As of now, I am in control here, in the White House

Obama: My People, You Continue to Have My Blessing.

Updated May 18 at 10:43 am; 12:39 pm

UPDATE: Some readers have misinterpreted the headline as an actual quote. The headline was only meant as an ironic paraphrase of the actual statements Obama made, which are highlighted below in blue. I did not think that anyone would perceive this ludicrous sounding phrase as something Obama might actually have said. It is satire only. I have removed quotes that were around the statement to reduce any chance of misinterpretation.

What kind of political leader tells his supporters this?

My belief in you has not lessened.

President Obama does. That’s what he said toward the end a speech at a campaign fundraiser last night in Washington to a relatively youthful crowd of supporters he was trying spur back toward the energy level of 2008.

He still believes in what he believes, which is also what they believe, he said.

The vision that brought us together in 2008, that’s undiminished in me.

And best of all, our Leader let it be known, thankfully, that he continues to have faith in you and me as well.

The confidence I have in the American people, in their decency, that’s undiminished.  My faith that we can make tough choices on behalf of future generations, that’s undiminished.

I just, I’m just, I’m really just crying right now.

Excuse me.

Okay, I’m better.

Last night I was talking to one of my plants, telling him – or her, who knows?? – that I thought Obama might have lost faith in me.

I told him – or her . . . oh for goodness sakes I’ll just call it “Plant,” – I told Plant that Obama seemed not to be paying attention to people like me. You know, going golfing and skipping disasters and so on.

I was going to write him a letter, saying, “What have I done wrong? What can I do to pleaseth thee and regain thy favor.”

Oh I hate when I slip into King Jamesspeak. Always happens with Obama.

But it turns out he still thinks I’m decent. And he believes I can make choices on behalf of future generations, which I can. I mean, I pick out my kids’ clothes every day.

I will try from now on to do things right, Mr. President. I’ll work for change you can believe in. I won’t give up hope, unless gas hits $5 a gallon. And as a sign of my nearly religious commitment, I will even obey Michelle’s dietary laws.

Because thou hast commanded . . .

Sorry.

 

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76 Responses to Obama: My People, You Continue to Have My Blessing.

  1. “The One” was a title given to MrO during the last election. It was not a religious title as assumed by many, but a reference to the popular movie “The Matrix”. Young people got sucked right into that crap, just like they believe that SNL, Colbert, et al, are serious political news organizations.

    MrsO’s prepared speeches are almost as bad as her husband’s and filled with the I’s,Me’s,and My’s that we’re so accustomed to hearing. Her latest speech at Spelman college graduation ceremony was a doozy. She gave a “shout out” (her words) to her “right-hand woman” who is a graduate of Spelmen and told the group that this college grad “looks after my children and my Mother”. Then she talked about how she gave up “high-paying” jobs to work in the social services arena and advised the graduates to do the same.

    The message from the O’s is always about them. Saying “I feel your pain” is a lot different from “Your pain is real, what can I do to help”.

  2. Hilarious! How irreverent of you AND your plant Keith. Maybe he’s channeling his inner Charlton Heston, or maybe even testing how his sacrilegious schtick plays in preparation for this afternoon’s gig…

  3. King Jamesspeak..LOL. Oh, yes, master, I am afraid of thy disappointment in my humble self. I spend so much time trying to scrounge a living, feed my family, not faint or fail or cry (too much), I don’t devote myself to thee enough. Please forgive me… HAH! I do devote myself to thee many hours a day–to defeating and shortcircuiting you! Any way I can think of.

  4. It sounds like he’s trying to channel Ronaldus Magnus. The difference being that Pres. Obama sounds like he’s talking about himself.

    Does anyone remember that celebrity “I pledge myself to Obama” video?

  5. OBAMA = MESSIAH!
    Just ask the ‘Main-Stream, Sycophant Media’ from 2008 to today.

    BTW; the ‘Main-Stream, Sycophant Media’ are already getting ready/propaganda for Obama 2012…

  6. Oh my gosh…

    I feel so much better, too!!

    Thank you, Dear Leader.

    *btw…this is the funniest post I’ve read in a while. Love your blog, Keith, keep up the great work! * :)

  7. Keith,
    Things like this make me resurrect this idea I’ve been rolling around in my head for a couple weeks: I’m thinking of making an announcement to my readers/paper/syndicate that I will stop making fun of BHO on the grounds it’s cruel to make fun of the “mentally challenged”.

    • NO. He’s not mentally challenged. He’s mean. Rethink this or you will have us to contend with.
      I’ve said this before: Mah Man is a Psychiatrist. He never ceases to tell me how many people are ill/sick, but/and do not wish us ill, nor do they shoot us or take undue advantage of us.
      The o is not “mentally challenged”. He’s a mean good-looking expensively-dressed Chicago thug/politico who has never done more in life than cash in on Affirmative Action. He has some VERY $$$$ backers. “Mentally challenged” he’s not, whatever else he is.

      • He’s a high functioning sociopath with malignant narcissistic personality disorder. That doesn’t mean he’s not responsible for his actions.

        You are so correct about the meanness. I’ve seen many times he’s caught with a snarling look on his face and a second later, once he realizes he’s on camera, he breaks out in a grin.

  8. The gnashing of teeth and rending of garments and wearing of sackcloth and ashes when he loses in 2012 will be a sight to behold. (especially the LSM)

  9. Wow, how could anyone misinterpret a headline, in quotes with Obama’s name in front of it, as quote from him? Kinda like if I posted

    Koffler: “I pander to the lowest common denominator of society.”

    Not a quote, just an ironic paraphrase. Dumbasses.

  10. Check out the facts sometime.
    It is complete ignorance to mock Michelle’s healthy eating campaign.
    In case you haven’t noticed…. we have an obesity crisis in this country.
    Future medical care expenses will be overwhelming because of this.
    While brilliant people like you can make wise choices for your family,
    obviously there are many parents who cannot, and government / school help is needed. Get a grip on reality!

  11. “I did not think that anyone would perceive this ludicrous sounding phrase as something Obama might actually have said.”

    You’re kidding, right? Well, if not, I would like to be the first to welcome you to the United States and I think it is wonderful you were able to get your internet hooked up so quickly after arriving here on last night’s barge.

  12. Some readers have misinterpreted the headline as an actual quote

    Gee, that couldn’t be because you put quotes around it, could it?

  13. It’s just classic Neuro-Linguistic Programming

    Remember the “we are the ones we’ve been waiting for” line?

    http://www.saladltd.co.uk/nlp-tip/207.html

    1) Make a decision that you’re going to believe deeply in the potential & capability of the person you are coaching.
    2) Decide to believe deeply in your own potential & capabilities, & general wonderfulness.

  14. Snorfle!

    Just one criticism – you obviously have sinned against Plant – how dare you try to assign your idea of gender to another of Gaia’s beings. The LGBT alliance will no doubt be in touch to minister to your failings.