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Kerry Comes to Bore Obama, Possibly to Death

There are certain senators who cause reporters to scatter the minute they come to the microphones because the scribes just know they’re in for a long winded treatise on anything said senator happens to think is vital for him to address at the moment.

One of these senators was Mr. Joe Biden of Delaware. Now these reporters have to stay put while he talks because HE SOMEHOW BECAME THE FREAKIN’ VICE PRESIDENT.

If the vice president makes news and you went to get a frappuccino, you’re in bad shape with your editor.

John Kerry and John McCain
Even McCain can't take it.

Another of these is one John Kerry of Massachusetts, who visits with Obama this morning. Americans themselves recognized this problem six years ago, deciding that as unhappy as they were becoming with Bush, they just couldn’t stand to listen to Kerry for four, or God forbid, eight years. Voters in 2000 also decided not to make another Official Senate Windbag, Joe Lieberman from Connecticut, their vice president, possibly for the same reason.

Kerry is at the White House this morning to meet with Obama and will almost certainly be bloviating at the mikes on the driveway right afterward. Last time he had a one on one with Obama, following an ultimately failed diplomatic mission to Afghanistan, Kerry stood on the driveway for what seemed like the length of an Italian opera and pontificated about what initially had appeared a grandly successful trip.

Obama and Kerry hug
Looks to me like this one started as a handshake and then they realized a hug was in order and so now they're doing both while aides look on in amazement.

It had something to do with convincing Karzai not to be such a schmuck, as I remember. Karzai later decided that he was born and would remain a schmuck, and Kerry’s mission became a failure.

Everyone knows that Kerry wants to be Secretary of State and can’t believe the callow Hillary got the job instead, so he was busy at the White House that day trumpeting his diplomatic chops for a severely bored press corps. He kept saying, “I have to go now,” and then kept going on. That kind of thing.

Now he’s threatening to screw up Obama’s Afghanistan policy because of the Wikileaks, so Obama needs to set him straight. When the docs first emerged, Kerry declared,

“However illegally these documents came to light, they raise serious questions about the reality of America’s policy toward Pakistan and Afghanistan.

The someone, probably Rahm, got him on the phone, and read him the riot act from preamble to epilogue. So then Kerry came out with this contradictory statement.

I think it’s important not to over-hype or get excessively excited about the meaning of those documents.

You know, right after Kerry himself had become excessively excited. So Obama probably wants to make sure the Foreign Relations Committee Chairman has his talking points right.

But perhaps Kerry, who tried to dock his yacht in Rhode Island to avoid Massachusetts taxes, will think twice about facing reporters, who will want to know just what the Hell he was thinking. But I don’t know, he really loves those microphones. It could be a tough morning for the White House press corps.

But Obama certain must listen to him. And if he dies of boredom, then Biden becomes president. And then it could be a tough morning for everyone.

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4 Responses to Kerry Comes to Bore Obama, Possibly to Death

  1. That’s what I was thinking, SrDem! Poetic justice. the president bores us to death almost everyday, blah blah, but we still have to listen in case he suddenly declates war on another backward nation or accuses doctors of lopping off feet.