As of now, I am in control here, in the White House

BP Execs Headed for the White House

In the latest sign that the White House is operating behind the curve on the oil spill, word is trickling out this morning that BP brass have been summoned to the West Wing for a meeting.

In a secret internal BP memo unearthed by White House Dossier, BP executives have been instructed to place small couch pillows in the back of their underpants in amid expectations that Obama will try to kick them in their asses.

The White House has repeatedly reacted to criticism of its handling of the crisis with defiance, only to cave in the end.

Charge: Obama’s not showing any emotion.
Response: Obama starts cussing on the Today Show.

Charge: Obama’s not spending enough time in the Gulf.
Response: Obama starts spending enough time in the Gulf.

Charge: Obama’s not immersed in the issue.
Response: Daily briefings on the mess, a Cabinet meeting on it, a press conference, a belated cry session with victms’ families, and on and on.

After vigorously defending itself against slams that Obama hasn’t met with BP company chieftans and banged their heads to a pulp, the White House has decided Obama will now smack on those very heads during the June 16 meeting.

Obama golf
Obama Commences Kicking Ass

But oh, we don’t want to seem too much like we’re doing as instructed by “talking heads” on TV.

The BP bashing won’t occur in the Oval Office, and Obama will only be on hand for a “portion” of session. Further removing the president from this latest bow to outside opinion is that he didn’t do the inviting, “Incident Commander” Admiral Thad Allen did.

And the White House didn’t specifically invite CEO Tony Hayward – the one everybody seems to want Obama to meet with. But Hayward will be in town, and if he doesn’t attend will presumably instead be having his head checked by a local neurologist.

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