Does Michelle Obama really over-satiate herself on adipose-inducing feasts while lecturing kids to clean up their diets?
Yes, according to the most scientific study to date.
Obviously intending to counter Michelle’s critics, food writer Marian Burros, working for POLITICO, treated herself to lunch and/or dinner at “the 33 or more restaurants in the Washington area” where Michelle has grazed in Washington since her husband took office.
Can you imagine? Such diligence and sacrifice.
The result is a classic unintended scientific finding. Burros appears to have set out to prove that Mrs. Obama eats like an undernourished wild rabbit, citing the “vitriol” poured on her concerning her food habits by “anti-Obama blogs.”
In fact, Burros finds – though she doesn’t acknowledge it – that the excess weight Michelle is usually carrying around was not put there by a mysterious and unwelcome Act of God.
She eats poorly.
Burros discovers and celebrates that Michelle does eat vegetables. But that’s like saying a murderer sometimes commits burglaries. The problem is with Michelle’s core diet, much of which seems to be fried, sitting on a bone, or infested with sucrose.
Here at White House Dossier, we have a little fun with Michelle’s marked proclivity to overeat and overeat and serve unhealthy food to guests again and again, while pointing out the hypocrisy of her simultaneously telling others how to eat.
Not since Richard Simmons’s paunch protruded over his skimpy shorts has a worse Apostle of the path to health presented themselves to the public.
Let’s take a quote from a paragraph in the Burros piece in which the author says Michelle “is a careful eater, practicing what she preaches.” She then notes:
Sometimes she skips dessert.
You advocate healthy eating and you deprive yourself of dessert only sometimes?
Actually, by the look of the article, it seems like rarely is more accurate. Here are a few samples of her desserts, taken directly from the article.
- Napoleon crème brûlée
- A 15-layer carrot cake
- Bittersweet molten chocolate cake with cappuccino ice cream
- Blueberry kulfi and apple jalabi
- Strawberry shortcake
- A log-shaped, flourless chocolate cake with a rosemary ganache
- Warm ricotta beignets
- Blueberry sorbet – Note from the author: “She passed up the tiramisu.” Such willpower.
- A perfectly balanced warm chocolate bread pudding
- Banana cream pie
- Key lime pie, bread pudding and banana pineapple cake (shared)
- Birthday cake
Let’s look at some of the appetizers – she doesn’t seem to miss many of those – and main courses. Here are a few of her meals
- Soft-shell crab cooked tempura style with a ratatouille sauce; an “ethereal lobster burger” with scallop mousse and housemade chips
- Rack of lamb
- Fried green tomatoes, avocado and corn salsa and tomato relish (shared); fried oysters; a hanger steak with fried onion rings and succotash
- Butter poached lobster on butternut squash with a brown butter emulsion; venison au poivre and corn cake
- Watermelon salad with feta; fried oyster po’ boy; followed by samples of other items on the table: seafood crepe, shrimp and grits and buttermilk biscuits
There’s more, and there are a few healthier items, but you get the idea.
In addition, she “usually” starts her meal with a dirty martini and then follows it with wine, setting a baseline of at least 300 calories before we even start counting food.
I have three words for Mrs. Obama, each of which she is certain to ignore:
PLEASE, TAKE ME!