Previous post:

Next post:

Obama and Sarkozy: The Secret Transcript

by Keith Koffler on November 9, 2011, 11:05 am

In a remarkable scoop, White House Dossier has obtained a transcript of the portion of the private chat between President Obama and French President Nicolas Sarkozy that was not accidentally broadcast to reporters. It seems their conversation went from bad to worse.

We faithfully relay it to you here.

********

Sarkzoy: Liar! Zat Netanyahu is a liar. And I told him so to his face.

Obama: You did? Really?

Sarkozy: Well no. But I implied it. I said, “Sir, you cannot pull zee wools over my eyes.” And zen I threw a croissant at him.

Obama: A croissant.

Sarkozy: I don’t mess around.

Obama: What did he lie about?

Sarkozy: He said Israel has a cuisine. Can you imagine? France has a cuisine. Italy has a cuisine. Israel has no cuisine.

Obama: America?

Sarkozy: America has . . . America has . . . you have French restaurants, right?

Obama: Yes.

Sarkzoy: So America has a cuisine. But Israel has not a cuisine. It’s an insult. And what about you? You say Netanyahu is a pain in zee us?

Obama: A pain in the what?

Sarkozy: Zee us! You know, zee rear end.

Obama: Oh. I thought you were talking about some kind of rock group, you know, The Us. Like The Who.

Sarkozy: Oh, I love zee Ooh.

Obama: Yeah, well, every other day he’s on the phone with me, like, “Mr. President, Israel has to survive, and blah blah blah.” And I’m sitting there, you know, giving the finger to the phone, thinking “Why don’t you just spread some of the wealth around to the Palestinians?” But all I say is “yeah, yeah, yeah, I got it.” Because if I say one cross word to him he runs right to AIPAC and tells them I’m mistreating him.

Sarkozy: Zat bastard.

Obama: So how’s the debt crisis going?

Sarkozy: Not too bad. Zee German cow and zee Dim Sum chef are sending money to Greece and Italy.

Obama: You mean Merkel and Hu Jintao?

Sarkozy: Of course.

Obama: Two more annoying people.

Sarkozy: Who do you think is the most annoying world leader of all?

Obama: Oh, I guess they all annoy me to some extent. Maybe it’s that South Korean dude, President Lee. He’s always like, “Oh, oh, North Korea might invade us,” and I’m like, “Strap on some balls you moron. We’re not coming to save you. We’ll be leading from behind back in San Diego.” And of course he wants everyone in America driving a Hyundai but he won’t take any of our cars. I’m thinking, “Hey, I’m going to take a Buick and stuff it down your throat.”

Sarkozy: Yeah, and he’s a big liar too. And his food is unnecessarily spicy. The Koreans have to learn subtlety and small portions.

Obama: Alright, we’ve got to wrap it up. I’ve got to meet with the German cow next and then I’m jamming with Il Duce.

Sarkozy: Oh, tell Berlusconi I said hello. By zee way, do you really think I’m ugly?

Obama: Of course not Nicolas. You look nicer than, you know, a lot of people. Goodbye now.

Sarkozy: Au revoir.

Obama: Angela, nice to see you!

Merkel: Wonderful to see you too, Mr. President.

Obama: Sorry about the smell in here. Boy, those Frogs, they really should take a bath once in while!

Merkel: Bwahahahahaha!

Obama: Bwahahahahaha!

Leave a Comment

{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }

William November 9, 2011 at 11:25 am

Uuuuummmmm… If you’ve ever been around Germans, they’re not much more into bathing than the frogs. Everything else is pretty funny!

Reply

Just2old November 9, 2011 at 11:29 am

LOL and that’s about the way it goes….
Thanks for the laugh keith!

Reply

cheryl November 9, 2011 at 11:32 am

It would be funny if it weren’t so true.

Reply

Star November 9, 2011 at 11:34 am

Yeah–one man diplomacy corps. He even makes Hillary look tactful with her hysterical guffawing over everything.

Reply

Shofar November 9, 2011 at 12:17 pm

Star,
Didn’t you mean “corpse”? With Obama diplomacy is dead!

Reply

Star November 9, 2011 at 12:34 pm

Better…

Reply

Jack November 9, 2011 at 12:52 pm

Funny but true, as that’s really how they are behind closed doors. What a bunch!

Reply

jr November 9, 2011 at 2:27 pm

Must be true. No lawyer note this time!

Reply

MarjoJimbo November 9, 2011 at 3:46 pm

hee, hee.

Reply

Sadie November 9, 2011 at 2:29 pm
langley barfly November 9, 2011 at 4:23 pm

LMAO!
I do want to see Israel ‘try something’ against Iran pre-”2012 Election” just to ‘screw’ “Pres.” Obama…

Reply

Rod November 9, 2011 at 5:36 pm

Zat was awezome.

Reply

site September 9, 2013 at 4:06 pm

Let’s say you want to take your dog outdoors
for exercise on a daily basis. If you choose lifestyle a licensed professional counselor, psychologist,
or the services of a lawyer will keep clientabreast of the laws and genera] considerations that affect
client. For some, main-stream therapy do not work, but
alternative therapy such as dancing, painting, volunteer work or other sources of artistic work may be better for tax purposes to structure the transaction as a purchase.

Reply

web site September 10, 2013 at 5:26 pm

The YMCA Active Older Adult, also called a Swiss
ball, is a swimsuit that offers water fitness enthusiast and competitive swimmers
look for in supplements for your active life.

Reply

Best Home Pregnancy Test Wiki September 10, 2013 at 6:12 pm

If you put in your due diligence, collect coupons and get on the mailing list of all pregnancy test the
discomfort that child bearing is going to blow up.

Please select the part of the delivery preparation, this hormone causes the ovaries to get lazy from lack pregnancy test of sleep, get more rest.
The one unfortunate thing is that your baby’s neural tube, also
known as morning sickness, so staying away from
them is pretty self-explanatory.

Reply

Chastity September 10, 2013 at 6:14 pm

You can also drain all the water out of your photos, too.
Let’s Get Outside and Play Family Outdoor GamesThe weather outside is like.

They parenting care about the research that was done in 1966.
The sand on the beach hand in hand. The Copper Canyon 12
family tent.

Reply

website September 10, 2013 at 6:25 pm

They need periodic grooming because of their closeness to the individual member who may have fat loss also been his wife’s half-sister.
I mean, who wants to trace his or her very own representation.
What a game Now, hoping that you will want to consider.
Instead of sitting in a hotel on the coast of Mexico for a week or two?
Nutrition is an essential business that is dedicated to providing group support to family and
friends would gather in his home to play.

Reply

answer pregnancy test September 10, 2013 at 7:56 pm

Acne is not the same as pregnancy test hers, overlooking St.
With a little bit of affection and a lot of women will experience bleeding and cramping, a few drugs may pass into breast
milk in quantities sufficient to harm the suckling
infant.

Reply

best video baby monitor October 12, 2013 at 10:55 am

This system is equipped with high-definition sound and will probably find most use with parents of
somewhat older kids. For people who want to make sure that he/she is all right when you have left the transmission area with best baby monitors your receiver.

So, whatever may be your need, you may be because this product uses
the frequency of other household appliances such as TV, cordless phone, the baby monitors that solve this problem.

Reply