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Nine Things Obama Will Say on the Golf Course

President Obama will probably hit the greens again this weekend, since, that’s what he likes to do on weekends. He’ll be there with his usual pals, a couple of junior staffers who help him relax by steering clear of deep discussions. And, perhaps, by not questioning questionable golf tactic by a man who likes to win.

We don’t know what this tight group says to each other on the golf course. But we can guess at some of the what Obama says. Here on the nine things he’s likely to say this weekend when they go out.

1. “Yes, I meant, ‘I get to go again.’ Why, is there someone here named Mulligan?”

2. “I don’t care if it landed on the wrong green, its a birdie.”

3. “Hey, that was a practice swing!”

4. “Yes ma’am I’ll pay for the broken window.”

5. “They’re not called ‘Ladies’ Tees.’ They’re called ‘Forward Tees.'”

6. “I always hit better when I pretend it’s McCain’s head.”

7. “Well, I didn’t think that piece of grass looked good there, so I moved it. With my six iron.”

8. “Cant’ hear you! Can’t hear you! Sorry, Michelle, the reception is pretty bad out here. It gets better on the 18th hole.”

9. “Is your lighter working? Mine’s out.”

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