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Obama Tries His Hand at Stand-Up Comedy

by Keith Koffler on June 30, 2011, 9:35 am

The most surprising thing about President Obama’s news conference yesterday was that anybody took it seriously.

Can’t all you pundits and news analysts get a joke? Does anybody have a sense of humor anymore?

Obama’s comments were loaded with great jokes his staff had written, and they must have been crestfallen that nobody got any of them.

Really really really really we’re going to close the deficit in any meaningful way by taxing the purchase of private jets? Obama must have been joking. He was! That’s why he said it about ten times, hoping everyone would get it, but nobody seems to have done so.

But he was just warming up, as many comics do. He got to one of his best punchlines during his discussion of entitlement reform.

So we’re going to have to look at entitlements — and that’s always difficult politically.  But I’ve been willing to say we need to see where we can reduce the cost of health care spending and Medicare and Medicaid in the out-years, not by shifting costs on to seniors, as some have proposed, but rather by actually reducing those costs.  But even if we’re doing it in a smart way, that’s still tough politics.  But it’s the right thing to do.

Excuse me, we’re going to save money on a program for seniors without adding costs to seniors? Are farmers going to start milking cows buy pulling their tails?

Did nobody think this Obamajoke was funny? I cancelled a meeting I had later in the day because I still couldn’t stop laughing from this one.

Okay, not really.

Obama also threw in a joke about his opposition to same-sex marriage. DOES ANYBODY ON PLANET EARTH ACTUALLY BELIEVE THAT OBAMA REALLY OPPOSES SAME-SEX MARRIAGE OTHER THAN FOR PURELY POLITICAL REASONS?

This, actually, is a running gag, and everyone’s getting a little tired of it, so Obama signalled he’s about to dump it from his routine.

I’ll keep on giving you the same answer until I give you a different one, all right?  And that won’t be today.

The polls are suggesting he might be able to put this one to bed without too much – if any – political damage.

For another joke, I’m told Obama had two ghostwriters from outside the White House. Here’s the joke. It was cracked during his discussion of the application of the War Powers Resolution to the war with Libya. Can you tell me who the joke writers are?

I want to talk about the substance of Libya because there’s been all kinds of noise about process and congressional consultation and so forth.

“Noise” about the balance of powers that is the heart of the Constitution?

You guessed it. The joke was written by Hugo Chavez and Fidel Castro, who are hanging out together in Cuba while Chavez convalesces from some kind of explosion that occurred in his groin area.

All in all, a classic routine from the president.

Leave a Comment

{ 45 comments… read them below or add one }

William June 30, 2011 at 9:45 am

He also kept using the phrase “corporate-jet owner” when describing who he wants to go after. I found this particularly funny because I am a corporate-jet owner, as is pretty much anybody who owns even one share of stock. When the CEO (or CFO, or COO, etc.) of Exxon/Mobil or Caterpillar or any number of corporations flies on the corporate jet, he is flying on a jet owned, in part, by me. The individuals who run a corporation do not own its assets personally. I was waiting for the laughter on that one.

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Just2old June 30, 2011 at 9:53 am

You’d have to loan him a quarter to buy a clue!

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srdem65 June 30, 2011 at 10:08 am

It was funny when he said that the government might have to stop paying out SocialSecurity checks to seniors and payments to disabled vets if the Repubs don’t get in line and raise taxes on the rich implying that it’s out of his hands if that happens. Ha, ha, like we wouldn’t blame the President for that.
All in all, the most humorous part was the absolute silence from the press corp when the President of all of us talked about pleasing his “base”. Or, when no one asked him how taxing corporate jet owners would reduce our deficit or why he felt that raising taxes on anyone during a recession/depression would make our economy improve.
Yes, we were not amused by either participant in the presser.

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srdem65 June 30, 2011 at 11:07 am

I apologize for being too ‘cute’ in my comment above.
How I really feel:
How dare the CandidatePresident threaten children, old people and disabled veterans with hunger, homelessness and destitution as a political ploy to force the Repubs to bow to his disastrous fiscal agenda? How low does this President have to go before someone calls him out for his lies, bullying and outright threats against those who don’t agree with his agenda?
Quoting someone much grander than I; “have you no decency, sir?”.

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Susan June 30, 2011 at 12:16 pm

Much better srdem. It always feels better to get it off your chest. Thanks to Keith, we can do that without censorship.

By the way, you are spot on about his behavior. Hope he doesn’t pull a Charlie Sheen in the WH, because it appears he is having a meltdown.

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MT for re-redistribution June 30, 2011 at 12:16 pm

I agree!! And he seems to be getting worse, or is having a harder time hiding his bitterness and hatred for freedom.

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Star June 30, 2011 at 10:57 am

I cancelled a meeting I had later in the day because I still couldn’t stop laughing from this one.

Okay, not really.

See–THAT line was funnier than anything he said. Remember–he doesn’t have a funny bone in his entire body. The phony grin notwithstanding. Peevish, childish, ridiculous, insulting to the intelligence…yes, Congress is like your 10-yr-old only your 10-yr-old is better. Kneeslapper!

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Susan June 30, 2011 at 11:01 am

Well, yesterday wasn’t his first try at stand up comedy. Unfortunately his kind of humor doesn’t resonate well with Americans who are suffering under his oppressive regime. Never in my life has an American president behaved as childishly as this man. He’s like the spoiled child who tells his parents he doesn’t like them any more because they won’t let him have his way.

He appears to be doing all he can to create a constitutional crisis. His rogue Libya invasion is just another notch in his belt on the way to accomplishing that goal. In case you haven’t noticed, his stooges in the MSM are mounting an all out attack on our Constitution. Big mistake because there are many of us who will protect our founding documents with our lives if it comes to that.

One little correction Keith… “buy” should be “by” in the cow joke ;-)

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Lizzy June 30, 2011 at 3:48 pm

Haven’t seen such a childish temper tantrum since well I am 60 so at
least Jan 2009:)

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Shofar June 30, 2011 at 11:01 am

How ironic that Obama goes from Claudius to Yorick.

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William June 30, 2011 at 1:02 pm

Incorrect. Claudius was at least responsible for many improvements in the empire. Things have only been going down hill here since January 2009.

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Shofar June 30, 2011 at 2:35 pm

Wrong Claudius.

Claudius the usurper king in Hamlet.

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William June 30, 2011 at 2:47 pm

Ah. Guess working on my masters in history colors my vision.

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Shofar June 30, 2011 at 2:58 pm

That’s okay, I have my minor in History.

Don’t know what you area is in, but Craig Ferguson mentioned this last night on his show, and I did a bit of follow up today. Looks like the Elizabethans were a bit more hip than one might have thought.

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2001/03/0301_shakespeare.html

http://www.globalpost.com/dispatches/globalpost-blogs/weird-wide-web/researchers-exhume-shakespeare-remains-pothead

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Russell June 30, 2011 at 11:03 am

I was laughing so hard from all of these jokes that I thought that I was going to need a straight jacket. Wait a minute, I do because this administration is making me insane.

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Granny Jan June 30, 2011 at 11:25 am

What makes him tick? I’ve been asking this forever.

His ego is so fragile that he implodes if challenged.

He is so narcissistic that he is incapable of self-reflection.

His comment on doing Bin Laden. Were the pressies laughing AT him. Sounds like it.

Republicans, he has a huge achilles heel. Challenge, challenge, challenge. Get him all riled up and hope he contiunes to implode.

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Star June 30, 2011 at 11:38 am

He is almost a caricature of himself now. The baleful looks, the greenish pallor (am I a Martianist?), the weirdly on and off grin. As I asked when I first heard of him–who IS this person, what has he done, how did he get that 2004 speech, and WHO IS BACKING HIM in all this?

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MT for re-redistribution June 30, 2011 at 12:20 pm

Ok, we all need to settle down about race. No more mention of his obvious martian heritage.

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Susan June 30, 2011 at 12:20 pm

Soros is the puppeteer.

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Susan June 30, 2011 at 12:37 pm

Your post “press conference” video made the Gateway Pundit. Congrats Granny Jan!

http://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2011/06/our-tone-deaf-president-the-obama-press-conference-unplugged/

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Granny Jan June 30, 2011 at 1:21 pm

I know I was thrilled. I emailed it at 4:30 am to my lists and Jim had it up at 5:30. I woke up to that and was so surprised because I don’t think he has ever embedded a video of mine. It was also on the Blaze.

I have other goals. I have never made it to Hot Air or Ace of Spades. I actually once was on Breitbart and Mark Levin.

It’s hard to break through. Either they don’t read thair emails or don’t like them. Moonbattery has been terrffic to me as has IOWT and Keith.

I don’t earn any money from the videos so I consider it ok to pimp them or I’m just totally shameless :)

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Keith Koffler June 30, 2011 at 1:44 pm

Congrats Janice!

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Susan June 30, 2011 at 1:57 pm

Well our founding fathers didn’t spread the message of freedom for monetary gain so you would fit right in with them. Granny Jan — the Paulette Revere of the 21st Century!

My husband collects revolution era memorabilia and he has a June 25,1776 edition of The London Chronicle. One article describes captured patriots as follows: “The rebels had slips of paper pin’d to their caps with the words Liberty or Death wrote on them.”

If we all keep spreading the word we will never have to relive that time in history, when armed revolt was the only way to achieve liberty and freedom.

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Boo June 30, 2011 at 6:52 pm

GJ – another great video. Where were the gold shower curtains behind BO purchased – Kmart or Walmart? Inquiring minds want to know.

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Boo June 30, 2011 at 7:01 pm

Oops – nothing wrong with Kmart or Walmart – I shop both.
Just look inappropriate in WH.

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Star July 1, 2011 at 11:12 am

Yes! Garish–I have noticed that, too.

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Lizzy June 30, 2011 at 11:28 am

Well I guess if you are above the law and all we mortals you might find all
these pesky little money problems a joke. Sadly for most of us well we aren’t going to The Vineyard this year. And we could feed a family of 4 for a
month on what Michelle spends on earrings and cool jeans. So excuse me
if I don’t see the humor in the failing of my country.

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Granny Jan June 30, 2011 at 11:33 am

MO wore $700 pants to paint a wall in Africa. Where is our press on this or Drudge for that matter?
http://weaselzippers.us/2011/06/30/what-every-elitist-flotus-should-wear-while-graffiting-the-side-of-a-botswana-building/

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MT for re-redistribution June 30, 2011 at 12:24 pm

Can you imagine a classy FLOTUS like Laura Bush going to Botswana to graffiti a building? WTF?? Then add the $700 britches, inviting the extended family, and the billion dollar total cost… WTF?!?!?

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Susan June 30, 2011 at 12:25 pm

Probably flew under the radar because those look like the paint-stained pants I wear when I’m scrubbing the floors. She really got sandbagged if we taxpayers paid $700 for those tacky pants.

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Sara B June 30, 2011 at 11:36 am

Yah…so funny I forgot to laugh as we used to say in third grade which was the age-appropriate logic obama used when giving examples of cuts that will have to made if fat cats don’t pay taxes on private jets. This guy is pathetic and Mark Halperin’s moment of honesty this morning on msnbc means even the lapdog media is noticing.

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Star June 30, 2011 at 11:39 am

Yeah–isn’t Halperin a huge K-A slurper?

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Star June 30, 2011 at 12:34 pm

I would say that if you end up getting called A Nickname for Richard by a supporter, you didn’t “kill.”

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PaulHolt June 30, 2011 at 2:10 pm

If it weren’t so hilarious, we’d all be crying.
Wait, I do feel a tear coming on, or maybe it is just depression.
The worst part about all of it is that the MSM could care less. Getting his daughter’s age wrong twice in one press conference certainly goes further than the spelling of potato, but what the hey, not a big deal on NBC, CBS, ABC, MSNBC, NYT’s, LAT’s, etc., etc.

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Star June 30, 2011 at 2:18 pm

I am not defending him–but her birthday is Sunday. They have probably been saying, “You are a teenager now,.” etc. I can think of thousands of reasons he is a Nickname for Richard–like even making these wimpy comments about his kids…remember when he had one of them saying, “Daddy, can you fix the hole in the ocean?”

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Star June 30, 2011 at 2:20 pm

Monday–she was born on the Fourth of July. And they hate this country–there is a sign right there!

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PaulHolt June 30, 2011 at 9:52 pm

As a father, I know not to state, as fact, an age of a child that hasn’t yet occurred. At the least he could have said, “…my daughter who is about to become thirteen years old, and will celebrate her birthday next Monday…” etc.

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Star July 1, 2011 at 11:09 am

You’re right–it was dense…another remark flying off the cuff and landing with a THUD.

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MT for re-redistribution June 30, 2011 at 3:59 pm

Obama: “There are still a few profitable people and organizations in the United States. And I, for one, will not stand for it!”

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rick golding June 30, 2011 at 7:38 pm

I’m somewhat dissapointed that you used the word “comedy” in your headline as I believe that is definitive of his entire administration. Not to be tagged to a specific event.

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