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Obama Eats Fish From Gulf, Survives for Now

While members of his Secret Service detail were observing a hot chick sunbathing on the beach, President Barack Obama today ate some fish from the Gulf of Mexico

“I had some of that seafood for lunch and it was delicious,” Obama told reporters in Theodore, Ala.

Obama eatsAs Obama took his third bite of fried flounder, one of the agents noticed what was happening, dived onto the table, and tried to remove the fork from the president’s mouth. Obama briefly struggled with his own Secret Service agent, finally knocking him over the head with a bottle of “Bayou Butt Burner” hot sauce.

The agent released his grip, and Obama continued calmly with his meal. The president joked to Gov. Bob Riley that he prefers oily fish to flakey white fish anyway.

Everyone laughed merrily.

Afterward the president spoke briefly, telling the American people not to worry about fish from the Gulf, because the government is taking care everything.

I’m announcing a comprehensive, coordinated, and multi-agency initiative to ensure that seafood from the Gulf of Mexico is safe to eat.

Let me be clear:  Seafood from the Gulf today is safe to eat.  But we need to make sure that it stays that way.  And that’s why, beyond closing off waters that have been or are likely to be exposed to oil, the FDA and the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration are increasing inspections of seafood processors, strengthening surveillance programs, and monitoring fish that are caught just outside of restricted areas.

White House aides later added that fish in restricted areas have promised not to swim to unrestricted areas.

Meanwhile, Vice President Joseph Biden, who last year said he would stay off airplanes to avoid swine flu, was once again off message.

“I’m not eating any of that fucking fish,” he said when told Obama had sampled some Gulf seafood today.

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2 Responses to Obama Eats Fish From Gulf, Survives for Now

  1. Some fisherman on Fox stood there and said he would not eat anything that came out of that water. It’s Omega-3 oil that’s good for ya, not WD-40.,