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Obama Officially Suspends Hope and Change

President Obama today suspended hope and change, declaring a moratorium on his 2008 campaign promise until after Election Day.

Speaking at a DNC fundraiser in Austin, Obama made clear he was tired of being so good while the Republicans were being so bad. And so, no more Mr. Nice Guy.

We have spent the last 20 months governing. They spent the last 20 months politicking.  Now we’ve got three months to go, and so we’ve decided, well, we can politick for three months.

In a sign that he is serious about being unserious, Obama chastised Republicans for failing to perform self-criticism and called on them to admit they suck.

It would be one thing if having run the economy into the ground, having taken record surpluses and turned them into record deficits, if having presided over the meltdown of our financial system, that they had gone off into the desert for a while and reflected — (laughter) — and said, boy, we really screwed up.  What we were selling didn’t work.  It badly damaged the American economy, and now we’re going to come back with a whole new set of ideas.

With his speechwriters apparently on vacation in Monaco, Obama appears to have lifted a paragraph from a recent essay by one of Speaker Pelosi’s elementary school-age grandchildren titled, “This Is What a Republican Does.”

You cut taxes for the wealthiest Americans, you cut back rules and enforcement when it comes to special interests, and then you cut the middle class loose to fend for themselves.

So if you’re a young person who couldn’t afford to go to college, tough luck, you’re on your own.  If you’re a child here in Texas that doesn’t have health insurance, them’s the breaks, pull yourself up by your own bootstraps.  If you’re a worker who had been laid off, maybe short of retirement, and couldn’t find anything that would allow you to pay the bills or pay the mortgage, that’s too bad, you’re on your own.  Now, on the other hand, if you’re a Wall Street bank or an insurance company or an oil company, then you (get) to write your own ticket.

Contacted by White House Dossier, House Minority Leader John Boehner was disconsolate.

“He’s right, he’s right, we’re bad people,” Boehner wailed, as tears sailed down his cheeks. “We want to stop but we’re bought and paid for by Fat Cats. We just want to hurt people. Why, why, why do we do it?”

A senior White House official showed no pity for the hapless Boehner.

“We offered them every opportunity to agree with us,” he said. “Instead, they agreed with themselves. And they have body odor – have you noticed?”

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3 Responses to Obama Officially Suspends Hope and Change

  1. Yes, I listened to his speech, hating myself for being weak and leaving the remote on the far end table.
    He is like a man working a “long con”. He professes love for you, promises to make things better for you and all he needs to do this magic is your money. You end up broke, in debt and broken-hearted.

    Reminding the voters of the Bush years only brings back memories of when there were jobs, their homes were safe, the economy was good and we gave Saddam a good whup-ass. O’s lies don’t fly.

  2. Comedy gold. If I only I could find the video on You Tube. Fox showed some of the video during the news so I know it’s around somewhere. My software only downloads You Tube.

    He puts the snake in oil, the flim in flam, the con in artist etc.