President Obama’s weeks of dithering on whether to take military action against Libya can now be explained by a top secret list, obtained by White House Dossier, of issues that prevented him from acting.
Some may surprise you. But all have been verified by the accounting firm of Spink, Peabody & Nobody.
The following is the list of Obama actions and reactions and other issues that caused the delay:
1. Obama meant to create No Fly Zone but it “totally slipped my mind.”
2. He was initially flattered by Qaddafi compliments on Health Reform law.
3. He accidentally ordered No Fly Zone over Fukushima Daiichi and spraying of sea water on Tripoli.
4. Qaddafi assured Mrs. Obama that all he wants to do when he gets to Benghazi is get people to make smarter food choices.
5. Obama was waiting to make sure Lichtenstein was on board.
6. Germany refused to go along with UN resolution unless 2011 was declared “Year of the Wiener Schnitzel.”
7. Obama hoped to take Qaddafi to The People’s Court first.
8. Qaddafi possesses Obamas full-form birth certificate.
9. National Security Council was considering Qaddafi demand to be made defensive coordinator for the Washington Redskins.
10. Obama was concerned he might break a fingernail.