President Obama last week “figured out whose ass to kick” when he met with BP CEO Tony Hayward at the White House. Obama kicked Hayward’s ass, and out popped $20 billion. This ass kicking was such a success that White House Dossier has compiled a list of the top ten owners of other asses Obama should Kick.
1. White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs, for suggesting the GOP remove Joe Barton from the top Republican spot on the Energy Committee. Why get rid of something that’s working for you?
2. The Salahis, for having no shame, and then continuing to have no shame.
3. Ahmadinejad. Sanctions aren’t working. Maybe an ass kicking will.
4. Osama Bin Laden. If Obama can find his ass, he should kick it.
5. Al Gore for saving the environment but not his marriage.
6. Tiger Woods from sauntering up and down the golf course like nothing ever happened.
7. Gen. David Petraeus for fainting while trying to explain how we’re going to win in Afghanistan.
8. Hamid Karzai for impersonating a chihuahua by repeatedly biting the hand that feeds him.
9. That Malian soccer referee, on behalf of the entire United States. And while he’s at it, the ump who stole that pitcher’s perfect game the other day.
10. Sarah Palin, before she kicks his ass in 2012. The gal’s got the Midas Touch. For now, anyway.