As of now, I am in control here, in the White House

Silent Obama Surges in the Polls!

Obama’s approval rating Friday stood at 42 percent, four points higher than the record low of 38 percent he had been at earlier this week.

This is terrible news for the president.

Why? Because he has been almost totally out of the public eye. Sequestered on Martha’s Vineyard quietly putting away on the golf course and puttering around on the beach, Obama has been off the radar.

And yet he’s rising in the polls.

Of course, he hit his popularity nadir right after a highly publicized bus trip last week through the Midwest that was supposed to rally support for him in critical battleground states. Obama was ubiquitous, holding town halls, giving speeches, chatting away in TV interviews, and generally making himself available for viewing.

And voters recoiled in horror.

It reminds me of the health reform debate. The more the president talked about the legislation, less popular it became. So the White House handed the wheel to Nancy Pelosi, who decided the best approach would be for people to find out what’s in the legislation after it’s passed.

White House sources are telling me that political adviser David Plouffe is mapping out a new campaign strategy under which Obama will be sent to an unnamed national park where he will camp out from Oct. 1, 2012 through Election Day. The president would have access to neither to the Internet nor a phone, so that he could not sneak in an interview.

“It will be just the president, with a tent and a fishing rod,” this source said. “No one will be allowed to contact him other than the national security adviser, his immediate family, and his bookie.”

However, Obama 2012 Chairman Jim Messina is pushing a more agressive strategy in which Obama is placed in an medically induced coma for the final weeks of the campaign.

Sources also say that in the final months before Election Day, Michelle will be fitted with a special tracking device that will screech at a deafening volume if she tries to go on vacation.

Meanwhile, Vice President Biden’s knees will be locked in place so that he can’t put his foot in his mouth.

Keeping Obama from making public statements is an excellent campaign strategy and shows Obama’s advisers are “thinking out of the box.”

In fact, advisers to Rick Perry are said to think highly of the Obama strategy and are analyzing the feasibility of adopting it for their candidate as well.

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34 Responses to Silent Obama Surges in the Polls!

  1. I just don’t get it. He and MO waste taxpayer dollars on excessive, exhorbitant, outrageous vacations; he is tone-deaf to what is going on around the country; they don’t seem to give a damn about anyone but themselves; the economy sucks, unemployment is up, Libya is out of control, earthquakes, hurricanes, he golfs up a storm and has fake family photo ops, they eat expensive haute cuisine while Americans eat top ramen and mac and cheese (the boxed variety), and his poll numbers go UP??????? WTF????? There must be something wrong with either the poll takers, the way the questions are phrased, or all the people who were polled are blind, deaf dumb-asses.

    • Always wondered that myself Kathy. Think it might be a combination of reasons. Half of the American people pay no income tax so they have no skin in the game. Then the CBC has been out agitating the vulnerables all week so that may have some effect on his favorability rating. Then again, I don’t put much stock in polls anyway. I don’t know one single person who plans to vote for this man in 2012. Even the fools that did vote for him are swearing never again.

        • I’m not trying to imply that all low income people are supporters of big government. There are some good, hardworking people who have fallen on hard times and deserve a hand up. There are also a good many who have lived their whole lives on the government dole and believe they are owed a living because of some injustice that was visited on them or their ancestors.

          What I would like is to scrap the IRS and come up with a flat tax or a fair tax. I can dream at least.

  2. I like that idea. I’d even go further and close off all federal buildings for 6 months for, uh, renovations. No Congress, no nothing.
    Just quiet.

    • Great idea srdem. After the earthquake, you know all those federal buildings are going to need some renovations. If they take an extended vacation and leave us alone for the next year or so, maybe we can recover from all their meddling in the economy.

  3. As a liberal observer on this website, I am guessing the majority of Americans don’t want a President who carries a gun on himself, prays for rain for Texas (which they do need, truthfully), says he’s doesn’t care about gays in New York then signs a pledge to amend the Constitution of the United States, signs a pledge to make abortion illegal for women who want or need it, and wants Washington “as inconsequential as possible”?

    If he would just not touch the darn Constitution he may be FINE, everyone.

    “STATE’S RIGHTS, RIGHT?” should be Perry’s slogan.
    You guys may have a chance.

  4. As I first started reading the part about BO going to national park, I thought it was for real. Of course, as I read more, I realized it was not. However, your suggestions are not really that bad. Have you shared them with David Plouffe?