As of now, I am in control here, in the White House

Obama’s 2012 Acceptance Speech

Some people like what Obama had done, but polls show most don’t. Nevertheless, as he gets set to sign the financial system reform bill today, it’s very clear he’s done SOMETHING. He is a president who has logged major achievements. And he’s going to let you know about it. Those who are already counting Obama out need to think again.

The date is sometime late in August, 2012. The Scene is Cleveland Ohio. President Obama has just taken to the podium to accept his nomination for reelection.

“Thank you. Thank you.”

Applause.

“Thank you. Thank you.

Applause.

“Thank you. Thank you”

Appause.

“Stop applauding.”

Applause.

“NOW.”

Applause.

“Everyone gets cupcakes after the speech.”

Things begin to settle down.

“Three and half years ago, I came into office with the economy teetering on the precipice of a second Great Depression. Today, our economy is growing and jobs are finally coming back!”

Applause.

“I saved the banking system and not a single major financial institution has failed under my watch.”

No applause.

“We passed Wall Street Reform legislation to make sure these dumbass bankers never get us into such a mess again!”

Wild applause.

“We passed health care insurance reform and changed the entire health care system, so that every person in America now has the health insurance and the care they need. And my running mate Hillary Clinton and I will continue to resist all efforts to roll it back!”

Wild applause lasting ten minutes. This is the Democratic convention, remember.

“We have continued our drawdown of troops in Iraq and helped the Iraqis start to run their own affairs!”

Applause.

“My administration has saved the U.S. auto industry from ruin, ensuring that “made in the USA” still applies to cars and trucks!”

Applause.

“And since the Republicans won back the House two years ago and nearly took the Senate, I have resisted their efforts to spread evil throughout the world and to increase the deficit by cutting taxes for rich people.”

Wild applause lasting ten minutes.

“If not for the mean, obstructionist Republicans, we would have had an immigration reform bill and climate change legislation to keep it from getting hotter. Hasn’t this been a hot summer everyone?”

Yes!! Followed by wild applause.

“And since Iran tested its first nuclear device last year, we have placed the toughest sanctions in history on them and ensured that not a single terrorist gets hold of a nuclear device!”

Applause.

Well, now, that last one might be a problem.

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on RedditShare on LinkedInEmail this to someone

13 Responses to Obama’s 2012 Acceptance Speech

  1. I believe he could demagogue his way to a 2012 victory. Charles Krauthammer wrote not to underestimate him recently and I pay attention to Charles. On the bright side I’ll have material for future videos. However, no one will want to watch them.

  2. Never going to happen. He will announce that he will not be a candidate for re-election to spend more time with his young family. He will claim victory for many programs that made America “better” and will take his pension, Pulitzer Prize, and his security detail to Hawaii/Chicago where he will then “write” his memoirs, take on well-paid speaking engagements and live the life of leisure that he covets.
    H Clinton will be the Dem candidate and get crushed in the election by a moderate Repub.

  3. He will claim victory for many programs that made America “better” and will take his pension, Pulitzer Prize, and his security detail to Hawaii/Chicago where he will then “write” his memoirs, take on well-paid speaking engagements and live the life of leisure that he covets.

    I so wish you were right…but a stone narcissist would not do this.

  4. Granny has a point on Krauthammer–he says this is what he will do with his first “mandate.” Then he will kick back until he gets his second one in 2012.

  5. By the way, the state of AZ informed its employees that due to the health care bill, rates THIS year will go up as much as 37%. Achievement or slow-breaking curse of the century?

    • That’s interesting Star. I guess between the illegal immigrants law and this Arizona is one state where Obama won’t be campaigning.

  6. If Clinton gets the VP slot, does Obama compensate Biden by making him Sec. of State? Of course this would have to take into account that Senate Republicans would not play politics in an election year and filibuster as a form of protest against the administration’s foreign policy…allowing a nuclear Iran to occur on his watch is as good a reason as any if I were Mitch McConnell.

    Iran also ties into Obama having to give kudos in his speech to Israel for being a real sport about not launching an air strike against Tehran. Not much clapping from Jewish delegates to that line.

    • You know Bruce, that’s brilliant – that’s exactly what would make sense. Biden would way better want to be secretary of state than running around the country explaining why the stimulus is supposedly working. I might use this but will offer to credit you first if I do.