In a grand and false exclusive, White House Dossier has learned that President Obama, his reelection chances looking iffy, has already begun work on a new post-presidency book.
According sources at two publishing firms – Random House and Specific House, the president is testing several titles for his latest tome. White House Dossier has obtained a list of the ten most likely of the titles and presents them here for your perusal.
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1. Dreams From My Uncle Onyango Obama
2. How to Bow to World Leaders Without Straining Your Lower Back
3. Wrecking the Economy for Dummies
4. Seven Ways to Make Israeli Prime Ministers Really Angry
5. My Biggest Regret: Why I Should Never Have Sought Advice from a Portuguese Waterdog
6. You Can Do It Too: Tips for Getting Jobs for which You Have No Experience
7. Tails I Win: The Proper Way to Eat Lobster
8. Surrender: A Foreign Policy Strategy for the 21st Century
9. The Audacity of Writing Two Autobiographies, and Now a Third
10. My Secret Agenda: How I Was Sent to Earth from Mars to Weaken the United States and Pave the Way for the 2014 Martian Invasion
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These are the ones I found out about. Are there any that you’ve discovered?
H/T to Sarah Nelson who tweets at @Sarahside for thinking of the book title idea!
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I plan to read and absorb all of the books.
I will then be ready to run for president.
Who will care if I am white, female, Southern, and 75 years old?
I will need all of your votes but after all of that reading, I will be prepared.
You’ve got my vote, Anne.
He is really working hard to do everything on that list!
#11 The Movie: My name is barry- a sordid tale of one mans wicked ,evil and
ego driven journey to the top using any means to get there & any means to stay there.. so help him allah !
A bit of humor is indeed refreshing Keith.
Keep up the good work.
I am torn between #9 and # 10
#11 – How To Con The American People.
Heard that he’s also shopping some children’s’ books:
1) My Burger is for Me, Your Peas are for You
2) Little Red Riding Hood and the Big Bad Corporate Jet Owner
3) The Call of the Wild Zuccotti Park
4) Obamacare’s Web
5) The Legend of Sleepy House of Representatives
Excellent William!
How about “MY burger is for me, and so is YOURS!”
Stolen from the Talking Heads, “And I ask myself, how did I get here?”
That was perfect
11. “How I Built The Great Intercontinental Railway”
12. “Magic Tricks: Disappearing College Transcripts ”
13. “More Magic Tricks: Turn Your Friends French Fries into Apple Slices”
14. “Drones For Dummies”
15. “Even More Magi Tricks: Turn Billion Dollar Deficits into Trillion Dollar Deficits”
Drones for Dummies–love it.
Thanks for lightening the mood of your readers Keith. It’s nice to be able to laugh once in awhile. By the way, Hannity mentioned one of the statements Mr. Cain made that got him caught up on charges of sexual harassment — “Darlin’, do you mind doctoring my tea for me?” Sheesh…. what a dastardly man.
“His” And “Hers” Jumbo Jets”, Secrets For A Happy Marriage
“Golf Every Weekend”, Secrets For A Happy Husband
“Lobsters And Diamonds”, Secrets For A Happy Wife
How to Lie With a Straight Face: Practice Daily
The best flag in the entire nation!!
I SO agree!
How about…
U.S. State Department: Steal or Buy This Book
Didn’t Abbie Hoffman already write that book?
What about…
“My Illicit Affair With Mr. TelePrompter”
“How To Cultivate Union Thugs As Friends”
“Here’s a Shovel, Get Ready”
“Stimulus for Everyone”
“Air Force One Vacation Destinations” w/ Michelle’s shopping tips
“Creating Green Energy…Here’s a Billion”
Lord of the Lies.
Now THAT’S profound. You must be articulate (please don’t be offended)
I’d submit a few but I don’t think they publish many book titles with expletives and references to female anatomy in the title.
Sure they do. Just find a “progressive” publisher. Remember, it’s NO BIG @#$%^&* DEAL, to paraphrase the VPOTUS.
How about:
“An Electric Car In Every Garage An A Lobster In Every Pot”
Atlas of the 57 States and the Famous Corpse Men Who Live There
How about….The Art of the Con Game…or How to Promise and Never Change….How to Play War Games and Lose
These books–they are all comics, right?
How I Managed to Embarrass America at the G20 — Without Really Trying.
Worldwide financial collapse? Violence in the streets of Oakland? That’s nothing…he had other things in mind on his trip to Cannes.
“I was hoping to come and see some movies.”
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2057037/G20-summit-2011-Obama-pokes-fun-Nicolas-Sarkozy-Cannes.html
After reading that story, how about:
“How to be a douche on the world stage”
Just like the #occupuds and other liberals – avoid work and demand to be amused.
Is he smacking on his Nicorette gun (thanks, Granny Jan) as he continues to embaress (sp?) us?
What fun! Clever and witty.
“How I Managed to Spend the Taxpayers Money Even When They Didn’t Have It”
The Audacity of Having William Ayers Write Your Autobiography
More titles:
“After the Fall…Tales of a failed Administration”
“Veni vidi vici… Memoirs of a benificent Emperor”
“Yes I did… How to destroyed America and shave 5 strokes off your game”
“Executive Orders… The Dao of leadership”
“The Long Con… How to get rich, destroy an economy and improve your long game”
“Nothing to it…How I stopped the rising of the sea and healed the planet”
“I got mine, get Yours! The Idiot’s guide to winning a Nobel Peace Prize”
“Benevolent Despot…How I educated America in the evils of success”
Just a few humble submissions.
“Advanced Telepromptors 201″
“Group Photography for Dummies”
Dr. Chicago
We have a winner.
Excellent. Definitely see the similarity between the Bolshevik Strelnikov and Comrade Barry…
No doubt it’ll win a Nobel Prize……
No double indemnity on those?
I Have The Right To Be Uppity…I Am Half White!
“If I Did It” A hypothetical description of how I would have destroyed the economy if I wanted to.
Nicely done!
New title for book: How to accomplish what Karl Marx and Joseph Stalin couldn’t.
Keith, you never fail to amaze me…wish I were as clever…your blog is the best I read each day.
Proposed title for Mr Obama’s next book, as suggested by Boston Herald Columnist and radio talk show host Howie Carr:
“Base on Balls, A Life of Intentional Passes.”
OBAMA– OSAMA—– Letters we shared,
A PURPOSE DRIVEN STRIFE.
By Barrak Hussien Obama
How I destroyed race relations it America.
Forward by: Al Sharpton,Jerimiah Wreight, and Jesse Jackson.
Acknowledgements to: The new and improved Black Panthers with a shout out to those adorable Neo Nazis.
Dedicated to: Marx, Lenin, Keynes and Alinsky, who’s loathing of God and country inspired me attack everything that made America great.
IT TAKES A PILLAGE.
By Barry Obama,
Foward by:Rahm Emanuel, George Soros et al.
catch Barry’s weekly articles usually found in the fifth column of many newspapers.