Confronted with incessant whining from the White House, Washington Post reporter Bob Woodward agreed to demands to leave ten sensitive items out of his just released White House insider book, “Obama’s Wars.” Fortunately, White House Dossier has obtained a list of the excluded scoops.
We provide them to you below.
1. Rahm Emanuel actually never curses, always says “please,” and prefaces requests to staff with, “If you wouldn’t mind . . . ”
2. Hillary at first refused Obama’s offer because she thought he said “Secretary of Steak.”
3. Obama considered making Bill Clinton ambassador to Nuevo Fellatio.
4. Biden smokes pot with Rahm’s brother Ezekiel Emanuel before doing TV interviews.
5. On the last day of their administration, Cheney begged Bush to attack Armenia.
6. Obama is in reality extremely religious and prays so often he’s actually started to annoy Jesus.
7. The Obama children constantly complain about Mrs. Robinson’s “lumpy oatmeal.”
8. Angry at Israel, Obama once suggested sticking Ariel Sharon in Michelle’s vegetable garden.
9. Obama is not sure if he can keep the presidency in 2012, but does believe he can still get elected dog catcher.
10. Bo Obama is actually the Secretary of Commerce.