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Top Nine Things Obama Wanted to Say to Bibi

During their recent meeting at the White House, President Obama and Israeli Prime Minister Netanyahu tried to make it seem like they were real chummy and all. But White House Dossier, employing an expensive team of mind readers, has been able to discern from videos and photos of the session what Obama really wanted to say to Netanyahu. Here are the top nine things they could discern.

1. Before you just go bombing away, have you tried reasoning with Ahmadinejad?

2. No, no, I don’t think it’s unusual at all for peace activists to be carrying guns, knives and clubs.

3. What should you do with the settlers? I don’t know, send them back to Germany and Poland? Come on, Bibi, have a sense of humor.

4. If I don’t get the Jews in the Cleveland suburbs, Ohio’s gone and I’m toast. So, can I make you some coffee?

5. How did AIPAC get my direct line?

6. I think ten miles is quite wide enough for a country, sir.

7. Sure, you can expand the Jewish settlements – into the Dead Sea. Bwahahahahaha.

8. I can empathize with the Jews. I mean, all of us are greedy sometimes.

9. Your wife really needs to get with Michelle’s Let’s Move program

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