President Barack Obama today dodged a question about whether he receives regular massages. Please consider the following exchange between Obama and someone in attendance at today’s “economic” event with a “regular old family” and some of their neighbors in Fairfax, VA.
Q Okay. I’m a massage therapist and –
THE PRESIDENT: I’ve got a crick in my neck right here. (Laughter.)
Q Yes, I bet you do.
THE PRESIDENT: A lot of tension has been building up. (Laughter.)
Q Do you get a regular massage? (Laughter.)
THE PRESIDENT: Go ahead, go ahead.
I think, if we want to be malicious, or at least mischievous – and we do – we can assume this means the president is receiving regular massages. Which brings to mind several important questions.
1. Is he getting said massages after 18 holes of golf?
2. Is Monica Lewinsky giving these massages?
3. Is lobster served post-massage?
The American people need to know these things, but I assume the obfuscation will only increase now that Obama has accidentally let slip that he is receiving regular massages. I think we can also assume by the tone of his answer that he is drinking champagne during the sessions.
The massage question was the toughest one Obama got at today’s event, which featured “regular people” interlocutors who also happened to be fainting from excitement that the president had shown up on the patio.
Some of the slo-pitch softballs thrown Obama’s way:
Q I’m . . . a paraplegic. And I have a great interest in stem cell research and how it gets furthered. So how do we get this issue to be a scientific issue instead of a political issue?
Hmmm. A question about stem cell research from a paraplegic. Seems the Obama people might have stacked that one a bit in their favor . . .
Q Mr. President, it’s a privilege for me to be here. You talk about the small business loans. My company is a high-tech company. And we are growing, and we are providing high-tech jobs for Americans. How can we ensure that banking and lending institutions are going to actually lend money to small businesses?
OK. This one has to be a set up. Obama would talk about the small business lending legislation the Republicans are blocking all night if Michelle would agree to stay up for it.
Q What are your thoughts about what we’re doing in your administration to invest in preserving our nation’s history and our historic places?
OMG. The dreaded historic places question. I would have said, “One word: caulking.” But Obama is more polite than I am.
Well, you get the idea. After the massage therapist asked whether “on an energetic level” the president could do something “to alleviate people’s fears of spending $5,” Obama closed the thing down. Even he couldn’t take it any more.