Last week, the White House said the Japanese tsunami was partially to blame for the sorry state of the U.S. economy. While this provoked a certain amount of laughter, it is perhaps not quite as funny as several other reasons for the continuing downturn that appear on a secret White House list of excuses.
White House Dossier has obtained a copy of the list, and below is publishing several of them – for the first time anywhere! – for your perusal.
The top ten secret White House excuses for the poorly performing economy:
1. Loch Ness Monster threatening to make an appearance in Lake Superior.
2. Economy still reeling from failed 1980s introduction of New Coke.
3. Bo ate my economic plan.
4. Bernanke hooked again on Afghani hashish.
5. Economic time bomb planted by Richard Nixon finally going off.
6. Thousands unable to work after being injured trying to learn the Macarena.
7. Evil spell cast on the country by Dick Cheney has yet to wear off.
8. Obama never should have listened when Bush said, “Obama, wreck the economy.”
9. Lady Gaga accidentally allowed to provide economic advice during first year of Obama’s presidency.
10. Obama not getting in enough golf.