Warren Buffett and Bill and Melinda Gates gathered at the White House today with President Obama to mourn imminent congressional enactment of legislation maintaining tax cuts on rich people like the five of them.
Buffett cried briefly during the Oval Office meeting, but was cheered when Obama informed him that he could simply write a check to the Treasury for, like, a lot.
Buffett was immediately cheered, and said he had left his checkbook at home but that he’d get the check in the mail as fast as you can start up a Mac. After some nervous laughter, Gates gamely changed the subject, asking the president to pressure automakers to start manufacturing luxury class hybrid automobiles.
Later, Obama escorted his guest to the State Dining Room to steal some silverware.
“It’s so cool being president,” Obama told reporters after the meeting. “Yesterday, the Lakers. Today, these legendary rich dudes. I can call Tiger Woods today and tomorrow he’d be with me on the White House putting green. Damn.”
The White House later told reporters the meeting, which was not announced beforehand, included discussion of “The Giving Pledge,” which is “the initiative they launched earlier this year that invites the wealthiest individuals and families in America to commit to giving the majority of their wealth to philanthropy.”
Buffett and Gates promised to get first-rate urologists for those they kicked in the nuts on the way up.
Obama also took suggestions on what the Hell to do about the economy.