As of now, I am in control here, in the White House

Obama: “Nurse, Scalpel Please”

If you’re wondering how the White House is going about cutting the budget, well, in case you haven’t heard yet, it’s done WITH A SCALPEL.

Bad people, aka Republicans, want to bludgeon the budget WITH A MACHETE.

Message: Scalpel, good. Machete, bad. OK? Obama good. Paul Ryan bad.

“Let’s use a scalpel, lets’ not use a machete,” said Obama at this morning’s press conference.

He said it, like, seven times.

Only problem is, the American people WANT OBAMA TO USE A MACHETE on the budget.

Because he’s been using a scalpel and 68 percent of Americans now disapprove of the way he’s handling the deficit. And they think reducing the deficit is the best way to cure the economy.

And a scalpel is for budget cutting weenies.

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on RedditShare on LinkedInEmail this to someone

12 Responses to Obama: “Nurse, Scalpel Please”

  1. Oh, God–I almost miss the Slurpee now… Let’s see, dental picks, an electron microscope, nanotools…versus scythe, sledge hammer, chain saw (my personal favorite), car crusher…

  2. But what do WE know? You think when he says this stuff, that he actually remembers us? The people who actually know how to USE hammers, saws, microscopes, and scalpels? It’s unlikely the White House has run into any of us at their daily Lobster Buffet, private concerts, or even when they party with J-Lo. God forbid they see how the real ‘folks’ live.

    • Oh, he is in the bubble, remember–it’s so sad, cut off from interesting new friends, people with passions and projects, enthusiasms, different pts of view, tool users, innovators, researchers–like he even met those people before in his Senator bubble or his lecturer bubble…

  3. Talk about dueling metaphors ….

    Obama, being the flimsy, weeny-whiny, mealy-mouthed prig says “scalpel.”

    I agree with Star: CHAINSAW as in ‘Texas Chainsaw Massacre.’

    Liberals … the numbers stand at 68% (per Keith’s article). That number friends, will *rise* and when the American public have had enough, they will shut down the phone system in D.C., a’ la’ Michael Savage vs. Dubai Ports.

    To be continued …

      • I once did a story on ice sculpting–the guy had a 500 lb block in an alley behind the Hyatt on the Hill, picked up a chain saw and SCREEEEEEEE lashed into that thing like a demon! SCREEEAM, SCREEEM….gradually a bowl of flowers kind of emerged.

  4. Another embarrassing performance by the NationalPress. No follow-up questions to meandering answers, no follow-up to the lies (i.e., energy prices have declined) or asking for a strong statement about the MiddleEast turmoil. No one asked about the pending bonus’ to be paid to GM employees and the continuing debt they owe us.

    The President should know that we want the budget to be pared to the minimum, we want the federal employee payroll cut to the bare bones, foreign aid slashed, no new spending, no new “investments”, no new taxes on anyone and scrap the Obamacare fiasco before it put us all in debtor’s prison.

    • There was so many things not asked … and of course the boy President spent time filibustering (something he is very good at doing) in that painful, long, boring rambling maner of his. A lot of good questions that could have been asked, weren’t like … Obamacare and how it has a written provision, robbing taxpayers of $108,000,000 for ten years. It’s interesting to note that the other definition of a filibuster is a pirate; one who seizes a ships bounty, impresses free men into slavery and grabs booty.

  5. I remember when I was taking German in high school and there was a word translated in English as “platitude” and I didn’t understand what it really meant. Had I been taking that class now all my teacher would have to say is “take for example everything that comes out of the President’s mouth” and it would be crystal clear.

    • I liked what Peggy Noonan of all people (usually I can take or leave her) said–everything he brings up is well-known, not world-class smart, and he acts like he just discovered it…like R&D, or “investment” or “stablilizing.” Come on–are we five yrs old?

      • Obama (in the vanity of Al Gore) actually beleives what he says. When he tells you that pan-Arab Islamism is peaceful, he truly beleives that.

        FACT: Islam butchers homosexuals in all of the major Islamic countries in the Middle East … yet this fact will never be reported by the liberal MSM or by FOX.

        Obama will simply present the only view that is allowed: Islam is a religion of peace. No other opinions are allowed … and interestingly, in the gay community, you are not allowed to voice *any* indignation against Islam for fear of being labelled an Islamophobe. The liberal MSM not only accept this but attempt to present Islam in a different light.

        Obama could have stood in that presser and told every WH correspondent that they were homosexuals … and the room would have errupted into “Kay sa rah sa rah . . .” Chip Reid would have rushed over to Ed Henry and asked him to marry him.

        This President can do NO wrong. The President is RIGHT. Obama is *always* right.