steve,
          I think the name thing come from three reasons.
          1. Too many parents what their kids to have “individuality” so they give them weirdly spelled names.

          2. We live in a society that has deemed that EVERYONE get a trophy or ribbon for anything they participate in.

          3. We have degenerated into a society that cannot spell, or even has a grasp of the English language. I had a case once where the parents name their son Shaheed but spelled it, and I’m not making this up, “Shithead.”

          So in sum, take two generations that can’t spell or even speak proper English; make everyone think they are entitled to something; and while individuality is a great thing, isolate your child societally due to a fubared named and you the results we are seeing as far as names in America.

          • Boy that last sentence was bad – must be the medication. It should read: “isolate your child societally due to a fubared name and you have the results we are seeing as far as names in America.”

    • Not to defend it too much, but it could be some sort of family tradition. I have and ex-girlfriend named “Sloane” and my grandfather was “Burdo”. It’s possible that this comes from some distant, past tradition.

  7. Id hit that as far as Zooey, maybe twice:), but the grifter in chief needs to start working, Him and that idiot Pelosi actually think they are going to stay in power,lol

  8. Dear Zooey,

    MeMeMeMeChelle will soon embark on another vacation without me on Air Force 2. Come on over when she leaves town, I have a special birthday present for you. Bring along a boyfriend, and we’ll have a party together to celebrate.

    Barry

  9. there are certain classes of people who should get personal birthday greetings from the prez: 100-year-old veterans, national heroes, former presidents. “indie starlets” aren’t usually included.

    but then again, everything this president does is historic. I can only hope for a “historic” landslide in November as the Republicans win back the White House.