As of now, I am in control here, in the White House

Mr. President, Was This Book Really Necessary?

EXCLUSIVE!!!! White House Dossier has obtained the cover jacket of a new book by President Obama. We give you below a photo of the front cover and a reprint of the blurb by Obama found on the side panel. Take a look!

Barack Obama book on Osama Bin Laden

The blurb:

“I highly recommend this book to anyone who thinks I’m not a true badass. Just because I tried to make friends with Ahmadinejad and am afraid of Nancy Pelosi doesn’t mean I can’t take care of business.

Earlier this year, while trying to figure out whose ass to kick, the CIA brought me some startling information: I could kick Osama Bin Laden’s ass, the biggest ass of all.

This was not surprising to me, because it was the result of my policies, and not of those of George W. Bush, who was not a good president and couldn’t find Bin Laden.

Early in my term, I went to the CIA and told them: “Take out Bin Laden.”

And they said, “What do mean, like take him out for sushi?”

And I said, “No, take him out. Isn’t that how they say it in the movies?”

And they said, “Oh, you mean kill him?”

And I said, “Yes, kill him.”

And they said, “We’re already trying to kill Bin Laden.”

And I said,” You’ve got to try harder.”

And they said, “We already have all the available assets working to kill him. Bush was trying to get this guy for years. It’s the highest national security priority.”

And I said, “Make it an even higher national security priority than Bush made it.”

And they said, “Well, I guess we could hire another receptionist.”

And I said, “Do it.”

In this book, I talk about it all: The agonizing Oval Office decisions, the sleepless nights wondering if I wore the right pajamas, the cool gadgets in the Situation Room, the terrible decision to tear myself away from golf and watch the Osama Bin Laden raid on closed circuit TV.

You’ll be there with me for it all, as if you were in the room – but off in the corner, not in the middle where I sit.

I promise, that after you read this book, you’ll never want to read another book again.

22 Responses to Mr. President, Was This Book Really Necessary?

  1. I think this is the kind of thing the WhiteHouse’s new “ministry of information and re-education” would consider anti-Obama.
    The pushback from the WH will be:
    Sworn statements of eye-witness accounts of how MrO had to be restrained by ReggieLove from boarding the helos with the Seals as they set off for their mission are released for publication.
    Spurious accounts of FirstGranny pushing MrO into the helo are not accurate according to a WH spoxperson..

  2. Congrats on the scoop Keith! This is about the funniest article I’ve read in a while. Thank you for the laugh. The Princess Beatrice hats are priceless!

  3. Thanks all – or most! Took me a while to figure out how to use my photo application to put together the book page. The hat photo I found. BTW, I think it may be the photo that made Gates oppose releasing the Bin Laden photos – it was reported that he got concerned about the possibilities of Photoshop with the OBL photos after seeing a picture of everyone in the Sit. Room with hats on.

  4. Even with all the flourishes, it still looks like they stuck him in a corner and said, “You just sit there, Barry, while the adults do the work.”