Well, we’ve done it. The chief of the White House Dossier investigative unit, Bob Woodboard, has obtained a the original copy of President Obama’s 2012 New Year’s resolutions.
We present here the top ten of those resolutions, exactly as written by Obama. As you’ll note, he appears to have changed his mind on one of them.
1. Convince Iran once and for all that we mean it no harm.
2. Throw Mrs. Robinson out of the White House.
3. Start hitting from the men’s tee.
4. Confess my love for Angela Merkel.
5. Enter twelve step program to help me stop expanding government.
6. Catch the guy who stabbed Muammar Qaddafi in the ass.
7. Stand up to Michelle and tell her to stop taking so many vacations.
8. Find out who is running economic policy and fire them.
9. Try not to look so natural when bowing to Saudi leaders.
10. Next time Bo asks for a flight on his own private Air Force jet, say, “No, bad dog!”
Please let me know if there are any others you are aware of . . .