As of now, I am in control here, in the White House

Michelle’s Bad Eating Habits Scientifically Chronicled

Does Michelle Obama really over-satiate herself on adipose-inducing feasts while lecturing kids to clean up their diets?

Yes, according to the most scientific study to date.

Obviously intending to counter Michelle’s critics, food writer Marian Burros, working for POLITICO, treated herself to lunch and/or dinner at “the 33 or more restaurants in the Washington area” where Michelle has grazed in Washington since her husband took office.

Can you imagine? Such diligence and sacrifice.

The result is a classic unintended scientific finding. Burros appears to have set out to prove that Mrs. Obama eats like an undernourished wild rabbit, citing the “vitriol” poured on her concerning her food habits by “anti-Obama blogs.”

In fact, Burros finds – though she doesn’t acknowledge it – that the excess weight Michelle is usually carrying around was not put there by a mysterious and unwelcome Act of God.

She eats poorly.

Burros discovers and celebrates that Michelle does eat vegetables. But that’s like saying a murderer sometimes commits burglaries. The problem is with Michelle’s core diet, much of which seems to be fried, sitting on a bone, or infested with sucrose.

Here at White House Dossier, we have a little fun with Michelle’s marked proclivity to overeat and overeat and serve unhealthy food to guests again and again, while pointing out the hypocrisy of her simultaneously telling others how to eat.

Not since Richard Simmons’s paunch protruded over his skimpy shorts has a worse Apostle of the path to health presented themselves to the public.

Let’s take a quote from a paragraph in the Burros piece in which the author says Michelle “is a careful eater, practicing what she preaches.” She then notes:

Sometimes she skips dessert.

SOMETIMES??

You advocate healthy eating and you deprive yourself of dessert only sometimes?

Actually, by the look of the article, it seems like rarely is more accurate. Here are a few samples of her desserts, taken directly from the article.

  • Napoleon crème brûlée
  • A 15-layer carrot cake
  • Bittersweet molten chocolate cake with cappuccino ice cream
  • Blueberry kulfi and apple jalabi
  • Strawberry shortcake
  • A log-shaped, flourless chocolate cake with a rosemary ganache
  • Warm ricotta beignets
  • Blueberry sorbet – Note from the author: “She passed up the tiramisu.” Such willpower.
  • A perfectly balanced warm chocolate bread pudding
  • Banana cream pie
  • Key lime pie, bread pudding and banana pineapple cake (shared)
  • Birthday cake

Let’s look at some of the appetizers – she doesn’t seem to miss many of those – and main courses. Here are a few of her meals

  • Soft-shell crab cooked tempura style with a ratatouille sauce; an “ethereal lobster burger” with scallop mousse and housemade chips
  • Rack of lamb 
  • Fried green tomatoes, avocado and corn salsa and tomato relish (shared); fried oysters; a hanger steak with fried onion rings and succotash
  • Butter poached lobster on butternut squash with a brown butter emulsion; venison au poivre and corn cake
  • Watermelon salad with feta; fried oyster po’ boy; followed by samples of other items on the table: seafood crepe, shrimp and grits and buttermilk biscuits

There’s more, and there are a few healthier items, but you get the idea.

In addition, she “usually” starts her meal with a dirty martini and then follows it with wine, setting a baseline of at least 300 calories before we even start counting food.

I have three words for Mrs. Obama, each of which she is certain to ignore:

PLEASE, TAKE ME!

197 Responses to Michelle’s Bad Eating Habits Scientifically Chronicled

  1. FLOTUS a hypocrite; what a surprise! Thanks Keith but I’d have to pass going to dinner with her. My appetite would be ruined before the first dirty Martini!

  2. With friends like these…

    http://washingtonexaminer.com/blogs/yeas-nays/2011/10/paula-dean-michelle-obama-likes-fried-food-too#ixzz1aU7SkVgz

    “Well, I did a show with Michelle and I just loved being with her,” Deen told Yeas & Nays. “She probably ate more than any other guest I’ve ever had on the show —she kept eating even during commercials.” Deen taught Obama how to fry shrimp during a TV segment in September before the 2008 presidential election. “You know what their favorite foods are — it’s hot wings, you know, those kinds of foods that are not necessarily top-of-the-list healthy foods, so she’s no different than the rest of us,” Deen said. “We love those kinds of foods, we just know that we can’t eat them everyday.”

  3. How can these gluttons sleep at night with such hypocrisy?
    I know: ENTITLEMENT ! the two obombos with so many peeps slobbering over their “royalty status” actually believe in it … how else can you explain this lifestyle ? such behavior is usually reserved for dictators & thugs of rogue nations.. so shameful to see the American Presidency abused, distorted, and unappreciated by such vermin as this..

  4. I followed this link from Drudge, expect a few hundred responses! As well as the ubiquitous trolls.

    I feel like a broken record commenting on all of the occasions of “Do as I say, not as I do” that goes on with the White House. Can’t wait until the election.

  5. You know, I really don’t care what she eats. What I do care about is Mrs. O telling everyone else what to eat while pretending she eats well.

    What a fake.

    • And to think I was “shocked” by a 15 layer Carrot Cake! lol I haven’t eaten as I should & for someone who got A’s in H.S. & Nursing School in Nutrition, I have no excuse. But now having 2 knees to be replaced, it makes taking it off imperative……..& tough.

      She’s approaching menopause & boy wait until THAT hits for taking wt. off! If I had to do it again, I’d watch my wt. much more carefully. And booze is a hidden calorie source even if done prudently. I have noticed her “Bubble Butt.”

    • Everyhting about ODUMBO;s will fail the verifyer test, that is precisely why democrats are pushing thru the bill preventing any personal information be disclosed upon Odumbo leaving office….they know- there is a lot of explosive info there and the DNC will never see a WH after that!

  6. Is anything about the Obama’s authentic? Everything they do is a photo-op. I for one will not miss them very much.

    Somehow I don’t see them as being magnanimous losers. We’ll see.

  7. Great, now I’m hungry. Patiently awaiting the “Let them eat my leftovers!” roar. Will we be politically correct if we dumpster dive through DC and tag ourselves “Freegans”?

  8. The phrase “Let them eat cake” takes on a whole new meaning now, doesn’t it? We have the worst flotus in history to go along with the worst potus. Surprised anyone??????

    • Yep. It’s “Let ME eat cake” now. And lots of it. Tons of molten chocolate cappucino cakes and cheesecakes and carrot cakes. I do hope I’m spared having to see what she looks like in about 10-15 years if she continues to eat – and drink – like this.

  9. I agree that what she eats is her biz but she’s going back for thirds from the all you can eat hypocrisy trough. But draw / depict her in an unflattering light and I hope you got your knife proof ear muffs on*. You’ll need ’em.

    (old line from a Johnny Paycheck song. RIP.)

  10. Does the Hypocrisy SURPRISE ANYONE??? They tell you to be Frugal and they take $$ Vacations…Have Kobe Beef parties on Wednesday nights..Etc, Etc. We should all shoulder the hardship..so THEY can use the peoples money to have a good time. 2012 can’t get here soon enough.

  11. I wish the Occupy Wall Street crowd would read this article and see the grotesque extravegance of the First Lady and occupy the White House instead. She’s like the old Soviet elite who feasted to excess and fattened themselves while the people starved and stood in line for hours for a loaf of bread. I think we all remember the late 80s and early 90s in the USSR. The hypocrites were removed from power. It’s unfortunate that they’re reverting to that social mindset under the ultimate Soviet comrade, Putin.

    • And you’re thinking they’ll actually make the connection why??

      If they haven’t made the connection to the destruction, all the stuff they’re protesting against now, and the “obama the lawless” regime already. what makes you think they’ll make the connection by reading this?

      • coincidental the protest is at the ceo homes that no longer donate to the campaign lol coincidental the press focuses on the GOP when describing the protest and root of unhappiness. coincidental noone is talking about TORT REFORM IS OFF THE TABLE, or LOBBYISTS, or CORPORATIONS THAT SUPPORT THE ADMINISTRATION. Ya think this is all coincidental? cant wait for next round of visits from the princeton prof and tavis smiley to feel my pain. Its the business of poverty selling. Lobster in the Green room for the experts on poverty lol..

  12. If I ate the way the Obama’s ate, rather than a half way decent diet, my cardiologist would be kicking my a$$ all over the place.

    The ironic thing is that blacks,especially black women, are a third more likely to die of heart disease and stroke than any other ethnic group.

    So by extension, Mrs. Obama is simply trying to do what the Progressives have been trying to do for a century, and that is to kill off as many minorities as possible. People learn what the live and live what they learn, and just saying eat your peas while you are dining on Crème brûlée is not the way to ensure that those who follow/emulate you will be healthy.

    But this goes back to the entire Progressive mentality, and their deep seated desire to rid society of those that they consider inferior and nothing more than worker drones. I guess when they were read Huxley’s “Brave New World” they didn’t realize that it was meant as satire, but rather took it as a guide to world social order.

  13. Michelle – Get out of my effing kitchen! Take your food regs and diet suggestions and shove them down your pie hole with the rest of the “unhealthy” foods you devour.

    • I know you will feel my pain, Michelle–I am going over to see my mother and we usually get lunch out on the way back–Wendy’s–but today, I cannot even afford the dollar menu. Oh, well–I will toast you with my usual ramen, later, Michelle–wait for it.

  14. 1. I hope she eats herself into a sumo wrestler’s body. She’s getting very close.
    2. When Michelle has the same body fat content as Sarah Palin I will listen to her nutritional advice.
    3. Ordinarily I would not care about a first lady’s culinary habits or body shape, but I am offended that the press demands that I not believe my own eyes.
    4. Can we get a realistic photo of her from the ankles up and not from the midriff up? If she is that healthy let us view the whole package. And please stop flexing your arms for the camera Michelle.

    5.As an aside and for those of you who don’t know, George Bush ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich most of the time for lunch and biked daily, an activity the left found to be a waste of presidential time.

  15. Let them eat cake! Why should we mere serfs have the right to what we can eat? She’s an elitist. She knows better than we do. She’s smarter and much wiser than us average folk. She should have the power to tell who can eat what, when and where. Remember, do as I say not as I do. LOL!

  16. I probably eat 5000-6000 calories on your average day. I am 6’2″ tall and 190 pounds. I have always eaten like a horse and given my history I doubt I will ever be over-weight. Let the woman eat whatever she pleases, she’s in better shape than 95% of the women I see on the street every day. People have different metabolic rates, obviously hers is higher than some. Deal with it. We shouldn’t all be emo-kid skinny.

    • Wouldn’t bother me in the slightest what she eats, if she would keep her paws off my dinner plate. Since she thinks she can dictate what I eat, I’m going to criticize what she eats. Deal with it.

        • Being in “better shape” doesn’t mean skinny, heavy, or in-between. Good shape is all about the insides: the heart, liver, digestive system, brain, etc. The list of foods that were presented would make my doctor, endocrinologist, and cardiologist turn red with disbelief as they lectured me (or anyone else eating these foods on any sort of regular basis).

          Again, look at what people are saying: she is being hypocritical. She doesn’t say “eat depending on your metabolism”. She says “eat like this and ignore what I’m personally putting in my body on a regular basis”. That, my friend, is the definition of hypocritical. And, yeah, if Laura Bush had been a total non-reader in the White House, blatantly ignoring reading material for all to see, but had still pushed literacy, you bet your sweet “fast metabolism” I’d have been one of the first to criticize.

  17. Her telling us what to eat, while she “pigs out” is nothing more than liberals believing that they’re just so much smarter than we are, and we need to be told what to do, because we’re so stupid, we can’t decide for ourselves. That’s what the whole control issue is about.
    And yes, it’s hypocrisy. But in their eyes, it’s “OK”, because they’re so smart, it doesn’t apply to them. It’s US that needs their “help”, not them.
    Throw in a dose of “liberal foods”, that we must eat, not them, like saw dust, tofu etc… and you have your total hypocrisy here. She should have been totally ignored by now.

  18. MO:

    You can tell she loves fries
    by the size of her hips.
    Containers of ice cream
    just slide past her lips.
    Obesity’s growing;
    her lectures keep flowing to foodies,
    with great slimming tips.

    “Aahgdin Gnashed” c.

  19. This is quite typical of Michelle and Barry! The serfs must follow their dictates, yet they are free to do as they please–all on the taxpayers credit card!

  20. Eat like a horse, look like a horse. But the horse needs to shut the heck up and stop telling the rest of us to eat like rabbits. Never did like horses anyway.